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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

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129 replies

3littlerabbits · 03/10/2015 18:48

Probably am unreasonable but basically we have a group of friends, children all at school together, playdates and all the rest. Found out the rest of the are having a party tomorrow evening at one families house with all the children. No invite for us. Feeling quite rubbish about this. Got a real heart sinking feeling about this now. Tell me to get a grip?

OP posts:
PetraDelphiki · 03/10/2015 19:16

Yep, keeps happening to me!

Groups of mums from school, the friends who post facebook statuses about how much fun they are having at the theatre, the one who posted pictures of her 40th that everyone else was at....

Grit your teeth and remember it's them who are crap not you. I am very lucky that I do have a few very old friends who I know will always be there for me...and I just keep reminding myself that that is more important.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/10/2015 19:17

Definitely text party host, what time we coming tomorrow?

Aeroflotgirl · 03/10/2015 19:18

I am glad I don't belong to groups of friend, just have few separate good friends who would nit shit on me like this.

frumpet · 03/10/2015 19:19

Do you have a DH ? are you sure he hasn't taken a message and forgotten ?

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 03/10/2015 19:22

Couldn't do it Aeroflot. I'll just deal with it. Just feels like I have to re evaluate things. Don't want to blow out of proportion though. im sitting here thinking how boring and uncool I must be. How sad and teenagey is that?! I couldn't say to any of them though. I'll just lie low for a bit. I've decided to bring the kids to the zoo tomorrow though. Refusing to wallow. Thanks for all your support. I wasn't sure if I was just over reacting.

OP posts:
pictish · 03/10/2015 19:24

Oh no! Gaaah that's a gutter. Most likely it's nothing personal against you or your kids, but I understand you can't help but wonder why you are the one left out. I'm really sorry...this sort of stuff sucks.

I hope you find out it was innocent soon.

Itsmine · 03/10/2015 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 03/10/2015 19:25

frumpet dh is more than capable of forgetting to pass on a message, but he was here when the other dad picked up.

OP posts:
bimandbam · 03/10/2015 19:25

Ah fuck them. Come to mine instead. We are having a pony day and dp is cooking tea. It will be slightly burnt m and s expertly reheated but it will be fine. Lots of wine and gin and even some homemade buns might be left if ds doesn't lick the icing off them all.

It will be shit anyway whatever they are doing.

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/10/2015 19:27

Is it everyone else from your circle or just one other family?

Muckogy · 03/10/2015 19:28

sadly, you can't really win with this one. say something and you'll feel like shit. say nothing and you'll feel as bad.
maybe time to reassess this group of friends?

Aeroflotgirl · 03/10/2015 19:28

Just distance yourself, and have a lovely day tomorrow. I think hey been told not to mention it to you, hence the dad not mentioning it.

pictish · 03/10/2015 19:32

Yes...is everyone going apart from your lot?

Tiggeryoubastard · 03/10/2015 19:32

I've been there, but as the host. It genuinely was a mistake. When I rung to ask how long they'd be as the kids food was nearly ready she burst into tears. Of relief. I was mortified. It was easily explained how it happened luckily, so she knew it was not on purpose, but she had been so upset as she'd heard it was happening. I did jokingly tell her off for not just turning up or asking. Just saying this as it does happen. Hope it's what's happened here.

frumpet · 03/10/2015 19:32

Ah well , just a thought , mine still wouldn't have owned up when someone else mentioned it though , he would have bleated about hating small talk and muttered about rugby or something once he had been found out Smile

MoonSandwich · 03/10/2015 19:34

Are you sure there isn't a reason? Do they all do an activity together? Are they all rugby fans (or whatever)? . Do you have a much younger or older child that doesn't fit in with the ages of the other kids? Are you or your kids more difficult to cater for? (I know these are rubbish reasons)

It's still shitty of them to leave them out but if you worked out there was a reason even if it was flimsy you might not feel quite so bad.

Andylion · 03/10/2015 19:36

One of the dads came to pick up and when there was the usual not wanting to go home he said words to the effect of oh don't worry you've another fun thing tomorrow and x,y,z will be there remember
I must have misunderstood. I thought that "x,y,z" were your DCs. They're not, though, are they? Sad (I thought that that Dad assumed you were invited.)

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 03/10/2015 19:39

There's 4 families, 3 others going based on what dad at pickup said. Yeah, I thought we had a good little group going, but clearly not. DC are all similar ages so it's not that. it's just one of those things isn't it - he's just not that into you, the friends version

OP posts:
Original poster
3littlerabbits · 03/10/2015 19:40

Yes x,y,z are the other families dc

OP posts:
LadyLonely1 · 03/10/2015 19:42

Wow how horrible for the dad to do it right in front of you after you having their dc overShock

Is this the first time it happened?

Viviennemary · 03/10/2015 19:43

That's miserable for you. But I think it does depend on how many people are in your group. If you were the only ones left out that that's wrong and you should start looking for a new group of friends. Don't confront them about it. But just see how it goes. It is cheeky of them to have the DC's at your house all afternoon and then exclude you from their party. But sometimes those groups can cause a bit of trouble if there's a few people involved. And then every time you ask somebody over you have to have everyone. instead of just a couple of people.

Curiouserandcuriouser30 · 03/10/2015 19:43

OP I'm so sorry, I think this has happened to pretty much everyone once, and it is rubbish. Not much I can say to make you feel better but I hope you enjoy your day at the zoo tomorrow!

AlmaMartyr · 03/10/2015 19:43

I'm sorry, it's a horrible feeling. Flowers

Batmam · 03/10/2015 19:46

Hate this type of thingSad Any chance the Dad could've got it wrong though? That only two of the families are getting together and not 3? Think that might make it ok...

TheCatsMother99 · 03/10/2015 19:46

That's really shitty of the dad to do that. Knobber.