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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children shouldn't be taught to curtsey for the queen at school

267 replies

Lemith · 02/10/2015 08:57

Thankfully not mine, but my sisters DD is preparing for a visit from Liz and they have all been told to curtsey / bow before her.

I've nothing against the monarchy particularly, but I dont like all this wankery and would treat them just like any other stranger.

Liz once or twice a year gets in my way when she's had a road closed and caused massive inconvince to us commoners.

Aibu to think this should be the child's choice how they greet royals?

OP posts:
mileend2bermondsey · 02/10/2015 12:00

YANBU OP.

I would never curtsy for the Queen, nor not turn my back turn her or any of the other nonsense. She is simply a woman who by the luck of being born into a particular family has lived a life of luxury off the back of the taxpayers.

Be nice, be polite, like you would to any other random stranger. She is nothing special, what has she done to earn curtsy/bowing/kneeling?

This nonsense needs to end sooner rather than later, it does not need teaching to the next generation.

Sixweekstowait · 02/10/2015 12:24

I can't believe 'leave the country if you don't like it' - that is truly truly pathetic. How about saying that to all the people who hate the fact that JC was elected? I would never never never meet any member of the royal family unless I bumped into them in Waitress and have refused invitations in the past to be at events where they would be. I wonder how much money, time and other resources this school is wasting spending on this visit? If it were my dd I would keep her off school for the day and take her on some educational visit that demonstrated the harm and damage that the institution of the monarchy and the aristocracy have done to this country over the centuries.And the comments that equate not bowing/curtsying to the queen with not understanding appropriate behaviour in the work place are just ridiculous.

Asheth · 02/10/2015 12:29

But the problem here is that the OP's DN is being told she must curtsy. I think we all know that there is no legal requirement - they can't chop our heads off any more Grin.

If the school had told everyone to be polite and welcoming. Curtsy/bow if you want or just smile and shake hands if you don't there would be no problem.

NewLife4Me · 02/10/2015 12:30

If you are meeting the queen it's the done thing and expected.
she would be entitled to say off with your head if you didn't.
A friend of mine is a singer, she met the queen curtseyed and farted. Grin
I wasn't there but so wish i had been.

KERALA1 · 02/10/2015 12:33

Agree with moly!

CorbynsTopButton · 02/10/2015 12:37

I actually think that being polite and nice when the queen comes to visit is enough of a stretch in itself (although generally I think being nice to other people should be the default unless, you know, they're coming at you with a knife or something).
You COULD argue for being quite dismissive of a disruptive and probably tedious visit from someone who is at best irrelevant to these kids. Arguably, the monarchy has done (and continues to do) enormous damage. Liz herself might be OK (I don't know her), but then we're really not privy to the kinds of things she uses her influence for behind the scenes. The possibilities related to poor old Di are perhaps the tip of the iceberg.

KERALA1 · 02/10/2015 12:37

I bumped into princess Anne on a train. Would have been ridiculous to have dropped into a deep curtsy to this rather ordinary woman in late middle age in those circumstances. Whole thing seems ridiculous.

Am loving the "why don't you move country then" response - bonkers!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/10/2015 12:42

"If you are meeting the queen it's the done thing and expected."

Well, NewLife - according to the Queen's former press secretary, Dickie Arbiter, in the Telegraph article linked earlier on, that is not true any more.

From the Telegraph article:

"But one of the Queen’s most senior former courtiers has claimed that bowing and curtsying is “not necessary” and that Her Majesty is “very relaxed” about whether people do it or not.

Dickie Arbiter, who spent 12 years at Buckingham Palace and Clarence House as a press secretary, also says in a new memoir that it is a myth that people must wait for the Queen to speak first when they meet her.

In On Duty With The Queen, Mr Arbiter says that such customs were mostly “made up by courtiers over the centuries, and retained for whatever reason. Regardless, what may have befitted the social mores of the 18th or 19th centuries wasn’t necessarily right for modern times.

“Bowing or curtsying when in the presence of a member of the Royal family? Not necessary. Not unless one chooses to.”

noeffingidea · 02/10/2015 12:51

You don't 'have' to curtsey (or bow) when you meet the queen, so it isn't actually etiquette at all. It's an act of subsurvience.
I wouldn't want my kids doing it and I wouldn't do it myself.
However in a school setting I'd let my child decide for themselves. If they wanted to go along with the majority then I wouldn't cause a fuss.

Gruntfuttock · 02/10/2015 12:56

NewLife4Me "If you are meeting the queen it's the done thing and expected."

FFS! I have already posted links twice showing that it is absolutely not "the done thing and expected" A couple of other PPs have said the same. However the vast majority of posters on this thread choose to believe otherwise.

Bunbaker · 02/10/2015 13:10

I must admit that I fail to get worked up over this. I don't hate the monarchy like most mumsnetters seem to do, and I don't have a chip on my shoulder either. The queen is a royal by accident of birth, and I am who I am by accident of birth. The queen is no better than I am, she just happens to have royal blood.

pigsDOfly · 02/10/2015 13:18

I'm a very polite person, I think, but bowing down before another human being?

No, not comfortable with that at all.

Jw35 · 02/10/2015 13:24

YABU and stop calling her Liz

squoosh · 02/10/2015 13:24

Betty?

Jw35 · 02/10/2015 13:27

Or Betty Grin

iamaboveandBeyond · 02/10/2015 13:30

Has to be liz. Short for lizard Grin

Muskey · 02/10/2015 13:37

I am not in favour of the royal family but do have respect for the queen. My view would be whatever the dc was comfortable with as I hard.y imagine they would be hauled off to the Tower of London if they forget. However I would not bow or curtesy to prince Charles or camilla out of principal.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 13:38

Madge?

Hen?

CorbynsTopButton · 02/10/2015 13:41

Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith?

CorbynsTopButton · 02/10/2015 13:42

Bet she prefers Liz.

squoosh · 02/10/2015 13:42

I'm going to use that for my next born.

Defender for short.

WhyDontYouProveIt · 02/10/2015 13:42

I freely admit to not having rtft in it's entirety yet but it really fucks me off when people say 'you've chosen to live here' and 'emigrate if you don't like it'. Most of us were born here rather than actively choosing it. Why should we leave because we don't believe that one person is more important than another, based on an accident of birth? Not to mention that emigrating is not a realistic option for the majority. Even people who want to, can't always just go! Bloody ridiculous things to say to an OP.

I wouldn't want my dc to do this. It's not just a question of manners - think about what you are actually saying when you curtsey. You are telling this person that they are more deserving of extra special respect than any other person. Which is not a message we should be teaching kids imo.

Florriesma · 02/10/2015 13:43

I think the only reasonable thing to do would be a day off for your dn.

I'd have to keep mine off. They have been taught to question and I couldn't trust them. Grin

Jw35 · 02/10/2015 13:48

I don't think so. It's just traditional.

Why does it matter anyway? the queen gets extra respect for running the country surely?

What's wrong with a monachy? Why do we all have to be equally important, it's really boring! Grin