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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children shouldn't be taught to curtsey for the queen at school

267 replies

Lemith · 02/10/2015 08:57

Thankfully not mine, but my sisters DD is preparing for a visit from Liz and they have all been told to curtsey / bow before her.

I've nothing against the monarchy particularly, but I dont like all this wankery and would treat them just like any other stranger.

Liz once or twice a year gets in my way when she's had a road closed and caused massive inconvince to us commoners.

Aibu to think this should be the child's choice how they greet royals?

OP posts:
ComposHatComesBack · 03/10/2015 00:07

So please, stop frothing about being forced to bow or curtsey - because it is not obligatory

A) No but in the case it is obligatory for the niece as she is being instructed to do it by her school.

B) The Queen could put an end to all this servile nonsense by issuing a statement 'the preferred mode of greeting the Queen is to shake hands, bowing/curtseying is neither expected or welcome' yet whilst not demanding it, she sees no problem with people grovelling in front of her.

Donotknowhownottomind · 03/10/2015 01:58

yet whilst not demanding it, she sees no problem with people grovelling in front of her

Scoobydoo8 · 03/10/2015 02:31

Just keep the DN off that day - sorted!

Ericaequites · 03/10/2015 03:06

I am An American who attended a rather mad Anglomanic girls' school who learned to curtsy to the Queen in drama class.

Gruntfuttock · 03/10/2015 11:15

Scoobydoo8 did you just suggest the OP keep her DN off school that day? How is she supposed to do that?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/10/2015 11:54

ComposHat - I was talking to all the people on here who were getting hot under the collar about the fact that they wouldn't ever bow/curtsey to the Queen.

If the OP's DN's mum does not want her dd to curtsey to the Queen, she should tell the school that it is not obligatory, and that the Queen is, apparently, relaxed about whether people do or don't.

noeffingidea · 03/10/2015 11:55

Keeping a kid off school if you don't have to isn't a good idea. They probably have attendance targets. When my son was in seniors I got a letter after he was off for 2 days with sickness, telling me it was being monitored.

redstrawberry10 · 03/10/2015 12:30

Queen is, apparently, relaxed about whether people do or don't.

why do we care what she thinks?

alltouchedout · 03/10/2015 13:02

If the queen or any other royal was visiting my children's school I'd tell them they don't have to bow (or curtesy, but as I have only sons they wouldn't be asked to!) to them. I'd tell them why I wouldn't do it myself. I'd also tell them that some people are happy to do so and that they can decide for themselves. I hope they'd refrain, because I hope they understand that nobody is superior to them simply because of what family they were born into.

Scoobydoo8 · 03/10/2015 14:57

Scoobydoo8 did you just suggest the OP keep her DN off school that day? How is she supposed to do that

I presumed the Q was visitng the school - ok keep the DN off whatever the Q is at. Sorted!

There is so much wailing and gnashing of teeth over trivialities these days - no wonder people stress themselves into illness.
Poor child - just say you don't really approve but because the teacher has asked she must curtsy to HMQ.

All this 'no one is superior to me' bollox, if you feel confident and superior to people your DN curtsying to an old dear is neither here nor there in the greater scheme of the DN's life. Or are you too busy banging your fist on the table to be aware of that.

Get over it. Stress about more important stuff if you must. Or just help DN have a happy life, curtsying is not going to affect that.

Mehitabel6 · 03/10/2015 15:04

People get upset over such trivialities - MN is a real eye opener to me that people like OP think it worth writing about and then word it is such a way that it took me a while to work out what it was even about.
Children like curtsying - it crops up in literature a lot so they might as well know how to do it. Why spoil it for the child by being difficult?

Liomsa · 03/10/2015 15:13

Mehitabel, if you think indoctrinating small children into kneejerk obsequiousness to an institution that underpins birth privilege and that should have gone the way of the dodo long since is a 'triviality', then I think we have very different ideas about what is important.

This pretty much sums up my views on deferential attitudes to the queen - from today's Guardian:

www.theguardian.com/books/2015/sep/30/elizabeth-ii-douglas-hurd-review-bootlicking-obsequiousness

Scoobydoo8 · 03/10/2015 15:37

indoctrinating small children into kneejerk obsequiousness to an institution that underpins birth privilege and that should have gone the way of the dodo long since is a 'triviality', then I think we have very different ideas about what is important

Hahah, see what I mean!

DontHaveAUsername · 03/10/2015 16:27

Disclaimer here I don't have kids but if I did I would teach them NOT to curtsey or bow as I don't think that's appropriate in the modern age. The Queen is not above any of us, so we should not treat her as such.

Mehitabel6 · 03/10/2015 17:15

Some children do have a hard time with their parents!

redstrawberry10 · 04/10/2015 00:23

Children like curtsying

I am no child psychologist, but I bet at best the jury is out on this.

Gruntfuttock · 04/10/2015 13:00

Scoobydoo8 "I presumed the Q was visitng the school - ok keep the DN off whatever the Q is at. Sorted!"

You were saying that the OP should keep her DN off school. My point was that it is the parent that keeps a child off school not the aunt.

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