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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children shouldn't be taught to curtsey for the queen at school

267 replies

Lemith · 02/10/2015 08:57

Thankfully not mine, but my sisters DD is preparing for a visit from Liz and they have all been told to curtsey / bow before her.

I've nothing against the monarchy particularly, but I dont like all this wankery and would treat them just like any other stranger.

Liz once or twice a year gets in my way when she's had a road closed and caused massive inconvince to us commoners.

Aibu to think this should be the child's choice how they greet royals?

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/10/2015 09:02

It's basic etiquette. We live in a country with monarchy, so it's the done thing. I don't particularly like the royal family but I really wouldn't have a problem with this.

WildStallions · 02/10/2015 09:03

YABVVVVVU.

If you're meeting the queen, you should follow etiquette. End of.

Anyway if they're not taught what to do when they meet the queen, and then they do meet the queen, it's not the child's choice how to greet them. i.e. they'll greet them the only way they know how, and they won't be able to choose to greet them the correct way.

If they've been taught to curtsey they still get to choose whether or not to do it on the day. Nobody's going to hold a gun to their back......

EatShitDerek · 02/10/2015 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 09:06

I know it's etiquette, but the sooner it vanishes the better.

Original poster
Lemith · 02/10/2015 09:06

Well we do have a monarchy but its not like we have a choice. I'd take all their assets and use them to make a sovereign wealth fund for the people.

They are being taught that they must curtsey for the queen.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemith · 02/10/2015 09:07

"Their"

OP posts:
CardiffUniversityNetballTeam · 02/10/2015 09:07

This is a tricky one. Part of me agrees with what you're saying.
However, I think that rather than breaching etiquette and making things awkward for everyone involved, perhaps if a person doesn't want to live in a country which has a constitutional monarchy, then they should either emigrate or join a republican campaign and take some direct action; e.g. lobbying, campaigning.

FluffyNinja · 02/10/2015 09:07

I remember being a child meeting the Queen during her silver jubilee (long time ago!). I'm not remotely a Royalist but I can remember how exciting it all seemed at the time.
You obviously want to make an issue of it, but to a child it probably just feels like a fun party type occasion.
Why would you want to spoil that?

LadyLonely1 · 02/10/2015 09:09

Why would you want your dn stand out and look rude. She lives in a country where there is a queen. As someone suggested you can always leave if you don't like it. I'm sure school has much more pressing issues than listening to complaints about this.
Your dn will probably enjoy doing it with all her friends.

iamaboveandBeyond · 02/10/2015 09:10

I think that perhaps it should be made clear that the etiquette is to curtesy, but that some people have principles against this, giving the child the option to opt out of the whole thing if they want to. Rathr than just presenting "ths is what is done".

And also i would hope (maybe? Not given this much thoguht!) that parents are told before the children, so they can opt out before a fuss is made to the chldren

Bottlecap · 02/10/2015 09:11

Teach your niece to offer Lizzy a fist bump
LOLz.

I empathise with your point, but if you meet the queen you pretty much have to curtsey.

Bunbaker · 02/10/2015 09:12

Keep your DN off school that day instead, then it won't be an issue.

Original poster
Lemith · 02/10/2015 09:12

That's exactly my point above.

They aren't giving the next generation the option to opt out of this wankery, just teaching that it should be done.

I like unique people, I'd rather my neice stood out than blended into the croud.

OP posts:
OurBlanche · 02/10/2015 09:12

But you would have a choice if it were your kids meeting her. You could withdraw them from the occasion, then they wouldn't have to be bothered with all of that tosh!

Mind you, they probably wouldn't thank you, such 'wankery' is fun for some people, including kids. As FluffyNinja said, why would you want to spoil that? If the royals are irrelevant in your life then tis all just a giggle, nothing to get your knickers in a twist over!

BarbarianMum · 02/10/2015 09:12

Your sister can talk to her children about monarchy and republicanism and leave it to them to decide. I grew up near one of the royal palaces and our school were occasionally be taken out to cheer on various state occasions. Growing up in a very republican household I always refused to curtsey but compromised by waving my flag. Wasn't a big deal, don't think anyone noticed took offence.

I wouldn't curtsey today either, luckily don't get invited to attend many state occasions.

Original poster
Lemith · 02/10/2015 09:14

If it was my child, I'd give them a months worth of junk mail with no adressee that the royal mail cram through the door to give back to Liz.

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 02/10/2015 09:15

I like unique people, I'd rather my neice stood out than blended into the croud.

That however may not be your nieces view.

helloelo · 02/10/2015 09:16

YBVU
Don't use your children to fight your fight.
Teach them politics, choice and activism if you want, then they can form their own decision.
For them it's probably just good fun to have someone "famous" coming to see them, they would curtsey for Peppa if it was the done thing...

KathyBeale · 02/10/2015 09:17

I wouldn't curtesy either and I've got it all planned that when I get awarded an MBE or whatever (who knows what they mean?!) I'll turn it down. Thankfully the situation hasn't arisen yet...

I agree that the kids should be offered the chance to opt out. It's a difficult message for schools I think - treat everyone the same. Oh except this person.

And as for emigrating because I don't like the monarchy?! Sod that. I'm British. I like Britain. I want to live here. I just don't think some people are better than others.

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/10/2015 09:17

Yabu

Are you not very old?

catfordbetty · 02/10/2015 09:18

I agree with you OP, for as long as we put up with this wankery we accept that a society based on privilege rather than merit. "Why must I curtsey to the Queen, mummy?"
"Because she popped out of a very special vag my love and you didn't."

DiamondoInTheSky · 02/10/2015 09:19

You've chosen to live in this country, therefore you have implicitly agreed to abide by its laws, customs and etiquette.

YABVU

Arsicles · 02/10/2015 09:19

Wow, can't believe how many people think "it's etiquette" is a good enough reason to perpetuate this ridiculous and outdated custom. Do we encourage our children to be so servile at other times?? It's perfectly possible to meet the queen without curtsying, and without being rude. Straightforward hello and a smile will do.

OurBlanche · 02/10/2015 09:19

curtsy it's curtsy.

I'd hope everyone would offer courtesy as it is just being polite Smile

Pranmasghost · 02/10/2015 09:20

You do have a choice. There are many countries in the world without monarchies including much of Europe. If you fancied France it is said to be very pleasant. If you want Britain with all the things which make it desirable then a curtsey to the Queen should you meet her is just etiquette.