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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children shouldn't be taught to curtsey for the queen at school

267 replies

Lemith · 02/10/2015 08:57

Thankfully not mine, but my sisters DD is preparing for a visit from Liz and they have all been told to curtsey / bow before her.

I've nothing against the monarchy particularly, but I dont like all this wankery and would treat them just like any other stranger.

Liz once or twice a year gets in my way when she's had a road closed and caused massive inconvince to us commoners.

Aibu to think this should be the child's choice how they greet royals?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 02/10/2015 10:20

Sitting on her throne draped in finery telling us about austerity

I'd actually support the abolition of the monarchy but I doubt she sits on her throne draped in finery all that much and I can't personally remember her telling me about austerity.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 10:21

it is pretty cool that you guys are the only ones left with a standing monarch

Are we? Confused. Fairly sure that there are a few other monarchs kicking about Europe...

MissBattleaxe · 02/10/2015 10:22

I like unique people, I'd rather my neice stood out than blended into the croud.

She's not your child and she is not your representative.

BarbarianMum · 02/10/2015 10:24

Ah, but SirChen our monarchy is better than theirs. We curtsy and everything Wink

Senpai · 02/10/2015 10:26

Are we? Confused. Fairly sure that there are a few other monarchs kicking about Europe...

Well, you have the most prominent one, with all the theatrics that go with it. The rest never show up in American media

CorbynsTopButton · 02/10/2015 10:28

Senpai, I like the pardoned turkey story. What's it being pardoned for?
I wouldn't have so much problem with curtseying to a turkey, actually.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 02/10/2015 10:29

Senpai, but it's not 'fun' is it? It's a total waste of time, and not 'cool' at all. Whatever our political beliefs, it would be 'cool' to have the Prime Minister visit a school, that's the person who runs out country, or have a famous writer or scientist come give a talk. Giving in to 'charades' is just a bore and a waste of school hours (in this case). The charade of the royal family just causes inconveniance, for what reason? Just to show off our 'culture' to others? No one cares in the USA today that her Maj got some flowers from snot-nosed Jimmy in class 3a, no one cares that Charlie is down in Cornwall have a nice chat with some daffodils. So why on earth should we care, bow down and show these people 'resepct', just for turning up?

(Oh and it's not about 'my country', as a Welsh republican, I do not see the Queen as 'my monarch', but that's a whole other debate.)

Senpai · 02/10/2015 10:31

Senpai, I like the pardoned turkey story. What's it being pardoned for?

It's a random Turkey that is chosen to never be eaten to make up for all the turkeys we kill and eat every November. It gets a little blurb on TV before the Macy's Parade. It's pardoned from... being delicious I guess. Grin

waxweasel · 02/10/2015 10:32

I really don't understand what it's to do with you either. It's your niece! If my SILs or DBs started fretting about what my DD was being taught at school I'd be a bit Hmm

WMittens · 02/10/2015 10:34

If you're meeting the queen, you should follow etiquette. End of.

Why should I? Because her parents were George and Elizabeth and my Parents are Julie and Rob?

You've chosen to live in this country, therefore you have implicitly agreed to abide by its laws, customs and etiquette.

First you say "chosen", then you say "implicitly" - make your mind up, which is it?

I don't recall ever being given the choice about which country to live in, I was 'assigned' to this one by default and it's (orders of magnitude) less effort to stay here than to choose to live in another country.

Original poster
Lemith · 02/10/2015 10:36

I really don't understand what it's to do with you either. It's your niece! If my SILs or DBs started fretting about what my DD was being taught at school I'd be a bit hmm

Its obviously about more than just once child, its a general aibu. Just mentioned my neice as that's ow I found out about it.

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 02/10/2015 10:36

I'm sure I once read that Nancy Reagan refused to curtesy when she first met the queen....will check.

HeighHoghItsBacktoWorkIGo · 02/10/2015 10:39

Don't take it so seriously. It's an interesting quirk of etiquette linking the children to customs of long ago. It's probably the only time in her life that your DD will curtsey. It gives her a "role" to play in the visit. It's probably the one non-passive thing she will be allowed to do! Treat it as a bit of fun and part of the drama that your DD is to be a part of.

AndNowItsSeven · 02/10/2015 10:40

Gosh you are very immature and disrespectful op. Do you have a free period at sixth form?

Original poster
Lemith · 02/10/2015 10:41

immature and disrespectful

Elaborate?Hmm

OP posts:
Asheth · 02/10/2015 10:44

I agree with you OP. I have told my DC that if the Queen was to visit their school they should treat her as any other old lady visiting! That is be very polite, friendly and welcoming, but no need for subservience.

And for all those saying it's etiquette - do any of you watch Downton Abbey? It wasn't that long ago that it was etiquette to bow and curtsy to many members of the upper classes. Personally I'm very glad that we no longer are expected to show subservience to the local gentry.

pinkfrocks · 02/10/2015 10:44

YABVU

The school is teaching basic manners and social etiquette.
When your DN is old enough to make an informed choice, should she meet the Queen she can decide for herself what to do.
In the meantime, she should be taught what is correct behaviour.

A disregard for social conventions and manners is not clever- it's a sign of wankery.

If you don't like the monarchy, relocate to a republic.

pinkfrocks · 02/10/2015 10:45

Personally I'm very glad that we no longer are expected to show subservience to the local gentry.

HM is not local gentry.

iamaboveandBeyond · 02/10/2015 10:47

Yes, consider yourself told op. Vegetarians can raise vegetarians and christians can raise christians, but you must raise monarchists until such age that they can choose for themselves!! Hmm

Senpai · 02/10/2015 10:48

Senpai, but it's not 'fun' is it?

Not with your dull attitude it isn't. Grin

If you don't like it, start a petition to have it changed.

I just don't see the big deal. The kids bow/curtsy and get to meet a celeb. There's all sorts of pointless things they'll be doing in school like coloring sheets or macaroni art, or learning math equations they'll never use unless they become a professor to teach math equations.

At least this one will be memorable and exciting for the kids.

ItGoesWithoutSaying · 02/10/2015 10:49

Gosh you are very immature and disrespectful

To defend the OP:

Immature? For not wanting a constitution that owes more to fairy stories about Kings, Queens and Princesses than a modern democracy?

Disrespectful? Those demanding that their fellow citizens should bow and scrape are surely the disrespectful ones?

molyholy · 02/10/2015 10:49

BeStrong Couldn't agree more. My DD will not bow or curtsey to anybody, whatever their 'title', whether earned or getting a title by just being born. Treat everyone with respect - yes - but bow/kneel/curtsey - no fucking way!!!!!!

The monarchy needs to go. As do these beholden traditions. Lords, Ladies, duchy, duchess ffs. What century do we live in.

Rant over Grin

CorbynsTopButton · 02/10/2015 10:49

And yes, OP, you are very immature not to do exactly as you are told. Slapped wrist for you, my girl.

MisForMumNotMaid · 02/10/2015 10:49

I'm not sure children do live within a democratic environment.

Mine have to do what I dictate at home or there are consequences (some negotiation and lots of love and best interests occurs at home) and at school the youngest is 4 so i expect her to do what shes told and back the school in their discipline policies, my middle son is 9 so knows the score for an easy life you conform and you pick when and where you have your battles. Eldest is 11 and Autistic and the world is almost always unreasonable in his eyes, he's quite political.

I can't quite decide at what point they have the full skills to excercise democratic right and at what stage they need to generally just conform and experience until they have the appropriate set of skills to excercise that democratic right. Legally i guess its 18 alongside the right to vote but is criminal age of responsibility around 10 so at that point they have some personal responsibility?

I would expect mine to do what i consider the right thing and curtsy and be coeuteous to a lady who through birth, privilege , enormous personal commitment and choice has dedicated her life to serving our country. It has many advantages i'm sure but not a life i would choose or would want for those that came out of my, less financially priviledged by birth, self.

If they (my DC) felt strongly about the end to the monarchy i would encourage them to think about how they would like it to be phased out, the various effects this could have and how they could express this opinion to society to see if the majority agree via contacting mp, online petitions etc.

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