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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Children shouldn't be taught to curtsey for the queen at school

267 replies

Lemith · 02/10/2015 08:57

Thankfully not mine, but my sisters DD is preparing for a visit from Liz and they have all been told to curtsey / bow before her.

I've nothing against the monarchy particularly, but I dont like all this wankery and would treat them just like any other stranger.

Liz once or twice a year gets in my way when she's had a road closed and caused massive inconvince to us commoners.

Aibu to think this should be the child's choice how they greet royals?

OP posts:

Donotknowhownottomind · 02/10/2015 09:53

(and no way should republicans have to leave their country )

Fratelli · 02/10/2015 09:54

I think there are way worse things to be concerned about!

PedantPending · 02/10/2015 09:54

So you wouldn't want any children now to be taught basic social etiquette such as please and thank you, shaking hands, standing up when an older person comes into a room etc. etc.
I was taught how to curtsey in ballet class at the age of 3. It was nothing to do with the Royal family.

Vintagebeads · 02/10/2015 09:55

It doesn't matter if Japanese people bow or not, its about a custom for one head of state to the other.
The point being if you would observe a custom for a foreign head of state I don't see the issue with doing the same for the Queen.
If you wouldn't do it for anyone then fair enough.
On a strange note the biggest royalist I know is my Irish mother

Donotknowhownottomind · 02/10/2015 09:57

Basic etiquette should be extended to everyone (including the Queen) of course. It is the bowing and scraping aspect of the etiquette relating to the Queen which is wrong IMO. I really do not think that we are her "subjects".

The likes of Nelson Mandela deserve some reverence IMO, but not the Queen.

BeStrongAndCourageous · 02/10/2015 09:58

As I said, Pedant, I'd expect my child to show the same level of respect to the queen as she would any adult. So she'd get a polite "Hello, pleased to meet you" as that's how DD's been taught to greet new people.

CorbynsTopButton · 02/10/2015 09:59

I was taught how to curtsey in ballet class at the age of 3. It was nothing to do with the Royal family.

Umm, when exactly do you use this skill? If you do it to everyone as a way of being friendly, I'm all for it.

MaidOfStars · 02/10/2015 09:59

Hmm, is curtseying to someone because of who they married worse than curtseying to someone because of who their mother/father is, Maid? Or do you just mean it made you realise how ridiculous the whole thing is?

No, agree with your first premise - it's ridiculous regardless. I guess the probability of a change in monarchy in my lifetime that involves 'commoners' becoming 'masters' gave me a bit of a 'Oh fuck, that's dreadful' moment.

I don't think I'd curtesy to the Queen (just like I don't sing the National Anthem). But as an adult, I'd avoid situations where it might happen.

Itsbloodyraining · 02/10/2015 09:59

YANBU! Load of insulting bollocks. I would not curtsey for anyone or sing the national anthem. Horrendous that this still exists. Sitting on her throne draped in finery telling us about austerity. At least kids should be taught there is a choice. It's normally polite and courtesy to shake someone's hand on meeting in this country.

BarbarianMum · 02/10/2015 10:00

Pendant curtsying to the queen is surely the antithesis of "basic social etiquette". It's elitist. No one is saying that the queen should not be afforded courtesy.

popandboo · 02/10/2015 10:00

There are scientists, inventors, educators and charity workers out there who truly deserve our respect. We don't expect our children to curtsy to them. This is why it bothers me that we have to curtsy to a nice enough old woman who wears nice suits and hats.

The posters who support this - do you believe your children are worth less than hers?
If not, why should they grovel before her?

Of course they should be polite and respectful, but I expect my children to be like that with everyone.

ItGoesWithoutSaying · 02/10/2015 10:05

I believe there is a strong tradition in the USA of not bowing to royalty - dating back to their War of Independence.

This leads to various complications when the President meets foreign royalty. It always seems that republicans (in the wider sense, not the US political party) are expected to respect the traditions of royalty, but royalty and not expected to respect republican principles.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 02/10/2015 10:06

I also did ballet quite young, the bowing and curstey were part of a routine (like gymnastics). Bowing the Japan has is part of the culture, not just for the Emporer. However, in Britian we only bow to the Queen, it's not about culture - it's not about respect, it's us saying 'I'm humbling myself, because I'm below you'. Which neither I, my child, nor anyone else in this country is, just because we were not born into the right family. I have never in my life met a person whom I believe deserves to be bowed down to, in awe and 'respect'. It would take an exceptionally brillaint person, and to be honest I doubt that person would expect to be human-worshipped in such a way.

tiggytape · 02/10/2015 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iamaboveandBeyond · 02/10/2015 10:07

"when exactly do you use this skill"

Well, i did have to do it to the examiners in my ballet exams. Much many more times than i expect to meet the queen in my lifetime

tiggytape · 02/10/2015 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 10:11

You had to curtsy at graduation?! We shook hands with the head of the university when we graduated - which has been a far more valuable life skill than a bow or a curtsy

Iheartjoshcharles · 02/10/2015 10:13

YANBU at all. But the British people love a bit of elitism and feeling inferior. How else could the Tories have been elected.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 10:14

Well, we voted the SNP in up here....

PedantPending · 02/10/2015 10:16

Well I have used this skill quite a few times, but never in conjunction with heads of state.
Actually it makes me cringe when I see people doing it, who do not know how to do it properly, but that might just be my advanced age!

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/10/2015 10:16

I'd love to see someone fist bump Lizzy Derek!

tiggytape · 02/10/2015 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Senpai · 02/10/2015 10:18

However, in Britian we only bow to the Queen, it's not about culture

But... it kind of is. From an outsider looking in, it is pretty cool that you guys are the only ones left with a standing monarch. It's part of what makes your country unique. Everyone knows it's a charade and the Queen doesn't do anything.

We have odd traditions here in the US where the president pardons one turkey every year at Thanksgiving. Does it make sense? No. Is it incredibly ironic to keep one singular turkey alive during a season that blasts us with advertising to eat the damn things? Yeah. But it's still a fun tradition that makes our Thanksgiving, "Thanksgiving".

They're just fun quirks that make your country unique. Instead of getting so uptight about it, just have fun with it.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 10:19

Wowser! What would have happened if you'd said 'sod that'? I think there would have been anarchy at our university if they had insisted we'd curtseyed

Sorry - thread hijack there

tiggytape · 02/10/2015 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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