Wedding gift - they ask for currency, can i jsut give then a huge champage bottle?

[BrendaandEddie]

No time to dick about with foreign exchange and they are too old to be given cash IMO
I have met bride once, H knows groom. WEedding ( evening do only ) an hours drive away etc

will huge champers thing do"?

Lolz @ Becksondegaard scarf.

Lakeland steam mop??

I sometimes give cash as a wedding gift- but never if it's asked for- that;s plain rude.

Anyone asking for cash gets a physical gift.

Deliberately going against a couples wishes just to spite them is just plain ride.

It's rude to ask for any kind of gifts. A gift should be a bonus, not an expectation.
Guests are invited because the couple want to share their special day with loved ones, not for any expectation of a gift.
If guests want to bring a gift then that's lovely, but it is rude to expect one- even ruder to ask for cash.
You may as well sell tickets for the wedding.

In the real world marriages (which are after all financial contracts) have been celebrated with gifts of money for hundreds of years.

In MN lore acknowledging this is beyond the pale and anyone asking for money gifts or even acknowledging that gifts are generally given is a crass vulgarian who deserves punishment via passive aggressive gifting.

It's a very interesting phenomenon.

have you tried the post office

Is marriage simply a financial contract?

I often give money as a wedding gift.

It's vulgar and cheap to ask for it however.

Simply a financial contract? No. Legally a financial contract...mostly.

Gifts are generally given at weddings - it's a fairly common custom. The OP is questioning cash as a gift but she's not questioning the giving of a gift in the first place. Why are suggested guidelines for gifts a problem?

Why are suggested guidelines for gifts a problem?

Because implicit in that announcement is the assumption that a gift will be forthcoming.

Which is rude.

But people give gifts at weddings. It's a custom that has existed for centuries. Why are the New Rules to pretend this isn't the case?

Of course they give gifts, I have given gifts,

It's rude to ask for gifts, Any 5 year old will tell you that.

It's rude here in the same way it's rude to ask for cash at Christmas. Yes, your granny might get you something every year, but to say to her 'hand me the money' just isn't on. Fine if she asks, same as if you ask the B&G and they say, "we'd honestly prefer some cash as we are skint after the wedding/saving for a kitchen" etc. Fine; I asked, you gave me an honest answer. I mean honestly, the only way it could be ruder is by actually specifying the monetary value. Hey, there's an idea for a new troll thread: "the wedding poem asked for £100 for the day reception, do I have to oblige?"

Have you been to the post office yet OP?

I'm not disputing that it's rude to ask for gifts. I'm saying that suggested guidelines and gift lists for an established gifting occasion is not 'asking for gifts' - it's helping people solve a problem.

I'd so much rather give a gift that will be of use (honeymoon currency, travel vouchers, or plain cold hard cash) that some well-meaning but unwanted tat.
These days people are usually combining two households into one so already have too much "stuff". Seventeen toasters are unlikely to help.

A wedding isn't the same as Christmas though - one of the purposes of a wedding traditionally is securing cash and assets for the couple setting up home together.

these days people are usually combining two households into one Really? You state this as though the majority of marriages are second marriages, I don't think that is the case.
It's fine to GIVE a gift , it's not fine to ASK for one. I agree with the wedding ticket analogy.

I imagine KittenofWoe means that most people these days have lived independently in their own home before getting married.

Yes. Sorry kitten

I really don't understand why people get all uppity about giving cash as a wedding gift. You're gonna be spending money on something anyway. If it's what they actually want in order to enjoy their honeymoon and make memories then who is anyone to judge it as wrong? I actually think it's petty and pathetic to purposefully flout their request for the sake of making a point. Give them money or nothing at all

Nothing wrong with giving cash, it's asking for it, or any gift that is wrong. If a guest asks to buy a gift then it's ok to direct them to your wedding list but not before.

What I don't get is why people feel the need for a poem. Honestly, just don't mention gifts at all, no gift list, nothing and leave people to their own devices. Most people will just give you cash in that scenario and it's so much less rude! And if you get three toasters, fine! Tough shit! But I bet you don't.
We didn't ask for anything, didn't mentions gifts, had a small wedding in terms of guest numbers, but got a lot of cash, a couple of lovely picture frames and a couple of thoughtful household items. No triple toaster scenario.

The toaster cliche that always gets trotted out is just silly.

I don't think people have been giving toasters as wedding gifts since about 1975. Back when people got married before they'd already set up a full household (or 2) of stuff, and toasters were relatively expensive, durable items.

I was thinking the same about toasters.

Well the whole evening is proving tricky. Now we need a babysitter. Which is unusual. The night England are playing rugby.
Babysitter duly located. Obv payment due too.

Won't even be staying long at wedding for logistical reasons to do with sitter etc

Le sigh. goes back to sleep

*Nothing wrong with giving cash, it's asking for it, or any gift that is wrong. If a guest asks to buy a gift then it's ok to direct them to your wedding list but not before.^

green18- exactly.

Giving gifts is great, giving cash is great, asking for either is crass.

PiperChapstick

piper, no-one is getting "uppity" about giving cash as a wedding gift. Cash is a great wedding gift.

However a couple asking me for cash is likely to get the same repsonse as an 8 year old nephew asking me for cash for his birthday.