About my job situation and wonder how others do it?

[Lime12]

I'm currently on maternity leave. I've been in my job for nearly 10 years and recently they denied my request for flexible working. I was very upset and angry but have moved on from that. I was on a decent salary, local to my home and it would have been ideal part time. I have now resigned as it is not possible for me to get full time childcare.

I have to work. My husband doesn't earn enough for me to stay at home full time. I wanted to work 3 full days, I thought that would be a good balance. I simply can't find a job that is worth it. Please tell me they do exist?! Nursery costs 50 quid a day and I need to bring in at least £500 AFTER I have paid nursery fees.

I'm doing the maths and most jobs I've seen, it just isn't worth me going out. There are very few part time jobs anyway and most are terribly paid (when you factor in nursery cost).

Aibu to think I have limited options here? What do others do? Evening job? Is there something I have not thought of? I'm starting to get really worried.

Without the risk of outing myself, I have a degree (think core subject like Chemistry) but my previous job didn't use it.

I find it incredibly frustrating that I seemingly can't have a career and be there for my family :(

In my experience the only ones who managed part-time hours were those who went part-time in existing jobs. I agree that you were perhaps a bit rash to resign but these things seem obvious in hindsight.

I had a Saturday job, cleaning jobs, shop jobs, all on minimum wage whilst dd was small, which was the only way I could manage childcare. I'm retraining now, but I was naive to think I could get a job like the one I had.

Good luck..

I changed careers and now work four days per week. I nearly halved my salary though. I think three day a week jobs with good pay don't exist unless you've already worked for the company.

Look at ten to two the agency and capability jane, they may be helpful.

Have you thought about call centres too? If customer service rather than sales based it can be quite satisfying work and you can get evening shifts. In my area Sky have evening shifts available.

blobbi I'm impressed with how you made things work for you and your family.

Care work can be very flexible and fit around a partners full time job. Yes it's not great pay but if you can do a couple of nightshifts a week and avoid childcare costs then it can work. There seems to be an endless supply of care jobs advertised in my area and seems to be what a lot of mums I know do just to get by in the tricky early pre -school years.

They have turned down flexible working, do you think they want you back? What about going back to them and asking for a jobshare? Particularly if you can think of a suitable jobshare partner.

Don't rule out applying for a full time job and asking for 4 days a week. I have successfully done that twice and it's worked out fine if you are up front and they want you badly enough. If you are focused and hardworking they get a full time return for a 4 days a week salary. It may be frustrating but could help you?

I also quit after my flexible working application was turned down -as I knew it would be-. I'm lucky in that I have been able to find 20 hours of at home work, but to supplement I've also taken weekend work with options for holiday cover as my dh can do the childcare on the weekends. Needs must

Thanks Moon. The biggest advantage was that dh had to look after a small baby 12 hours a day on a Saturday. So childcare became very quickly a 50/50 thing. I used to come home to chaos. He couldn't possibly look after a baby all day and clean up. So thankfully never expected me to when he got in from work, despite my 5 days "off".

Yeah, apply for full time and ask about part time or jobshares. It's worked for me before.

The OP appears to be a fantasist, unless you have a very sought after skill then expecting to earn £500 per week after £150 per week nursery fees on only 3 days work per week work is ludicrous.

It sounds like your dh should have gone part time tbh.

Just to clear up any confusion I need £500 a MONTH. Not week! Haha I wish I could earn 500 a week on only 3 days but I fear any job that pays that well would be illegal

Just to clear up any confusion I need £500 a MONTH. Not week! Haha I wish I could earn 500 a week on only 3 days but I fear any job that pays that well would be illegal

I earn that a day and my job isn't illegal! Just find a niche role

Dh is self employed and does earn that kind of money for three days work being a geek pays off eventually in life!

Despite that, we still share the childcare and both work three days, have the kids two and use nursery for one full day. I work for the nhs in a field where most of us want part time at some point. My whole team are part time.

I've just finished reading a very interesting book on this exact topic: half a wife by gaby hinsliff. Would highly recommend it.

I think it is harder for men to request flexible working. A friend's dh has just done so and is coming up against a lot of resistance to his new working pattern. It's harder for men to challenge any discrimination too. Luckily dh loves looking after the kids and we can afford our current set up. But my career has definitely suffered from the large amount of time I've been out of work. There's no ideal solution and not enough public debate about the difficulties of working parenthood.

We need to all influence the men in power positions ( cos it's usually men isn't it) that we live with that they should be open to employing part time job share etc.

If it's not too late, OP, could you get Union involvement. I was in an identical situation, they had provided their (on the surface) viable reasons and at the last minute before resigning, I ran it passed the union. I was told it was unacceptable; I was unwittingly helped by employer offering me a part time position at 5 bands lower than I was on so it immediately became a potential sex discrimination case. I was found a different position, same band, part time, very quickly.