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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unhappy with this school trip?

487 replies

IWannaHoldYourHand · 30/09/2015 22:29

Ds2 is in reception and has come home with a letter advising us of a school trip to a farm in December. The cost is a reasonable amount for the farm that will be visited, however the main focus of the visit is having lunch with Santa, and receiving a gift.

It is the visiting Santa that I feel odd about. I see this as a very family based event, and not something I would expect to do with anybody else, or without his sibling. We wouldn't even refer to him as Santa at home, and it just feels strange to me.

I have spoken to the head who informed me that this will be backing up their learning for that term, and advised that I have the option of attending, but it still feels wrong to me. So is this normal, do schools regularly take a trip to visit Father Christmas?

OP posts:
abbieanders · 02/10/2015 09:30

I sincerely hope that when my child is four her teacher is one of these low iq half wits who sees the value in children having a special day with their little pals. Life is serious enough when you're an adult - I honestly can't see the harm in a lovely day out for four year olds.

At the risk of sounding like an ill educated boob myself, I gather that these days, many educational psychologists are ridiculous enough to imagine that different experiences are extremely important for very small children. Perhaps even surpassing formal learning for this age group.

They have do much to learn from parents who haven't studied this area but are just lucky enough to have the natural gift of a self diagnosed superior iq.

SheGotAllDaMoves · 02/10/2015 09:32

ilove posters have mentioned specific other threads by bobo and denigrated what she said on that thread.

And no one said a word...

But I'll leave you to it.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 09:38

She wasn't being rude to us personally on that thread though shesgotmoves it's another example of her rudeness and disrespect to teaching staff and her bizzare way of thinking about the education system which is relevant to this thread as she has decided to indicate that teachers have low iqs.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 09:39

Maybe read the other thread

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 09:41

I always ask politely and assume that I am speaking to a civilised and rational human when making first requests. But when politely made reasonable queries go unaddressed, albeit with a smile and a handshake, after several approaches, I find that extremely rude and become more assertive.

I have a very good education lawyer who charges €175 to review a letter (30'). We have a great track record in reminding schools of their contractual obligations Smile

abbieanders · 02/10/2015 09:42

LOVED BY ALL.

Shutthatdoor · 02/10/2015 09:55

I have a very good education lawyer who charges €175 to review a letter (30'). We have a great track record in reminding schools of their contractual obligations

Jeeeezzz you seriously are one of the I'm right and everyone else is wrong brigade Hmm not sure why you seem fit to mention what an educational lawyer costs

Quite frankly you sound like a bit of a bully and controlling who forces your view on others.

I just hope it doesn't come back and bite you one day.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 10:13

abbie - I have no idea what your last post means, but I like it Grin

pictish · 02/10/2015 10:24

MN is a bewildering place at times. It really does take all sorts.
Once nice thing about that though...sometimes you get the vaguely pleasant sensation of being glad to be you.
This is one such time for me.
An educational lawyer? I...just...what?!

Funinthesun15 · 02/10/2015 10:28

Agree pictish

PunkrockerGirl · 02/10/2015 10:47

I have a very good education lawyer

Well bully for you.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 10:49

I have a very good school staffed by professionals whom I trust. It's wonderful - and it's free!

Agree pictish.

reni2 · 02/10/2015 10:52

BoboChic, you are sending your children to schools that are so shitty you need an educational lawyer and pay them an arm and a leg? Why not find a good school, is there no choice at all where you live?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 11:01

See why the need for an educational layer if you had some respect for teachers and they did for you,(which they probably don't because you blantently don't for them.) you could do what every other parent does and pop in or catch the teacher at pickup and have a conversation about why home work etc is wrong/to easy/to hard.

Instead of riling teachers up the wrong way marking your kids out as to be the kids of a mother who threatens/takes legal action every time she doesn't like something and calls them morons and questions their iq!
It would save you a shit load of money and you'd probably safe money by not paying school fees to schools you clearly don't oike as well!

Discopanda · 02/10/2015 11:03

Last year DD1 met Santa four times, once at preschool, once at mummy&baby group, once with my parents and once at a shopping centre. YABU.

KevinAndMe · 02/10/2015 11:06

The thing is some parents have unreasonable expectations/demands and some teachers are also not ready to listen to some very reasonable demands from the parents.
It's ever one way

I've had the experience of an appalling teacher who were backed up by an just as appalling HT. when you have gone down the route of being polite, talking to the teacher and you get what are very unprofessional answers, then I can't see why I should stay nice and 'giving praise' (that sounds like a parenting advice to deal with toddlers fgs) and go into strongly assertive mode. the problem is that it's usually these teachers who then seem to think That being assertive is actually being rude.
Same attitude with good teachers leads to a fantastic working relationship and a child that progresses.

Floggingmolly · 02/10/2015 11:06

Jesus, Bobo, your kids must be right little horrors if you're not only sending stern letters to the school on a regular basis, but actually have an educational lawyer on retainer to vet them first...
I hope you're not living anywhere close to me when they finish their education and are released back into the wild unleashed on the world at large.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 11:13

Oh kevin I'm not denying their are bad teachers, some that should never have trained, some who have no flexibility, no understanding of LDs, jeez I had a few, worked with a couple.

Still even with bad teachers being reasonable and trying to solve problems is the first port of call, that really doesn't seem to be the case with a certian poster she seems to go straight to the meetings with management and educational lawyers on retainers!

Shutthatdoor · 02/10/2015 11:15

that really doesn't seem to be the case with a certian poster she seems to go straight to the meetings with management and educational lawyers on retainers!

Don't forget the writing of the curriculum etc etc etc Wink

Liomsa · 02/10/2015 11:45

Hmm. The Santa trip wouldn't bother me (admittedly it doesn't sound educational in even the vaguest sense, but 'fun' is a perfectly adequate reason to do things with small children during school hours) and we don't even do 'Santa is literally real' in this house.

This does not - pace Nancyanne's charming comment - make me a 'ponsey (or even a poncey) parent'. I've no issue at all (as I seem to say every year on Mn) with anyone doing Santa as literally real, and my son, at 3.5, is perfectly happy to go along with the 'some people believe' line, and encountering school fete Santa grottoes, while himself regarding Santa as a fun story, or something like Fireman Sam or the Gruffalo. Fabulous and fun, but not real in the sense his parents are.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 13:06

Kevin - I agree there are some teachers out there who shouldn't be in the profession, but over the course of many years I could count the ones we've come across on the fingers of one hand. If my children attended a school which was so awful that I had to retain a lawyer to affect change then I would move them in instantly.

Bunbaker · 02/10/2015 13:16

"I have a very good education lawyer who charges €175 to review a letter (30'). We have a great track record in reminding schools of their contractual obligations"

Why? Just why do you need an education lawyer?
Do we have such things in the UK?
Why don't you become a teacher yourself, as it seems you know better than the teachers on here?
Why am I asking so many questions on this beautiful October day?

TheSwallowingHandmaiden · 02/10/2015 13:19

It terrifies me quite how involved some parents feel they are entitled to be in how their darling cherub's school is run.

Bunbaker · 02/10/2015 13:25

If they want to get that involved they should join the school's governing body. That is where real changes can be instigated.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 13:31

Don't forget the writing of the curriculum etc etc etc wink

Well that too I really think she ought to him we then she'd save her money on education lawyers private school fees she couks write her own curriculum to her little hearts content and her children wouldn't have to put up with moronic teachers or ones with lower iq than them.

And the boards of management and teachers would probably glad to see the back of her!