To be unhappy with this school trip?

[IWannaHoldYourHand]

Ds2 is in reception and has come home with a letter advising us of a school trip to a farm in December. The cost is a reasonable amount for the farm that will be visited, however the main focus of the visit is having lunch with Santa, and receiving a gift.

It is the visiting Santa that I feel odd about. I see this as a very family based event, and not something I would expect to do with anybody else, or without his sibling. We wouldn't even refer to him as Santa at home, and it just feels strange to me.

I have spoken to the head who informed me that this will be backing up their learning for that term, and advised that I have the option of attending, but it still feels wrong to me. So is this normal, do schools regularly take a trip to visit Father Christmas?

"It is a very British and very female view that it's better not to make a fuss. That being nice and doing The Right Thing will get the deserved result.

But that's not how life works. Surely no one thinks it does?"

It depends how you go about it. I get what I want by being quietly assertive and nice with it. Because of this I have managed to get myself head hunted by my customers on more than one occasion.

I find it depressing when I read on here about other people's problems with teachers/shop assistants/waiters/doctors etc simply because they go in all guns blazing and the person providing the service naturally goes on the defensive.

I never have these problems because I just ask nicely for what I want. You can be assertive without being aggressive.

mehit didn't say that she wouldn't accept reasonable requests.

She pointed out that often these parents are unreasonable.

Mehitabel - my experience is that schools can and do adopt better strategies when a good business case for doing so is made by parents to decision-makers (who are not teachers). This requires a lot of work which, quite reasonably, many parents have neither the time not the inclination to put in. It also requires substantial support from the parent body which, again, needs to be harnessed and maintained.

Agree Bun.

It's also important to recognise your limitations and to accept, however hard it might be, that other people are right and you are wrong.

No- why should I put up with rude people? I would refuse to see them without the Head present and a proper appointment.
I am human- I will go out of my way to help a nice person but the bare minimum for the unpleasant.

I think it depends on environment bunbaker.

One has to change tone sometimes depending on circumstances and the others around a table. Some cultures in particular expect a very assertive style that as a British woman I find cringe worthy...

I see aggressive people on TV who want their rights and think 'you are going about that the wrong way' - the first mistake is to lose your temper.

alfie she has just said that she wouldn't listen, even if the substance of the request were reasonable.

Of course I listen to reasonable requests even if I don't like the tone. I listen to bonkers requests with a nice tone. I don't listen to bonkers requests with a rude tone. That is a step too far!

Quite right too. Life is too short to waste it listening to and making excuses for rude people. It's up to them to modify their behaviour - and then perhaps others will be prepared to listen to their request.

mehit fair enough. Apologies.

Sirchen you were horrendously rude to me on another thread about my dyslexia...

If people want results they get me to speak for a group- they recognise that a calm, reasonable, pleasant approach gets the results they may not achieve if they get heated.

Accepted ( thanks) off out- not ignoring future posts.

Is that after you told me not to speak about things I knew fuck all about because I disagreed with you? And was being 'horrendously rude' saying "you're welcome" when you thanked me for pointing out your earlier spelling error in the same 'fuck all' sentence?

"Fuck all"

sirchen you pointed out a spelling error to make yourself feel superior.
And when I pointed out that I have dyslexia, you said 'no need to thank me' (for pointing out the error)...

You were being rude and nasty and you know it.

And now you're here lecturing about manners...

No, if you check back I said "no problem". You disagreed with me, told me I making "ridiculous observations about industries about which I know the square route of fuck all". You kicked it all off brilliantly and I responded.

Is it really necessary to drag the substance of another thread into this one purely to drive a previous agenda?

You mocked my disability and you know it.

Why not own it?

But while we're on the subject of manners, hijacking threads and referring to other threads on which posters have commented is considered very rude on MN - so I'm not going to say anything more on this.

ilove I think when posters are lecturing about manners and rudeness they need to at least practice what they preach...

So you took it up with her on the original thread. I think your behaviour on this one is rude.

Fine. It's obviously perfectly okay to mock dyslexia.
And it's okay to bring up previous thread's by bobo (I notice no one mithering about that and calling it rude).

No one's talking about Bobo's rudeness to them specifically on another thread.
You're just driving a personal difference between yourself and one other poster.