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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unhappy with this school trip?

487 replies

IWannaHoldYourHand · 30/09/2015 22:29

Ds2 is in reception and has come home with a letter advising us of a school trip to a farm in December. The cost is a reasonable amount for the farm that will be visited, however the main focus of the visit is having lunch with Santa, and receiving a gift.

It is the visiting Santa that I feel odd about. I see this as a very family based event, and not something I would expect to do with anybody else, or without his sibling. We wouldn't even refer to him as Santa at home, and it just feels strange to me.

I have spoken to the head who informed me that this will be backing up their learning for that term, and advised that I have the option of attending, but it still feels wrong to me. So is this normal, do schools regularly take a trip to visit Father Christmas?

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 13:35

Is the standard of teaching, the management of schools and the home/school partnership so awful in France (iirc that's where Bobo lives) that retaining lawyers is necessary? Hmm

Bubblesinthesummer · 02/10/2015 13:39

Is the standard of teaching, the management of schools and the home/school partnership so awful in France (iirc that's where Bobo lives) that retaining lawyers is necessary?

I think it is more to do with Bobo standards interference than it is the French education system Wink

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 13:45

I thought as much. I know very little about the French school system, but I didn't think it could possibly be that awful. The local lawyers must rub their hands with glee - "why of course we can review a letter, Madame, that will be €175". "Pierre, warn your sister the Headteacher there's another letter on its way from us - yeah, same person. Tell her to ignore it again and we'll split €175 same as last time. There'll be another one along soon - ker'ching!" Grin

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 14:51

Private schools are like any other supplier: they provide a service for payment. If they fail to fulfill one of the contractual obligations they have undertaken, against payment, they can expect to be taken to task, in exactly the same way that normal people take their other suppliers to task. It doesn't mean the overall service is not up to scratch - it means one aspect of it isn't.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 14:55

If you've got a lawyer on retainer it's not just one aspect of the service though, is it - and you said schools, implying that you've had to bring them in to deal with multiple suppliers. Something has going very wrong with your procurement process.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 14:56

gone

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 14:57

Where did I say I had a lawyer on retainer?!

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 15:01

My mistake Smile

So, taking out the word 'retainer' - you've obviously had to use them on more than one occasion and/or with more than one supplier. Your procurement process really needs to improve - or perhaps French private schools are just not as good as British state ones.

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 15:04

They're fine - more than fine, actually (DC have come out the other end in pretty great shape). But that doesn't mean they can't get even better! Reminding schools that they need to fulfill their obligations to the law and to the contract they signed with parents in a low-key way works wonders!

abbieanders · 02/10/2015 15:08

A solicitor's letter is low key? What do you do for a real problem? The mafia?

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 15:09

Bringing in the lawyers isn't low key - it's a very drastic step which would only happen here in the most serious of cases. Our local state schools are excellent though, and the teachers/management team are second to none, so we've never had to remind them of their contractual obligations in a low key way or other. What a shame you don't enjoy that type of education system without having to resort to lawyers to affect improvement.

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 15:14

First of all - the lawyer doesn't send the letter in the first instance. The parent(s) do(es), albeit having checked it through with the lawyer in order to ensure it's watertight, legally. Sometimes (depending on the issue) the parent(s) can state in the letter than he/she has consulted a lawyer on the matter, to lend it a bit more gravitas.

Secondly, it's not a threat or the start of a conflict but rather a conflict resolution issue, when the case is watertight. Schools have no money to fight pointless legal battles here so it's quite an efficient way of getting them to do what they should have been doing anyway. And quite often it helps management make teachers do what management has been trying to get them to do anyway!

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 15:18
Sad

Yes, it really does sound like you have a dreadful education system. I can't imagine having to pay for such a poor level of service - I'm so fortunate to have such a high standard of teaching and management to hand.

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 15:18

Then we are both happy.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 15:21

Oh no, I'm very sad for you and all the other people in France who have such poor schools that they have to bring in lawyers on multiple occasions to improve teaching and school management standards Sad

abbieanders · 02/10/2015 15:21

So it's like:

Sophie left her coat in school yesterday. I checked with my solicitor and I'm entitled to it back.

Also, no petting zoos pls tnx.

Legally yours,
Mrs Chic

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 15:22

Don't you ever feel the urge to improve your DC's lives?

abbieanders · 02/10/2015 15:24

Thankfully she's happy enough without legal assistance.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 15:24

Of course - but fortunately they go to such excellent state schools that lawyers are completely unnecessary.

Shutthatdoor · 02/10/2015 15:25

Schools have no money to fight pointless legal battles here so it's quite an efficient way of getting them to do what they should have been doing anyway.

Or what you want them to do.

You basically threaten them with legal action knowing full well that you, unlike them, have the money to take them to court, whether you are right or wrong. just because something is 'legally tight' it doesn't mean it is right

The French education system is not 'awful'.

BoboChic · 02/10/2015 15:25

No it's like:

The law says that schools mustn't give written homework to primary school children. However, not only did you set three hours worth of written homework last week but you also gave my child a detention for non-completion of said homework, which is also against the law. I shall not be sending my child to the detention and I suggest you shut up about detentions and we parents will all keep quiet about the homework which parents and teachers all secretly adhere to.

(obviously in a quite different style of language)

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 15:25

abbie - that letter is spot on. That will be €175 please.

Shutthatdoor · 02/10/2015 15:26

Of course - but fortunately they go to such excellent state schools that lawyers are completely unnecessary.

I'm sure Bobo would find it needs needed anway. Wink

Floggingmolly · 02/10/2015 15:26

Why would a letter to your child's school need to be legally watertight? Confused. And not just one letter in extreme circumstances, but multiple letters to multiple schools by the sound of it?
You really do live in Apache territory, Bobo. If I was you, I'd move somewhere the natives are friendlier.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2015 15:27

Gosh Bobo - that sounds dreadful. Having to send your children to schools which operate like that must be very difficult for you.