to think being a paedophile isn't a crime?

[KissingFish]

I see posts from people both on here and other places (Facebook) about how paedophiles should all be killed and confusing the terms paedophile and child molester / child abuser.

They're not the same thing and honestly I don't think being a paedophile is a crime. It is a sexual orientation that nobody chooses to be born with. The same way people are born straight or gay.

Just because someone is a paedophile it doesn't mean they have acted on it and so it doesn't mean they are a child molester.

Surely if we all accepted that paedophilia is a sexual orientation we could help these people before they commit a crime. Before they act on it. I bet there are a LOT more paedophiles out there than we know about. They just don't act on it because they know it's wrong to act on it.

I am of course not saying being sexually attracted to children is a good thing or that it should ever be OK to act on it. No way. Just that I don't think people choose to be a paedophile and it must be pretty scary to realise you are attracted to children. Much the same way it used to be about being gay. And I don't imagine you can just ask friends, family or many people actually for help and advice.

I think in order to deal with a problem you need to understand it first.

I am willing to be convinced otherwise though if anyone has a good argument?

Disclaimer: I am not a paedophile, I just don't believe they are all evil.

I will say i know everybody has said there is a sifference but to me there isnt a difference between child abusers etc.
I don't think some teens realise abuse either.

Hairbrush you are referring to ONE case, using photos, which was highly complex (across regions, via one man).

Oh and he made quite a bit of money from that. The victims are suing for recompense from him.

Im not trying to minimise your experiences, but neither do you have the right to dismiss mine.

This was my experience, as a child it was confusing and scary but I didn't understand

Exactly. You didn't understand. You knew it was wrong to do, it was wrong for you, but it didn't have the same massive impact as when you are an adult as you describe later.

Many, many abused children are not physically forced to do anything, and never experience anything physically painful. They may have the sense if a "wrong touch" but it doesn't hurt, and its payoff is the special love and attention. This is why grooming is so insidious, and why children can be so confused by child abuse, and why it can be so hard to spot.

Please do not send the link Amarmai.

it's all i understand why sordid felt offended by your last post.
This has impacted on her, maybe more through her childhood than she knew.

just google Martijn Foundation.
Yep getting some real turn arounds from some posters now. Guess they want to keep their great names?

Hairbrush you are referring to ONE case, using photos, which was highly complex (across regions, via one man).

Yes I am. I intended to.

To clarify my post where I was saying perhaps there aren't "levels" of abuse. But there's certainly differing types of abuse which will impact differently.

I think it's dangerous to refer to one type of abuse as a higher level of abuse because it implies some forms of abuse are more okay than others when NO abuse is okay ever.

But there's certainly different types

i'm not having people like that minimise child sexual abuse

That's unfair. Grossly so. Nobody on this thread has minimised child sexual abuse.

ItsAll How's that hole you're digging going?

Have you reached Mars yet?

Sordid...

Just when I thought this thread couldn't get much worse, we get the latest post from itisallfine, I can only compliment and admire you for surviving such abuse, and secondly to fight your corner so valiantly on here. I have stayed on here just to help you.

It is quite sickening the thread, and particularly it is deeply personal. No need to give details, but do know there is 'true' support on here for you.

Walter,

There have been so many posts that have minimised child abuse, that is why the thread is on fire. I think you need to reread them all, all 687 of them.

I don't think it really matters about levels of abuse ( yes more are worse than others) but all are bad and shouldnt happen. Even if it's not as severe, it may still impact the victim.

deadwitchproject Wed 30-Sep-15 17:34:51
Holy shit indeed. Never thought I would see so much explanation about and understanding and compassion towards paedophiles on a parenting site.

Yes, it's truly shocking. I can't believe how this thread has turned - It'sallgoingtobefine are you seriously suggesting that children don't suffer during the acts of child abuse as long as they are not physically injured? Because it makes a much loved adult happy? I've never read such apologist crap - except from child abusers themselves.

There are accounts of victims describing how they lay in fear, night after night, dreading the turn of their bedroom door, fearing their abuser would move onto younger siblings, describing the utter trauma,violation, confusion and fear before, during and after attacks - being too frightened to tell. Your posts make me sick.

No, it's on fire because posters like you are deliberately (or not which is more worrisome) misinterpreting posts.

You're being ridiculous and maniacal and now, based on your recent post, you've painted yourself as some sort of crusader.

Basically, you need to calm the fuck down.

The waters muddy, however, the moment a paedophile seeks out materials to "stimulate" their imaginations.

Child molesters/abusers also make a fortune producing child porn. Those who consume it are complicit in the abuse of the children who are being victimized, sometimes horrifically.

So Hairbrush, a parent in this case knows its child's image is out there forever, it's something that can never be erased. This child might well be 6 months, 2 years, not knowing what's going on. But this child is in its formative years and relies on its parent to love.

How can this not impact on the child? As a parent you would be over compensating, could well have relationship problems; how can this not possibly effect the physical and mental well being of the child?

That is true Kali, I suppose some are worse than others. But all are horrendous and deeply damaging to the child. To the child that has been violated and hurt it will not feel any better because it could have been worse...

Oh, and for the record... I was the victim of a paedophile for much of my pre-pubertal life. I can tell you without a doubt I have been very much harmed by this.

Bingo card filled thanks to Walter

Maniacal
Ridiculous

And the real prize

Calm the fuck down

lily yes, that was my point, all abuse no matter what is bad..

And Walter

Some children are told this just as they are about to be abused.

So if you want to have a sensible discussion on a sensitive issue, be kind.

Sensible discussion? Ha!

That ship sailed pages ago. Some of you made quite sure of that.

Managed to read to page 9 then couldn't continue.
I do not agree with the sympathy on this thread, calling it a orientation and comparisons to homosexualilty at the start are beyond insulting.
Fundermentally we are talking about people sexually attracted to children the turn on will obviously involve an element of the power they would have over an unwilling participant- so dress it up however you want- even if this is not acted upon physically or through use of sexual images online its wrong
I worked with someone who had worked with people on sex offenders register and she said that she'd be on the look out for holiday brochures when doing home visits as they were popular for looking at children with not much on in way that people couldn't object too :(
Sickening.

No that was you Walter.

And yet again, you use abusive terminology because you're not getting your way.