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Original poster

to think being a paedophile isn't a crime?

999 replies

KissingFish · 30/09/2015 11:04

I see posts from people both on here and other places (Facebook) about how paedophiles should all be killed and confusing the terms paedophile and child molester / child abuser.

They're not the same thing and honestly I don't think being a paedophile is a crime. It is a sexual orientation that nobody chooses to be born with. The same way people are born straight or gay.

Just because someone is a paedophile it doesn't mean they have acted on it and so it doesn't mean they are a child molester.

Surely if we all accepted that paedophilia is a sexual orientation we could help these people before they commit a crime. Before they act on it. I bet there are a LOT more paedophiles out there than we know about. They just don't act on it because they know it's wrong to act on it.

I am of course not saying being sexually attracted to children is a good thing or that it should ever be OK to act on it. No way. Just that I don't think people choose to be a paedophile and it must be pretty scary to realise you are attracted to children. Much the same way it used to be about being gay. And I don't imagine you can just ask friends, family or many people actually for help and advice.

I think in order to deal with a problem you need to understand it first.

I am willing to be convinced otherwise though if anyone has a good argument?

Disclaimer: I am not a paedophile, I just don't believe they are all evil.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 30/09/2015 17:03

No, you sexually abuse a child, you're a child abuser. Simple.

Elendon · 30/09/2015 17:03

It seems to me that there is a distinction being made regarding levels of abuse in the MINDSETS of paedophiles by certain posters.

This is interesting because it does tie up with other levels of abuse within the MINDSETS of abusers.

It was only a slap
She said yes last time
We're married
It's my money

When looking at it from this viewpoint it doesn't excuse any, ANY, abuse, whether 'physically or mentally' - can't we take an holistic approach?

MySordidCakeSecret · 30/09/2015 17:03

Lurkinghusband

You come across as a very, very sad man.

kali110 · 30/09/2015 17:04

I haven't seen or heard that campaign my sordid.
That's Scary. Is that in the usa?
I would support help being made available to anybody who hasn't committed an act as anything that stopped one child being harmed has to be a good thing?
It can't be right they can only get get help once they've committed a crime, because that means a child has been hurt in that time!
Not everybody realises they're being abused or groomed until too late.

Elendon · 30/09/2015 17:04

IKnow you are the one contributing and stoking the ranting.

Itsmine · 30/09/2015 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MySordidCakeSecret · 30/09/2015 17:05

I don't really want to google the details, but it has been a high profile campaign in the past, if i remember right it has involved mps etc, some sort of magazine? As i said i really don't want to look it up, but yes that is a lot of peadophiles ultimate goal, to be able to leagally have sexual relationships with young children.

Senpai · 30/09/2015 17:06

No, you sexually abuse a child, you're a child abuser. Simple.

and a pedophile.

DriverSurpriseMe · 30/09/2015 17:06

I've figured it out now.

This thread is like the Brass Eye "Good AIDS Bad AIDS" sketch.

Some people are keen to point out that some paedophiles are better than others. Others prefer to categorise all paedophiles as people they wouldn't want to invite round for dinner. I'm in the latter category, ta.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 30/09/2015 17:07

Zzzz

MySordidCakeSecret · 30/09/2015 17:07

yy to senpai and driver

Elendon · 30/09/2015 17:08

Lurking I thought you wanted to have an intelligent discussion about thinking about child abuse being made a crime. Or have you forgotten that?

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 30/09/2015 17:08

I don't really want to google the details, but it has been a high profile campaign in the past, if i remember right it has involved mps etc, some sort of magazine? As i said i really don't want to look it up, but yes that is a lot of peadophiles ultimate goal, to be able to leagally have sexual relationships with young children.

Yeah, might need a bit more proof of this "lowering of the age of consent to 4" than a dream you may or may not have had.....

OfaFrenchmind2 · 30/09/2015 17:08

And it is a very important point, if a young child is not being physically hurt by an abuser they will not feel about the abuse the same way you would. They will not come to you distressed saying that someone is abusing them, they may mention in passing that their favourite baby sitter plays a funny tickling game with them at bed time but they don't attach the same emotions to it that you do. They will see it as doing something odd and a little bit naughty to make a favourite adult who loves them very much happy

I cannot accept this complacent view of light paedophilia, and abuse. I had to see in high school a bright and successful friend of mine finally clock on the fact that she was abused as a child. The exact kind of 'not distressing' abuse that you describe. She did not understand as a child, and then she did as a teen. She unravelled, cried, had to give up on the high level education she was going to get and had anorexia problems. She is only now getting better, with a vision of a future.

This difference you make between violent abuse and 'light' abuse is not acceptable.

DriverSurpriseMe · 30/09/2015 17:08

Also, those complaining about how this thread could have been an interesting discussion - which topics haven't been covered? What are the interesting points you wanted to discuss?

Genuinely interested.

kali110 · 30/09/2015 17:09

Today 17:00 MagicalMrsMistoffelees
Yes i agree with you. I have sympathy (again trying to put things in very clear terms) for the people who don't want to, have not and want help for their horrible feelings but i couldnt trust my kids around one.
I 'm not saying rax is wrong, i completely see her point, i just don't think i could.

MySordidCakeSecret · 30/09/2015 17:09

you're having a laugh IknowIam I thought this was common knowledge! hold on then.

lilycabbagerocks · 30/09/2015 17:09

hamiltoes go to a diifferent forum if you are looking for sympathy for paedophiles.

MySordidCakeSecret · 30/09/2015 17:11

I cannot accept this complacent view of light paedophilia, and abuse. I had to see in high school a bright and successful friend of mine finally clock on the fact that she was abused as a child. The exact kind of 'not distressing' abuse that you describe. She did not understand as a child, and then she did as a teen.

This was my experience, as a child it was confusing and scary but I didn't understand, only as an adult, after discussing with my partner about a documentary we'd watch where children were forced to undergo camps did the feelings and memories come back and I realised i'd been abused. It hits you very hard.

kali110 · 30/09/2015 17:11

07 MySordidCakeSecret never saw anything of it, but then i can't say i ever see much of the news!
That has really shocked me though.
I remember seeing something about nampa or something on an episode of law and order that shocked me.

LurkingHusband · 30/09/2015 17:13

MySordidCakeSecret

Lurkinghusband
You come across as a very, very sad man.

Well, certainly not sad enough to burst into tears at ad hominem attacks but I guess there's time yet. I'm sure I can hang on until all logic and reasoning have left me, then return to this thread. Although it may have reached 1,000 long before then.

MySordidCakeSecret · 30/09/2015 17:14

I don't know how to make a link on here but it was the high profile PIE group (peadophile information exchange) who believed children had a "right to sex* there have since been previous calls to lower it to 10 by someone called patricia hewitt. Feel free to do more research.

hairbrushbedhair · 30/09/2015 17:15

sorry leedy i can't work out what's funny about a serious campaign by sick twisted individuals who think such a consent age would be acceptable

It was i who found it comical as a response to Leedys post. Where I believe she/he was implying that some people who seriously injure children sexually don't have sexual attraction towards children but simply desire to hurt them, rather than a pedophile child abuser who has a deluded idea of being in consensual love with a child. Which I imagine are the ones campaigning for it to be legal from 4. Apologies if I have it wrong Leedy?

the point being made was the IN GENERAL child abusers who rape children aren't what would be considered true paedophiles - not all paedophiles are child abusers and not all child abusers are paedophiles. Nobody is claiming that child rape and other more injurious forms of abuse don't exist, sadly they very much do as per the memoir you cited.

Elendon · 30/09/2015 17:16

Filling up my bingo card here

Ad hominem
Hitler
Ranting
Hysteria
Idiotic
Stupid
Thick

Just because some people (seems like most) don't agree.

Senpai · 30/09/2015 17:16

Also, those complaining about how this thread could have been an interesting discussion - which topics haven't been covered? What are the interesting points you wanted to discuss?

Things like...

Admitting you're a pedophile shouldn't be a crime when done in a therapy setting, so they can get help without fear of being arrested or investigated by authorities.

That way they can get the help they need before they ever act on impulses.

Now that we know there are brain scans to show there's visible differences we need to start working on cures or pills to "fix" their brains like we would. To do that we need people to volunteer for drug trials.

To get these people, we need to be a bit less hostile in a therapy setting towards them and let them know it's ok to seek help.

Obviously if you're admitting it at a social gathering or to a friend, they shouldn't be sheltered from any social repercussions, as it should never be an accepted illness.