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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think being a paedophile isn't a crime?

999 replies

KissingFish · 30/09/2015 11:04

I see posts from people both on here and other places (Facebook) about how paedophiles should all be killed and confusing the terms paedophile and child molester / child abuser.

They're not the same thing and honestly I don't think being a paedophile is a crime. It is a sexual orientation that nobody chooses to be born with. The same way people are born straight or gay.

Just because someone is a paedophile it doesn't mean they have acted on it and so it doesn't mean they are a child molester.

Surely if we all accepted that paedophilia is a sexual orientation we could help these people before they commit a crime. Before they act on it. I bet there are a LOT more paedophiles out there than we know about. They just don't act on it because they know it's wrong to act on it.

I am of course not saying being sexually attracted to children is a good thing or that it should ever be OK to act on it. No way. Just that I don't think people choose to be a paedophile and it must be pretty scary to realise you are attracted to children. Much the same way it used to be about being gay. And I don't imagine you can just ask friends, family or many people actually for help and advice.

I think in order to deal with a problem you need to understand it first.

I am willing to be convinced otherwise though if anyone has a good argument?

Disclaimer: I am not a paedophile, I just don't believe they are all evil.

OP posts:
beefthief · 30/09/2015 14:40

sorry beef, this is an emotive and triggering topic for me. I have experience of my own abuse being minimalised by my own family because the perpetrator was from a respected and well known family.

Yeah, that's really horrible. Sorry to hear that. May I (more politely) suggest again that this may not be the best thread for your health and happiness.

Raxacoricofallapatorius · 30/09/2015 14:40

Yes my friend declared their paedophilia. Yes they receive regular, ongoing support and treatment.

This person is a father, uncle, grandfather, brother, father in law. Of course social services are aware. His entire family knows. His friends know. He will not enter a house where there are children without the adults knowing and without their permission.

hairbrushbedhair · 30/09/2015 14:40

The discussion can be solved so easily. Killing all paedos would be the kindest thing we could do, putting them in a low security prison with relaxed supervision would be unkind.**
**
This was written by you Lilycabbagerocks.

I assure you I have read the thread. Good day Hmm

ShowOfHands · 30/09/2015 14:40

MySordid

ONE person.

Elendon · 30/09/2015 14:41

MySordid, apologies, I must run now. But I understand where you are coming from. Just, please don't feed the detractors ammunition.

Flowers
ouryve · 30/09/2015 14:41

I love how the OP lobed a great big stink bomb then came back precisely once to announce how offended they were by something before pissing off again.Hmm

Itsmine · 30/09/2015 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hamiltoes · 30/09/2015 14:41

Milk it was in a Wikipedia page about Sigmund Freud and his theories, I'm not a phsycologist though so have no idea about the weight behind this, just find it all very interesting.

Elendon · 30/09/2015 14:42

Glad to hear it Rax. Same here.

milkmilklemonade12 · 30/09/2015 14:43

elendon that's really interesting! I think perhaps for some people it may be fairly fluid. Im not sure whether you'd switch with regards to age though? I am attracted to a certain age bracket (maybe that's ageist!) like I wouldn't find someone of George Clooney's age attractive. I don't know why and I can't explain it. I think I've always sort of known that I'm attracted to men of my own age (so at 14 I fancied boys in my year group). My mum told me it was fine if I had a crush on a girl ever, but it never really happened to me. But perhaps, as you say sexuality is fluid in age as well as gender because mine changed with age; so I'm not attracted to year 7 boys anymore.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 30/09/2015 14:43

Saying paedophilia is a sexual orientation is comparable to saying rape is a sexual orientation

It's really not. Saying child abuse is a sexual orientation is comparable to saying rape is a sexual orientation.

milkmilklemonade12 · 30/09/2015 14:46

four that is very true. Now I understand that better, thank you.

amarmai · 30/09/2015 14:48

agree with under the greeenwood tree. Mn is being used as part of the campaign to alter our perception of sex with children. The end goal IS SEX WITH CHILDREN .

sunshineintheclouds · 30/09/2015 14:49

ThIs thread is just wrong. How can anyone even suggest that a person who even thinks of hurting little children in that way is born like that , in the same way we have a preference in gender. Paedophilia is sick plain and simply and if I ever had such a sickening thought enter my head I would end my own life whether I planned on acting on those thoughts or not.

Yes I was abused as a young girl and by a man who was meant to be my father (biological) he like all the rest will tell you he couldn't help it. It is a desire blah blah. No you horrible piece of scum you are sick in the head and that's that... getting turned on by little children utter wrong in every way.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 30/09/2015 14:49

Ah, now the capitals are coming out...

The thread has totally been hijacked by the Flat Earthers, time to leave them to their frothing.......

Itsmine · 30/09/2015 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

leedy · 30/09/2015 14:49

Who on this thread is advocating sex with children?

Hamiltoes · 30/09/2015 14:50

I think some sexual preference is fairly fluid milk where as some are stuck with you.

I wonder if the same thing that means we are generally attricated to older/ younger/ same age/ is the same thing that is "broken" in others.

For example I have always been older, even as a teenager, and found this hard at times because while I could see those my age group in a kind of obscure, good genes type of way, i never found myself phsyically attracted to them.

kali110 · 30/09/2015 14:51

Today 14:24 lilycabbagerocks
But you have mentioned that they should be killed, or kill themselves...

LurkingHusband · 30/09/2015 14:52

Who on this thread is advocating sex with children?

No one. But then there are some really thick people around. My suspicion is this thread was started because the OP wanted a discussion with people who actually read and understand, and couldn't think of any other way of keeping them busy.

Somewhere on MN there is a thread where everybody is reading, understanding, and adding valuable insights into a serious subject.

It's just not this one.

hairbrushbedhair · 30/09/2015 14:52

agree with under the greeenwood tree. Mn is being used as part of the campaign to alter our perception of sex with children. The end goal IS SEX WITH CHILDREN .

Sorry what ?!

Who on here has suggested sex with children is ever okay

It will never be okay. But hopefully one day it will be okay for someone to admit they're a potential danger to children and need help safeguarding themselves and preventing them from acting upon their sexual attraction to children

Gottagetmoving · 30/09/2015 14:52

Only my family no male friends. But I think the majority of parents would not invite someone to dinner after finding out that that person was a peadophile. It's not a typical situation surely

I should imagine that 'the majority' wouldn't, however, that does not mean that people would not either.
Apparently, children are more at risk from members of their own family or someone well known to the family, who no one suspects is a paedophile.
With our family, we have to trust. I doubt you will hear of many mothers who would consider their husbands or partner could be a paedophile. Perhaps that is why so many refuse to accept it when their child accuses them. Perhaps the danger lies there more than with a known paedophile?

leedy · 30/09/2015 14:54

You're probably right, LurkingHusband. It's a pity, as there is a potentially useful/thoughtful/interesting discussion hiding in here under all the ranting.

Itsmine · 30/09/2015 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 30/09/2015 14:56

Sexual orientation is being attracted to male/female or both. Since children are either male or female, it is a deviated preference like necrophilla, desire to animate objects or animals. Most of us have preferences to certain varying difference in people. Paedophiles have a deviated preference to children. But it isnt always as simple as being attracted to children, it can be due to childhood, MH issues or various other factors.

That being said, I personally will never see paedophilla as anything but a potential risk and should not be accepted or treated as homo/bisexuality.

Before any jumps on me. That is my own opinion in a discussion.