to think being a paedophile isn't a crime?

[KissingFish]

I see posts from people both on here and other places (Facebook) about how paedophiles should all be killed and confusing the terms paedophile and child molester / child abuser.

They're not the same thing and honestly I don't think being a paedophile is a crime. It is a sexual orientation that nobody chooses to be born with. The same way people are born straight or gay.

Just because someone is a paedophile it doesn't mean they have acted on it and so it doesn't mean they are a child molester.

Surely if we all accepted that paedophilia is a sexual orientation we could help these people before they commit a crime. Before they act on it. I bet there are a LOT more paedophiles out there than we know about. They just don't act on it because they know it's wrong to act on it.

I am of course not saying being sexually attracted to children is a good thing or that it should ever be OK to act on it. No way. Just that I don't think people choose to be a paedophile and it must be pretty scary to realise you are attracted to children. Much the same way it used to be about being gay. And I don't imagine you can just ask friends, family or many people actually for help and advice.

I think in order to deal with a problem you need to understand it first.

I am willing to be convinced otherwise though if anyone has a good argument?

Disclaimer: I am not a paedophile, I just don't believe they are all evil.

LILY you really need to put your pitchfork down and fucking stop accusing posters of being child abusers. I'm getting fucked off.

I disagree sidge I think it would have an impact. As per the documentary, they have to make decisions on how funding is spread between services, if you add another one it is spread more thinly.

Did someone say "paedophile"? WAHEY! GET OUT THE PETROL AND LET'S GO AND BURN SOME HOUSES DOWN!!

I can see why it's controversial, but ItsAllGoingToBe is echoing the view of some people who were abused as children when she says society's view of abusers can make victims' suffering worse. How is that apologising for the horrific harm that abusers certainly can inflict (acknowledged by pretty much everyone on this thread)? Nothing happens in a vacuum.

Valliant attempt at discussion, OP and others.

I agree the desire itself is not a crime. But I don't agree that it could be termed a 'sexual orientation'. I would say it was a mental illness.

Alcoholism is an addiction and reliance on a substance

AA support group type therapy is not the level of intervention I think is a serious idea by professionals

Psychological therapy 1 on 1 actively discouraging any connection with other paedophiles and perhaps some sort of voluntary tagging device to access the therapy that would alert police if within the vicinity of playgrounds and schools or allow an anonymous alert to vicars, or imams etc that someone is attending so they can be extra vigilant with safeguarding to be worn until the duration of therapy is completed I rhink would be more sensible. They do tag people in forensic psych hospitals already these days

I doubt many paedophiles abuse children in the presence of an unwitting mother or father over dinner SordidCakeSecret

Really gottatget? It was only earlier on in the thread that a poster described being abused by a man who delighted doing it in the same room as her parents, even whilst in conversation with them. When I was abused it was often a few metres away from adults.

I am seeing this thread for exactly what it is. It is not hysterical or irrational to believe that the posters on here are certainly not mothers/fathers with children, but paedophiles dressed up as mothers minimising child abuse. Read the posts. I can assure you this the case. I notice the posters calling me such names are the sympathisers no less. Strange that.

Do not come on to MN and seriously expect tolerance and understanding for child abuse. It is laughable so much as it is downright stupid.

"Leedy you seem to be very knowledgeable about the subject and peer groups and support groups for young men etc, and yet you claim to be a mother with children?"

FFS. I heard a really interesting episode last year of a radio programme I listen to all the time and then read the article the radio ep was based on. Given the topic of this discussion, I thought it was extremely pertinent so I shared it. I have also, as a result of radio podcasts, learned about dodgy regulatory practices in Goldman Sachs, inner city school desegregation in America, and how recently eating raw salmon was taboo in Japan, and yet magically I am not a corrupt banker, a school administrator, Japanese, or a salmon.

gottaget, my post was in response to your comment that any man could have that, yes but, as per my reply, would you want someone who you know that to be a risk to come into your home with your children to interact with them? would you do it

I wouldn't invite a stranger into my home to interact with my children. The question has too many variables. The situation has never arisen and would depend on who it was, why they were invited and whether I was confident my children would be safe.

People on here are part of a ring?
Seriously??
I completely agree with you op.
I'm astonished that there is no proper help in the uk before they have committed a crime, what point is there then??
I feel a deep sympathy for people with these thoughts who have never acted on them, nor wish to.
It must be terrifying.
It's not like you can just go talk to your family or friends about it!
I watched a programme a while back about a bloke who set up a support group ( he was an abuse victim) for men who had these feeling but had never acted on them.
I thought he was a wonderful man.
What about the women though? What help do they get?

I also have no idea if the support group type activity would be gold standard treatment or anything like it, the point made in the article/radio show was that the boy in question literally couldn't access anything else and he felt it made a difference for him and the other group members.

If you found out a family friend was a peadophile but, oh sorry a well respected, professional peadophile because that makes it better, would you them joining you for christmas dinner?

Really gottatget? It was only earlier on in the thread that a poster described being abused by a man who delighted doing it in the same room as her parents, even whilst in conversation with them. When I was abused it was often a few metres away from adults

The difference being that persons parents were unaware the man was a danger?
The poster who invited a paedophile for dinner KNEW the risks.

This whole discussion has been staged by a paedophile ring in a blighted attempt to win over the hearts and minds of the mother of the babies and children they wish to abuse

what???

But is it a sexual orientation???? Surely those saying this can cite a few researches which prove this is the case?

scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=is+paedophilia+a+sexual+orientation&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart&sa=X&ved=0CB8QgQMwAGoVChMItqSOsOieyAIViMcUCh1k9Q8R

Of course the issue of whether it is a sexual orientation or not is much debated, and in no way settled.

Anyone remember that Brass Eye where a paedophile dresses up a school?

Is that you, ItsAllGoingToBeFine?

Oh right i see so she knows the risks, well how lovely that must make christmas.. prepare the sprouts, serve the turkey, oh wait must check barry isn't fondling the children?!

Hamiltoes are you threatening me?

I think you are exposing yourself very well.

I don't think it is comparable to a sexual orientation. It is more comparable to other sexual disordered attractions like necrophilia. The common thread being lack of consent.

On the other hand, waiting until someone is caught committing a crime and then punishing them is no way to address the issue. I don't think that we should normalise these feelings, but like violent impulses we should seek to enable it to be possible for people to get treatment before they hurt someone.

mysordid, exactly my sentiments! Tell me again why we are still responding to this thread?

You can feel free to wave your pitchforks at the respected American public radio programme This American Life while you're at it. Are they in a "ring"?

he may have sexual thoughts and fantasies about your children.. that ok?

I think he would tell you that isn't okay. I don't know what happens in other people's heads. There isn't a person alive whose thoughts I can read.

How do I make sure my children aren't being groomed by him? Same way as I make sure my children aren't being groomed by anybody else they come into contact with.

Corbyns, stop making me laugh.

Well usually the person who accuses others so much is the one deflecting attention away

Yes please tell me why