to think being a paedophile isn't a crime?

[KissingFish]

I see posts from people both on here and other places (Facebook) about how paedophiles should all be killed and confusing the terms paedophile and child molester / child abuser.

They're not the same thing and honestly I don't think being a paedophile is a crime. It is a sexual orientation that nobody chooses to be born with. The same way people are born straight or gay.

Just because someone is a paedophile it doesn't mean they have acted on it and so it doesn't mean they are a child molester.

Surely if we all accepted that paedophilia is a sexual orientation we could help these people before they commit a crime. Before they act on it. I bet there are a LOT more paedophiles out there than we know about. They just don't act on it because they know it's wrong to act on it.

I am of course not saying being sexually attracted to children is a good thing or that it should ever be OK to act on it. No way. Just that I don't think people choose to be a paedophile and it must be pretty scary to realise you are attracted to children. Much the same way it used to be about being gay. And I don't imagine you can just ask friends, family or many people actually for help and advice.

I think in order to deal with a problem you need to understand it first.

I am willing to be convinced otherwise though if anyone has a good argument?

Disclaimer: I am not a paedophile, I just don't believe they are all evil.

And it's, it can be very distressing for a victim of child sexual abuse to read you discussing such acts so casually. Maybe consider that.

I do not believe there is a sexual desire for children.

I do not believe there is a sexual desire for animals
.
I do not believe there is a sexual desire for dead people.

All the above is deviant behaviour. It has nothing whatsoever to do with healthy sexual appetites, all of which, are formed in puberty, het, bi and gay.

OfaFrenchMind (and others). Just to clarify - a paedophile who has never acted in any way on their sexual preference, has never viewed child abuse images should be punished in some way?

Whoops, should have RTFT and seen that others have put that more eloquently than me.

As with rape though it's not that act that is the most damaging thing it's the loss of power and control over what happens to you - you can't minimise that Children can NOT consent so you are making a choice for them and that's NOT ok

Sorry I missed out an often - it's often not the act it's self

I'm afraid I can't get on board with this idea that some paedophiles are really nice and just love children and don't want to see them get hurt.

I mean, what the ever loving FUCK?

I have not read the whole thread but this is the factual truth:
Paedophilia is not a crime.
Crimes are defined by statute. Having sexual activity with someone under sixteen is a crime.
Paedophilia is a psychiatric/psychological diagnosis/condition (or a deviant sexual orientation if you prefer).
A minority of sex offenders (even those who offend against children) are paedophiles.

yes just to clarify, they can seek chemical castration or fund some private therapy if they think that might work. Otherwise yes they are in danger of found out.

We dont know it is a 'he' let me amend that to he or she, but lets be frank the VAST majority of paedophiles are men, it is a statistic not my personal view.

Christ alive will people stop accusing ItsAllGoing of being a peodophile.

What's been an interesting discussion will no doubt be deleted shortly due to name calling.

Most people who abuse children were abused themselves as children

It's not at all like being gay...its a power based psychological disorder stemming from abuse in the perpetrators own past that has left them cruel and disturbed

Probably some people see this as they have enough insight ..and try to avoid acting on it. But it's completely wrong to say that it's an orientation you are born with

Did anyone actually read the (distressing) article linked upthread about the young guy trying to deal with his paedophile feelings (or listen to the less graphic This American Life ep about the same young man), rather than going on about how anyone who tries to understand how these people think is a paedophile (I personally thought the poster in question was trying to explain the thought processes involved, rather than minimizing the seriousness him/herself?), or loves paedophiles, or condones child abuse?

Both the article and radio programme discuss lots of the things talked about in this thread, including difference between a paedophile and an active child abuser, difference between an exclusive paedophile & someone who is also interested in adults, the deluded belief that a sexual relationship with a child could be mutually happy and normal, etc.- one of the things that caused the guy to seek help was seeing a video that was so obviously abusive that it shattered his delusion that "they would like it". Also how difficult it was to get help basically because he hasn't acted on his feelings - he tried to go to a therapist and she just said she couldn't treat him, so he has formed a support group with other young people, will not look at child abuse images anymore.

A very difficult read/listen but worthwhile, I think.

you didn't answer my questions

To be clear though most abused children do not become abusers - I hate the idea that we are all just loaded guns

Maryz I don't want to join your lovely pity party you had going. You can host one at your house with the pedos.

And if you read my posts you'd know I have offered up a long term solution.
Chemical castration. But of course you don't seem to want to take that on board why is that Maryz and it'sallfine?

Very true ghosty.

And of course most (all?) of the psychological harm is not caused by the acts themselves, but by what society thinks of these acts

I have heard this theory before, although I am not sure it was claimed in all cases.
I think it was about older children and not pre-pubescent children.

I read about Billy Connolly claiming his father sexually abused him. He said he felt shame because he enjoyed the physical contact and enjoyed the activity.
There must be many causes and reasons for child abuse. None of them can be condoned but they do need to be understood if we are to protect children.

child porn wouldn't be made in such large volumes without a demand for it. Therefore a peadophile doesn't need to physically abuse a child to commit a crime and perpetuate child abuse.

Throughthickandthin..

I dont think you have any idea whether itsallgoingtobefine is or isn't a paedophile but he/she is most definitely looking for sympathisers.

He/she is most definitely minimising the chronic pain of rape and suffering to a child. He/she does not feel the act of child abuse damages a child but it is society's view that damages the child...if that is not the view of a fully fledged paedophile I am not sure what is....

Maybe we will get a denial post any moment now, but I doubt it.

2 questions

1. Would more sympathy as a society for pedophiles help them to commit abuse and create more victims? - IMO YES.

IMO, not necessarily. And note that I am talking about paedophiles in strict terms, not child abusers. When you put people in a situation where there is no way out where they feel trapped, that is when people start to feel that they have nothing to lose, and that is not a healthy frame of mind.

It's also a bit like the whole (adult) rape thing that has been alluded to. The act of rape is all mixed up amongst " normal" sex - this is why we get all the "was I raped" MN threads, and why the conviction and reporting rate is so low. Rape needs to be seen as something discrete from sex. Hence why you get MNers angrily pointing out that all men are not rapists. To see all men as a potential risk massively muddies the waters and makes the issue with rape much harder to deal with.

In the same way mixing up paedophiles and child abusers makes child abuse so much harder too deal with. People are scared of paedophiles, the lone male at the play park, then bloke dragging kids into his white van. Paedophiles are despicable, non-human bogey men. Which is why parents forget to protect their kids from the babysitter or the favourite uncle, or why they don't believe their children when they say Grandpa has been touching them.

1. Is it viable/are there the resources to offer this wondeful help and treatment? - NO.

You could say the same for many many medical treatments. It doesn't mean we shouldnt try. Better to solve a problem for good, than put some away for them to reooffend again when they get out.