to think being a paedophile isn't a crime?

[KissingFish]

I see posts from people both on here and other places (Facebook) about how paedophiles should all be killed and confusing the terms paedophile and child molester / child abuser.

They're not the same thing and honestly I don't think being a paedophile is a crime. It is a sexual orientation that nobody chooses to be born with. The same way people are born straight or gay.

Just because someone is a paedophile it doesn't mean they have acted on it and so it doesn't mean they are a child molester.

Surely if we all accepted that paedophilia is a sexual orientation we could help these people before they commit a crime. Before they act on it. I bet there are a LOT more paedophiles out there than we know about. They just don't act on it because they know it's wrong to act on it.

I am of course not saying being sexually attracted to children is a good thing or that it should ever be OK to act on it. No way. Just that I don't think people choose to be a paedophile and it must be pretty scary to realise you are attracted to children. Much the same way it used to be about being gay. And I don't imagine you can just ask friends, family or many people actually for help and advice.

I think in order to deal with a problem you need to understand it first.

I am willing to be convinced otherwise though if anyone has a good argument?

Disclaimer: I am not a paedophile, I just don't believe they are all evil.

lilycabbagerocks I couldn't agree with you more.

Maryz, that is bang out of order!

Handle the argument in a sensible way.

Maryz

Chemical castration is the perfect solution. Mysordid has made it very clear this is a fantastic solution.

What is your view on that?

The discussion can be solved so easily. Killing all paedos would be the kindest thing we could do, putting them in a low security prison with relaxed supervision would be unkind.

Somewhere down the thread someone said it shouldn't be lumped in with mental health as then people might equate mentally ill people as being potential child abusers... I personally think its fine to view it (and that it should be viewed as) a mental illness requiring urgent treatment.

Mental illness is people experiencing awful intrusive and unwanted thought processes which often leaves them fearful they will commit crimes. I think there should be compassion and urgent treatment for anyone who seeks help to prevent themselves doing something terrible. People with mental illness doesn't equal people who commit crimes to most intelligent people's understanding of it, rather people suffering awful illness they need help to recover from

What i don't understand is all this lovely, airyfairy mystical talk of some magic therapy, is total nonsense. I can guess why chemical castration is not taken on board for preference of this, because it would just be a token gesture. It would make life a hell of a lot easier for them sure.

But this isn't Alcoholics anonymous we're talking about. It's not like Dave has a relapse on week and his health suffers as a result oh well try again Dave.

In this scenario a little "relapse" and oh dear dave you've created a lifelong victim who will suffer for a long time because of that little lapse of yours. Try again.

Yeah seems really viable, and all the while people suffering with post-natal or depression are put further back on the waiting list due to the surging demand of everyone who wants in on this therapy for pedophiles. Think about it.

have I said kill? No Maryz, check your comprehension please. Chemical castration is used in prisons across america and it has been trialed with success in removing and inhibiting sexual desires in rapists and child abusers.

MaryZ is not bang out of order, what a ridiculous thing to say

Sordids comments about her being a pedo sympathiser, and to have a pity party for pedos at her house is way more out of order.

Get off the thread if you don't like it. Stop derailing and name calling.

"He/she does not feel the act of child abuse damages a child but it is society's view that damages the child...if that is not the view of a fully fledged paedophile I am not sure what is...."

How the fuck did you get from a to be there? I know that many rape survivors have talked about society's view of rape and rape victims contributing to their suffering, feeling that it must have been their fault somehow, were they "asking for it", they are "damaged goods", etc.

And yes, as upthread, please stop calling other posters paedophiles. He/she has repeatedly referred to paedophile preferences as "abhorrent", or did you miss that in your desperate desire to paint him/her as one of NAMBLA?

and wants everyone to go and kill themselves.

are you seeing things Maryz?

In the same way mixing up paedophiles and child abusers makes child abuse so much harder too deal with. People are scared of paedophiles, the lone male at the play park, then bloke dragging kids into his white van. Paedophiles are despicable, non-human bogey men. Which is why parents forget to protect their kids from the babysitter or the favourite uncle, or why they don't believe their children when they say Grandpa has been touching them.

So why, if they are born as liking children sexually, do you only quote granddads, uncles. The babysitter? Please stop with these desperate stereotypes. There is no such thing as a paedophile. It's sexual deviancy. And it has all to do with self gratification, without thought of reciprocation.

Mary please, stop making up that i have mentioned killing. It's making me very sad for you.

I dont think you have any idea whether itsallgoingtobefine is or isn't a paedophile but he/she is most definitely looking for sympathisers

lilycabbagerocks I have heard the theories and statements that itsallgoingtobefine is posting, before from people who have studied paedophilia.
She/he is not alone in thinking that way. It is such a complex issue that there are many takes on it.
I don't think itallgoingtobefine is looking for sympathisers. She is just putting forward the theories she believes as we all are.

I agree with you op to an extent. It's not something as simple as a sexual preference though. I think that minimilises the seriousness of it. But I agree it's not a crime until they act upon it.

Chemical castration is not a solution you don't need a penis to a dude

Maryz had a point - this needs discussing sensibly rather than screaming but their cocks off and accusing people who attempt to understand of being paedophiles
Ray Wyre did a lot of very progressive work around treatment which is worth looking at

To a dude
To abuse !

Gottagetmoving at last a sensible post amongst all the hysterical posters.

So why, if they are born as liking children sexually, do you only quote granddads, uncles. The babysitter? Please stop with these desperate stereotypes

Apologies. I will simplify that part of the argument for you. People are so scared of paedophiles(which are other) that they forget that the main risk is from someone you know and trust (not other).

As a survivor of abuse and a woman who has worked with abused women and occasionally abusing children I totally agree Maryz

Ghost and Maryz et al.

Treatment for what though? Can we all agree that this is deviant behaviour?

That should be the starting point to a sensible discussion on how to start treatment and understanding.