My Brothers one night stand & baby..

[MumOfOne14]

So my DS was born being the youngest of 3 cousins, I had a rough labour & an even rougher time BFing. Had my family to support me & it was great... Then my Bros one night stand shows up with baby in arms. It's hard to make this short but here goes... I was selfishly looking forward to my time being fussed as a first time mum, my DS being fussed for being the baby & first boy of the family & then the other one came along. My brother still lives at home & wants nothing to do with mother & baby. I know it's not little baby's fault & I feel for her I really do, but now the mum has been adopted into the family. She lives down the road & I live an hour away & since her arrival I've had maybe two visits off my parents in about 4months. It's all been one sided where I've had to drive down there. They take her & the baby for days out everywhere & have them over the house at least 4 times a week. I know I may be being a total bitch, but I'm feeling so left out & I know if I say too much to my parents they will be mad, "cos the poor mum hasn't got much & is on her own". I'm feeling so isolated from my family & every time I do go to visit she is always always there! I can't remember the last time I had a quiet moment with my mum. AIBU and a jealous bitch?? Please correct me if I am!!

Would you feel confident ringing up and inviting yourself along or arranging to meet them there for coffee OP?

When you speak to your Mum, DON'T mention your DN and her Mum. Don't make it a comparison, as you will just sound jealous and competitive. Tell your Mum that you miss her loads, love spending time with her, have always appreciated her support and would love more time with her.

Also try to think hard about how your Mum may be feeling. There is no way she is as close to, or gets on as well with, DN's Mum as she does with you - nor ever will . She is clearly working very very hard to build a relationship with her, not only to compensate for your lousy DBro, but also she possibly feels insecure about whether DN will be permanent in her life unless she really builds that relationship. She probably sees you as very settled and secure, and doing very well - unlike DN's Mum who I would say is very insecure (hence the snide baby comparison comments - secure people don't feel the need to put others down, and the jealousy).

Try to get time with your Mum, and tell her how much you value time with her and want more time, but at the same time as telling her how you feel, don't forget to ask her how she's feeling.

Yeah I guess she is making up for my useless brother. I understand that she may feel she may lose them, but I just feel she's missing out on so much of my DS too. I think I'll just have to keep inviting her up here, because I can't get a min alone with her when I'm down there.