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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being PFB regarding pre-school situation?

94 replies

Wishful80smontage · 28/09/2015 15:11

Happy to be supported or told I'm completely overreacting here - I just need some detached responses please.
My dd is 2.5. She started at 2 preschools which I took her out of- first one- wasn't happy with environment- very small portacabin- she was youngest by far and outside area not good
Second one- inside was fine but outdoor area unsafe and not completely secure.
Visited 3 more- ruled one out as no outdoor space, another as the outdoor space was was in a back garden and didn't seem safe.
Leaves me one option locally everything fine regarding outdoor space- very secure and safe only issue is the toilets are down a corridor so children when toilet trained taje themselves off to the loo- Im worried this could be a potential accident hotspot- drowning risk, slipping on water etc
My dh thinks I'm utterly ridiculous he thinks I need to just pick one and get her settled as we have dc2 on way shortly.
I want her to be able to go preschool- she would love it but I'm unhappy with my only option- would you be concerned re:toilet situation or am I massively overthinking this?
Thanks

OP posts:
LadyLonely1 · 28/09/2015 15:13

Wont the staff accompany the kids to the toilet though?

teacher54321 · 28/09/2015 15:14

I think you may be overreacting slightly, how would they drown in the toilets?

hibbleddible · 28/09/2015 15:16

I'm also unsure how children would drown in the toilets.

Children slip all the time, I wouldn't worry about that.

Are you usually so anxious?

Theycallmemellowjello · 28/09/2015 15:18

Are you sure your 2.5 year old would be expected to go to the toilet on her own?

museumum · 28/09/2015 15:18

to be honest I would be very surprised if the four out of five that you have ruled out are actually as risky as you think. surely they'd be risk assessed and inspected? I've visited quite a few nurseries as we placed ds for two years then moved house and some i felt didn't have enough space for my outdoors loving ds and some had other things i didn't like but i didn't feel that any were unsafe. it sounds to me like you have quite a high sensitivity to risks.. have you talked to any of them about these risks and how they mitigate them?

Original poster
Wishful80smontage · 28/09/2015 15:20

When I went for visit the staff said 'they take themselves off to toilet' my DM also said to me that they would end up taking the kids as they'd need help to get tights/trousers up and down.
The drowning thing- I thought maybe if they filled the sinks and fell in or had their head held down by another child it could be within the realms of possibilities?! My dh thinks not.

OP posts:
SpaggyBollocks · 28/09/2015 15:25

how does a child fall in a sink? and you are concerned that the children might murder each other by drowning? I'm with your DH on this one.

MythicalKings · 28/09/2015 15:26

Over cautious, I think.

SmugairleRoin · 28/09/2015 15:28

YABU. It's natural to feel worried about your dd going off to preschool but I really think you are worrying too much and inventing problems that aren't too likely imo.

confusedandemployed · 28/09/2015 15:29

What museummum said. These places are inspected regularly so u can't see how they'd be unsafe in any way.

So I'm with your DH. I do think you're being PFB.

Original poster
Wishful80smontage · 28/09/2015 15:31

Lol when you put it like that spaggy it does sound a tad farfatched :)
Its just the main room doors are constantly open so dd could run off down the corridor and be in the toilets unnoticed for a potential time. They have staff in each of the main rooms and outdoor but there isn't a member of staff next to the toilets at all times.
I am going to take dd along for a session Tomo so I'll be able to see if the kids are running off to the loo ln their own hopefully it will settle my worries.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/09/2015 15:34

I doubt they have plugs in the sinks Wishful, too much flooding risk.

agnes54 · 28/09/2015 15:35

Your posts have made me laugh so much, YABsoU listen to your DH.

Atenco · 28/09/2015 15:35

You are definitely very risk averse, OP.

how does a child fall in a sink? and you are concerned that the children might murder each other by drowning? I'm with your DH on this oneGrin

Witchend · 28/09/2015 15:37

Are the sinks on the floor? I'm just trying to visualise how a child can fall in a sink.

YBR · 28/09/2015 15:38

Wishful that drowning thing is not realistic. Truly the likelihood of something significant happening is vanishingly small. All these nurseries will have been visited by ofsted, have risk assessments for everything, and be experienced at managing pre-schoolers in their setting.

Children do have lots of accidents, insignificant ones, and learning how to react to that is part of growing up. My 22mo completely overreacts when she slips up, but we don't fuss and she is learning to get back up and carry on. Which is how it should be.

Jackiebrambles · 28/09/2015 15:38

I imagine in pre school when kids go to the loo they are accompanied to be helped with wiping/reminded about hand washing etc.

My ds is in 2.7 and he's not left alone in nursery at all. There's always someone in the room supervising.

I think you are over worrying!

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 28/09/2015 15:43

Our pre school watched kids in the loo. Not for drowning though! More like decent wiping, not putting half a loo roll down, etc

I would be very surprised if outdoor areas were not secure as ofsted would have serious issues with that. I suspect that you have ruled out some perfectly lovely pre schools tbh

hibbleddible · 28/09/2015 15:44

Children drowning each other in the sink would never happen. I say this to reassure you! Falling into a full sink would also not be possible for a number of reasons (no plugs, sinks not on floor level).

Pre school is not a lord of the flies situation.

blackteaplease · 28/09/2015 15:45

Children take themselves to the toilet at our pre-school but the staff are always doing headcounts and will go look for a child if they are too long in the toilet. The sinks do not have any plugs and toilets are regularly checked for wet floors etc. Doors have to be open to facilitate access to the toilet and also to prevent little fingers being trapped.

You are being a but PFB. If you have concerns you could ask to see the risk assessment.

Spartans · 28/09/2015 15:49

No one outside the toilet at all times? Of course there isn't.

Pfb, Op, very pfb!

Psycobabble · 28/09/2015 15:50

Hmmm iv never been pfb with my dc ever but even I think 2.5 is a little young to be left to their own devices when needing the Toilet ( although I wouldn't have considered the possibility of drowning maybe slightly ott on that front !!!)

Ds was 3 when he started pre school and still very much needed help when going to the toilet and still had the odd accident to he also wouldn't have wiped properly or washed his hands of left alone either
Are you sure they don't help them ?

Boobz · 28/09/2015 15:50

This has to be my favourite PFB line of all time:

"I thought maybe if they filled the sinks and fell in or had their head held down by another child it could be within the realms of possibilities?!"

And I had my own moments, OP, but that really is a corker!

Spartans · 28/09/2015 15:59

The kids who struggle to get to the toilet will have someone with them. No one wants to be cleaning wee off the floor or changing kids clothes because they didn't get there in time.

It's unlikely all children go alone.

Still laughing about no staff on the toilet and children attempting to kill each other in the sinks. Sorry OP, I know you probably don't find it funny. But I remember having panic moments when picking a nursery.

Lurkedforever1 · 28/09/2015 16:02

Another Yabu here. And another one snorting at the levitating 2 yr olds falling in sinks and murderous toddlers drowning each other.