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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

12 yo DN and makeup

113 replies

StillFrankie · 28/09/2015 11:49

Maybe I'm just getting old but I feel uncomfortable with the amount of makeup DNeice is wearing and how much she (or her mum) are spending on it (SIL doesn't wear any makeup, never has, so its all on DNeice).

DNeice has not long turned 12.

She wears a lot of makeup, she wears it well, but its still clear she's wearing makeup iykwim.

She was talking to me about brands. She uses MAC, Urban Decay, Benefit, Zoella stuff etc.

She also gets HD Brows, wear fake lashes, has french tips, GHDs, Babyliss curler thingie, wants a tongue piercing, uses teeth whitening gel.

AIBU to think this is too much at her age? Maybe as I said above, I'm just getting old and things have changed. I think at that age I just wore a bit of Rimmel concealor although I did get my eyebrows waxed every so often.

My own DD is only 7 and I'm already worrying about her 'keeping up' with her peers - eg she wants her ears pierced and I am refusing until high school, but 'all her friends' have it done so I feel like a bad mum. So this high school stuff with my DNeice really makes me worry!

OP posts:
TeaPleaseLouise · 28/09/2015 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vdbfamily · 28/09/2015 13:33

my 12 year old daughter started wearing make up at secondary school. I checked the uniform policy hoping there would be a ban but 'subtle make-up' is fine at all our local secondary schools. She also has quite bad acne so has to buy decent quality foundation to not further inflaame her skin. She went all summer hols with no make up to see if skin would improve but made no difference so I just let her do it now. I never wear any make up at all.

IPokeBadgers · 28/09/2015 13:49

Constance Carroll! Now there is a blast from the past.

I remember [in Primary school] being the proud owner of a light pink/dark pink/pale blue/dark blue CC eye-shadow quartet , purchased from the local 50p shop.

Unfortunately only two looks were possible with that particular colour combo: conjunctivitis or clown.

Ah sweet memories! Grin

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 28/09/2015 13:51

DD thinks its hilarious I used to buy Constance Carroll and Miners from an indoor market! Kids today really are missing out!

charlestonchaplin · 28/09/2015 13:54

Notso
Great point Theycallmemellowjello there are lads in DD's year with beards. Big, bushy, manly beards. Nobody bats an eyelid.

Maybe they bought the beards in Superdrug, or maybe they've been injecting themselves with something in order to induce 'big, bushy, manly beards'. Your analogy is way off. Their beards are just a natural manifestation of them growing up, like periods or breasts. They cannot be compared to make-up.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/09/2015 13:55

I remember [in Primary school] being the proud owner of a light pink/dark pink/pale blue/dark blue CC eye-shadow quartet , purchased from the local 50p shop

we used to have a market stall with baskets full of the cheap crappy make up Grin

Unfortunately only two looks were possible with that particular colour combo: conjunctivitis or clown

ha ha ha yes that's exactly it!!!

I remnber half the kids at school being a shade of orange that "he loves his kids" would be envious of.

wigglesrock · 28/09/2015 14:06

My 10 year old likes to wear a bit of make up sometimes, she doesn't really wear it out, she likes to practise, she's also annoyingly good at it - she watches tutorials - she does the same with her hair. Funny enough she's going tomorrow to get her hair cut much shorter - long hair is "so old".

I remember my sister doing the same - without YouTube. She used to watch my mum, my aunts, my Nana do their make up, then copy it. She eventually got wise and ditched my Nana as the model - vey red lips and rouge look good on neither man nor beast.
My daughter likes to paint her nails, she is learning how to do shapes, designs on them. She wears none of it to school.

The HD eyebrows - I don't like HDs on anyone of any age, my sister also took my dads razor at the age of 11 and shaved off her eyebrows - sometimes knowledge is a good thing Smile. I wouldn't have any issue with the straightners or curlers either. I used to wet my hair and plait it very tightly to sleep in to try and give it the Madonna Get into the Groove look.

Notso · 28/09/2015 14:13

While I agree it not the best analogy I don't think it is way off charlestonchaplin most teens try at some point change their appearances to fit in with a trend. The latest hairstyle, make up, clothes, shaving your legs, not shaving your chin.
These boys are not shaving because beards are fashionable at the moment, the girls are waxing their eyebrows and drawing them back on because that look is in.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 28/09/2015 15:18

This reply has been deleted

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RB68 · 28/09/2015 15:51

DD is 10 and is a complete make up junkie - she and her bestie have face offs on facetime where they agree a make up look, then away from camera both do it and come back to camera and compare - goes from classic to halloween - can be hysterical. I told her I don't have a problem with it if she cleans it off properly and tidies up after herself. I tell her she doesn't need it but she likes to wear a little bit at weekends but its a big no to school and anything related e.g when we were doing secondary school visits its not appropriate. I really don't mind as she is playing and learning and getting v good. I would be showing her how if it didn't look good or she looked like she had been tangoed etc. As to hair things damaging your hair - well it grows out doesn't it - and they learn...

ilovesooty · 28/09/2015 17:01

The fact is that it's your niece - it isn't really any of your business. I doubt her mother will be appreciative if you say anything.

kali110 · 28/09/2015 17:03

I was only allowed foundation and lip balm to school( i had terrible skin) .
I think it's better to have good brands (if she has bad skin) so it doesnt clog it up.
I have always loved makeup. I had some eyeshadow around that age but was only allowed to wear it with my parents and not to school.
I only wore eyeliner to school at 15!

BabyGanoush · 28/09/2015 17:09

Where I live (Hampshire) this "done" look just isn't seen much, on adults or kids. DS in y8, girls all quite natural looking.

Is it an Essex thing? A Northern thing? A class thing??? I just don't see it here.

CrabbyPatties · 28/09/2015 17:12

My DD is 12, I don't have a problem with her liking make up as I did at that age and luckily she's pretty subtle about wearing it.
What does annoy me is how snobby her friends are about expensive brands! Most of them have got at LEAST one Urban Decay eyeshadow palette, plus benefit mascaras etc! I treated my DD to a few Rimmel bits, which she was thrilled with until her friends told her that any make up less than £15 was crap Hmm. I refuse to keep up with children's materialism

Original poster
StillFrankie · 28/09/2015 17:19

OP here, feel the need to clear some things up.

Its not wearing makeup that is my issue, its the amount of makeup/beauty products used and the cost of them. what's wrong with a few drugstore products?

Also, nowhere did I say it meant the girl was less intelligent or slutty or anything like that Hmm Shock

OP posts:
TheLambShankRedemption · 28/09/2015 17:30

My local make up factory in the late 80s would come and collect the chicken fat from the rotisserie chicken oven at the deli I worked in as a Saturday girl. When we cleaned the oven, we had to place the fat it into large blue vats ready for collection.

Put me off make up for quite some time.

BeeRayKay · 28/09/2015 17:30

TBH, I'd never let my girls wear anything other than Mac/Benefit/Estee Lauder, just because I know with me, at 26, anything other than top end brands clogs my skin/falls off/breaks me out/runs out quickly.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/09/2015 17:44

But cheap make up is shit why wouldn't you go fir a more expensive brand where less is needed and you can match better and avoid the caked on look?

00100001 · 28/09/2015 18:04

because when you're 12, what need do you have for make up??

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 28/09/2015 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/09/2015 18:09

What need do you have for many things.

being 12 doesn't mean that you forgo decent quality stuff when it's going to be put onto your skin. and as long as they aren't sponging for money then what they spend it on is up to them. Dds make up in future won't be cheap. and frankly even if I didn't have eczema and allergies to worry about I'd still not buy cheap shit on the basis of her age.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 28/09/2015 18:10

She has a point though. No twelve year old needs the face paint. It's just something to play with, it doesn't have to be expensive. Any child that thinks they need the stuff has bigger issues than not having the money for expensive slap.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/09/2015 18:14

But she's not playing with it. she's actually wearing it. so stands to reason it needs to be fit for purpose which teh cheap stuff isn't.

00100001 · 28/09/2015 19:25

Most people wear it, I guess because of societal pressure (you wear it too "look good"/ to make you lookmore attractive etc)

Why does a 12 year old need to worry about looking their best? Or indeed to look more attractive?

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/09/2015 19:29

Why is the asumption it's about looking attractive

for a kid it could well just he trying to look like people they admire their mum or other family member. their favourite singer.or because they want to be a Hollywood make up artist when they grow up.

or she just wants to be a "girly girl".

or she's copying other kids her age and next year it will be something else.

the whole looking attractive thing is placing adult ideas onto child.

I don't wear make up to look attractive. I wear it to not look like shit. there's a difference Grin