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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kate Middleton

573 replies

WILKO9 · 27/09/2015 13:13

AIBU to find Kate Middleton really annoying ? It's probably just me but I find her so smug. Anyway feel much better for getting that off my chest !!!

OP posts:
harshbuttrue1980 · 28/09/2015 17:55

I don't like what I've seen of Kate. She seems to be utterly idle. There's nothing with focusing on being a wife and mother - but in that case, why does she have a full-time, live in nanny??

I would have more respect for her if she either:

  1. Gave up the nanny and was a full-time mum (maybe using the nanny on the couple of engagements a month she does), or
  2. Kept the full-time nanny and became a full-time working royal, fulfilling charitable engagements on the days when she has the nanny.

As far as I can see, she doesn't do much mothering OR working. Does anyone on here really believe that she does nappies and nightfeeds?? She'll pack the children off to boarding school soon, and STILL claim that she can't work as she's a full-time mother, despite only seeing them in the school holidays.

featherandblack · 28/09/2015 18:00

There are plenty of well-heeled mothers in Britain who don't work and who have a nanny. Not a crime. She may well work more days than two a month - there could be meetings etc. and private charity work also.

featherandblack · 28/09/2015 18:02

I have two children and could easily use a nanny and still be hands-on all day. And that's not using the nanny for housework.

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 28/09/2015 18:03

How said that it will never see the light of our tv screens!

Shock

What, you assume I don't currently grace your set? Well, now I am hurt. Sad Sad Sad

Ta1kinPeace · 28/09/2015 18:04

harshbut
became a full-time working royal, fulfilling charitable engagements
Most people work 200 days a year (allowing for weekends and bank holidays and paid leave)

The Duchess of Cambridge does a couple of hundred official engagements a year : each of which involves travel, planning, logistics, homework

How many do you think she should do?

pinkfrocks · 28/09/2015 18:09

She may well do more work than we are aware of. And it's only 5 months since she had a baby. Many members of the RF do 'undercover' charity work and we have only found out afterwards.

It's unrealistic to have a nanny parachuted in just as and when needed. The RF has engagements allocated years in advance, which includes overseas trips. We aren't party to this information. I am sure that W&K want someone they know well and who knows their children well and who becomes 'one of the family' for when she is needed, rather than a babysitter who is parachuted in as and when required, if they have long haul trips or have to stand in for the Queen or anyone else in the RF at short notice.

I get tired of people thinking the RF are some kind of slbe act- having to be seen all the time. They perform duties and help raise the profile of certain causes etc but they are also entitled to a family life of their own.

merrymouse · 28/09/2015 18:10

Yes. Rich people have staff because they can afford it and there are no prizes for being a martyr.

Also, whatever the ins and outs of your day to day child care requirements, if you want confidentiality and security you need a full time nanny, not casual babysitters.

featherandblack · 28/09/2015 18:17

It's also pretty unfair to a child to use a succession of babysitters when they could enjoy the stability of a nanny.

harshbuttrue1980 · 28/09/2015 18:36

In 2014, she attended 76 engagements, according to the Times. That is not a substantial number. Many of these are not full days either, and some are jollies like watching sports matches. Surely her parents or sister could help out? Also, I see a huge difference between a full-time mum hiring a nanny for a couple of days a week compared to having one living in. Surely she doesn't need someone living in for so few engagements?? Or if she's got a full-time nanny, what's stopping her from doing more engagements?

Also, to the poster who said it isn't a crime...no, its not, lots of mums are more interested in hair and shopping than their kids. However, the royals are in a unique position in having to win the hearts of the public, otherwise there won't be a monarchy to pass down to George. They are propped up by the taxpayer, and should give good value for money.

Many of the royals do far more engagements than Kate or William. The Queen and Princess Anne are good value for money to me, but Kate and William aren't. She's pretty and he's handsome, but that isn't enough for me to want them as the future heads of state.

harshbuttrue1980 · 28/09/2015 18:38

Talkinpeace, sorry, I forgot to answer your question. I think she should do an engagement for every day that she has the nanny. She should spend her days either bringing up her children or working, like the rest of us. Or else give up the perks, palaces and curtseys and she can then do exactly as she likes and I wouldn't care less.

pinkfrocks · 28/09/2015 18:41

That's 1 engagement a week or almost 1.5, if you crunch the numbers.
In 2014 she was pregnant for 5 months (baby arrived in April) and very ill for many months so that probably means she was fit for duty for 7 months in 2014- which means roughly 10 engagements a month- maybe 2 or 3 a week.
Given she had a baby a year old then, I 'd say that seems reasonable.

Can we not accept that she probably doesn't have full control over where she goes?

The palace are most likely limiting her exposure due to what happened to Diana .

pinkfrocks · 28/09/2015 18:43

but that isn't enough for me to want them as the future heads of state

Unless you organise and win a revolution you have no choice.

I think some posters think the RF are like politicians - voted in and voted out. Or having to win our hearts and minds to retain their position. It doesn't work like that.

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 28/09/2015 18:58

Can everyone put their hand up who wouldn't have republican sympathies if Princess Anne was next in line?

Ta1kinPeace · 28/09/2015 19:05

harshbut
She should spend her days either bringing up her children or working, like the rest of us.

If she was just rich and not royal she would still have all of the staff and still spend as little time with her kids, just more time having lunch with friends

Dejah
Anne is not the answer : her husband is an odd sort
but Charles is certainly NOT the answer

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 28/09/2015 19:11

I don't know anything about Anne's current husband.

While I'm totalling up our ratios of conditional royalists to constant republicans, can you tell me what I should know?

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 28/09/2015 19:18

Just saw this: Surely her parents or sister could help out?

With the childcare, I presume? Seems a bit much to expect the grandparents to do it, esp during their business hours. Never mind only one of her siblings, come to think of it. Why not her brother? But maybe Charles and Camilla could do it, eh?

merrymouse · 28/09/2015 19:29

Many people have full time nannies and also spend most of their time with their children - having an extra pair of hands makes things easier. It may seem unfair that some people get to spend loads of time with their children and don't have to breastfeed while entertaining a screaming toddler, but that's life.

Equally, she may just keep the nanny on retainer and just use her when necessary.

Complain that they cost too much and are anachronistic, but expecting them to justify their childcare arrangements is silly, particularly when the issues of security and media intrusion are so unique.

Pennybun4 · 28/09/2015 19:42

Dejah, I would be happy with Anne or the Wessex's.

Now there's a thought, Sophie Wessex. Elegant and not pushy. What's not to like.

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 28/09/2015 19:48

Sophie? Got taken in by journalists, constantly accused of exploiting her royal connections.

No-one could say she'd not tried a career though. She was forced to give up on her previously successful PR business because of tabloid intrusion.

Cloudcuckoo50 · 28/09/2015 19:54

However Kate conducts her life I am quite sure that she will have many critics. It must be like walking on eggshells!
There are undoubtably many advantages, luxuries and privileges that come with living a royal life. However, I am sure the downsides are difficult to deal with: the main ones being loss of privacy and freedom....for the rest of your life.
Poor woman is probably paranoid about doing something wrong and having it splashed over the newspapers the next day. Cases in point: Fergie, Diana, Camilla, Sophie Wessex etc.
Quite enough to stifle anybody's public personality!
I think they seem genuinely happy together and make great role models for our country - Kate's swooshy hair an'all!

Imustgodowntotheseaagain · 28/09/2015 19:57

Why the shitty tone, NorthernLurker? The Court Circular is the official record of what the royals do. It seemed a sensible place to look for recent activity by the Duchess.

TheIncomparableDejahThoris · 28/09/2015 20:00

God, I'm having flashbacks now of the way the press used to go after Sophie in the first couple of years after the marriage.

It was like the public took her existence as a personal insult after they'd settled into a routine of years of prurient whispering about Edward.

featherandblack · 28/09/2015 20:36

It doesn't matter what we think, at the end of the day. She is completely protected from knowing or caring about our opinions and she would still be the future queen if she was absolutely vile. There wouldn't be a thing we could do about it.

AGreatBigWorld · 28/09/2015 20:37

Dont know anything about Kate but can say hand on heart that Sophie is lovely ds2 has met her several times in connection with his college and she was wonderful!

backinthebox · 28/09/2015 20:57

Surely her parents or sister could help out?

Not going to say where I've seen them, but let's just say that George is having normal days out with his nana, just like other children do. When his nana isn't working hard, that is. And I've seen that too! And they all slow down for horses, which is handy when they drive past me when I'm on the horse and that makes them OK in my book.

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