To dislike "Radical Feminism"

[InternetPerson]

I've got nothing against feminists that fight for womens rights and genuinely want the best the best for everyone and don't hate anyone, but "RadFems" tend to be full of bitterness and hatred. And I'm not just talking about kids, these are high profile, intelligent women with power and influence. Do you think it's unreasonable to dislike something where most people think men are inherantly evil and to be feared? Or do you think their hatred is fair and we should respect them for their good work in trying to make humans hate eath other even more?

Like, I said, I have nothing against Feminism, it's done a lot of great work down the years and still does, but "Rad Fem" and "Feminism" are too completly different things in my opinion. Is this a wrong conclusion?

AIBU?

You don't have to agree with it Lass or take it seriously if you don't want to. I'm not the thought police. But it is nowhere near implying women should leave baby boys to die or in anyway comparable to what men are doing to women and girls right now.

What is there to debate about male violence?

You misquote or misunderstand what Julie Bindel said.

I don't think men can generally get away with abusive or bigoted language, that is usually a case for deletion here, and in most other places.

However, I do think women are criticised for assertive language (maybe not here, but elsewhere) that would be seen as okay if it had been used by a man. I can think of occasions, both online and in real life, when I have been accused of being hysterical, or unladylike, or getting above myself. Men using similar language in a similar way have not been criticised for it, because it is seen as natural that men will be more direct and assertive. Women are expected to be more passive, polite and accommodating.

'I am saying that on MN and other websites, no one knows your gender and all comments are treated equally. If anyone crosses a line, it gets called out and deleted.'

I agree it's meant to work gender-neutrally. But as an aside, it's very rarely true that nobody knows your gender. Most of the time you know you're talking to women, and male trolls are very often spotted within a sentence or two.

*Pontipines, that quote is talking about getting MEN to nurture the male babies, not leaving them to starve:

'Males will die without the constant infusion of female energy that they get from our wombs and from our lives. They are perfectly welcome to take the male infants from the hands of the midwife, and what they do with it from that point is their decision. '

So you're suggesting that it's always womens' job to nurture babies, and to allow men to do it is abuse?*

Perhaps it is taken out of context- as it stands it is a convincing reason for me not to be associated with radical feminism.

If it's simply suggesting child rearing should not be exclusively a female concern why refer to "male infants " and "males" dying?

"I haven't seen many debates on male violence - yet I've seen loads of debates on trans women."

I've seen debates on here about male violence. Generally, some MRA will turn up, spout 'what about the menz', and the discussion is derailed.

what is there to debate on male violence?

there are plenty of threads about male violence

Some issues around trans women yes certain topics are being debated at the moment, mainly trans women being allowed access to women only spaces

I for one can not get my head around someone telling me what I should consider acceptable to feel safe when I am saying it is only with other biological women who have shared similar experiences to me in life because they were born female that I want certain spaces to be girl/women only. As I have always been female I know the message I have heard it all my life be quiet, don't speak up to loudly and put others first. Its hard to really get if you have not lived it

Or you get a GF man start an OP because he's bored ....

but not as a woman

its conditioned from a child it is part of our culture we shout we are shouted down we get upset we are hysterical we repeat and get louder we are aggressive and unhinged

Ego, I believe you have, I don't have your lived experience, but I'm not going to deny what you say.

It is very frustrating to have for anyone to have their opinions and experiences dismissed simply because of who they are.

Sorry about the repetition there, trying to do two things at once

I find it very interesting (but sadly no longer surprising) that people can get really angry about a radical woman writing stuff about women not being obliged to nurture male babies (note that quote doesn't actually advocate harm to them, unless there's more of it that hasn't been posted?) while forgetting that in the world right now there will be female babies being killed because they are female

I'm not angry about that quote - more utterly bemused by it or the idea that it, and the part about being forced to carry male babies, is in any way helpful at all.

And as Pontipines pointed out the second part of your comment is rather implying one can't deal with 2 issues at the same time.

I have not said it does not condition you or that it is not harmful just it is different

I bleed I am dirty, if I do not bleed I am not a real woman, I am born a sinner, I have been sexualised from a young girl, its is the women and girls who the families honour is judged on this is the message girls and women get all the time around the world

50% of the population are women I am not sure how many are trans. The impact of silencing half the population for so long has formed the society we live in now

Could lead someone to wonder whether a) you've heard feminists respond to whataboutery with the defence that people can think about more than one issue, and so it's a jolly wheeze to throw that one back; or b) you appear to think that women writing theory and people killing female babies are both harmful things that need to be dealt with

Well Buffy a ) is a frequent response as you say so why using it should be a " jolly wheeze to throw" is odd. Sorry is it only you who is allowed to do it ? It seemed entirely appropriate. You seemed to be suggesting any criticism of, that frankly ridiculous statement, is invalid as there are more important things to care about. As you frequently say it's possible to care about 2 things at the same time. The fact I think that quote is extreme and silly does not mean, as you seem to be implying, that I don't think the killing of female people is not a concern.

As for your interpretation b) no idea how you came to that conclusion unless you think commenting on a piece of writing by a woman which struck me as silly and divisive and far more likely to be damaging to any notion of treating equality for women seriously should not be allowed.

So far as your penultimate paragraph it's up to you what you make of that statement about male babies- you can put whatever interpretation you want on it.

When a transwomen is not passive, polite and accommodating, they get told it's their male privilege.

No this is said when MTTs are domineering, entitled and suck up all the air in a conversation. There is a way of expressing oneself which is neither passive nor domineering.