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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bridezilla strikes again!

125 replies

Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 11:47

Right so my friend is getting married on Saturday.

She asked would I stay over on the Friday night before the wedding and I told her I couldn't as I have 3 kiddies to sort out and the minders are not taking them until 11 Sat morning.

Anyway I got a smart text from her saying "I'm not being smart but the whole point of a bridesmaid is to help the bride out. I'm going to be up to my eyes and will need help with the kids".

I'm flabbergasted. Is she wrong?

OP posts:

bendybootpumpkinpatch · 25/09/2015 10:39

Why be her bridesmaid after all that? just pull out!

CrapBag · 25/09/2015 10:40

She sounds dreadful.

Would you pull out of the wedding? It sounds like this 'friendship' is done anyway so what would you have to loose. She'll probably be a nightmare on the actual day and be incredibly demanding of you throughout the day and quite possibly expecting you to look after her children.

Original poster

Daffy10 · 25/09/2015 11:02

Part of me pitied her cos hse has no sisters and she has fallen out with her mom years ago. TBH though I think she just picked me cos I picked her.

Its the day before the wedding, I should be really excited to be bridesmaid. Texting her telling her there is only one day left as a single woman etc but I just can't bring myself to be fake but don't want to prove her right and be a crap bridesmaid either?

OP posts:

WhatchaMaCalllit · 25/09/2015 11:05

How many other bridesmaids does she have apart from you and the Maid/matron of honor?

regenerationfez · 25/09/2015 11:09

The day before the wedding would be harsh. I'd not be nasty but not go out of your way by texting etc. Just be firm and tell her that you will arrive at her house ready at this time, endure the wedding, leave early if its too awful- she probably won't even notice then cut contact. If she doesn't want you to be bridesmaid then wish her well and have the weekend to yourself!

regenerationfez · 25/09/2015 11:11

And I don't have any sisters. I don't need to be felt sorry for!mSounds like she'd be a terrible sister anyway!

VimFuego101 · 25/09/2015 11:15

I agree with regenerationfez. Show up early in the morning, do your duty and then let her be the one to get in touch with you she won't. And then come straight back to this thread to tell us all how it went

Original poster

Daffy10 · 25/09/2015 11:21

I'll have to not drink much cos when I got a few I'm known to become a bit mouthy lol

OP posts:

Spilose · 25/09/2015 11:40

I don't think she is being entirely unreasonable. She wasn't unreasonable to ask and from her response id just assume she's stressed and not take it personally in this case.

specialsubject · 25/09/2015 11:43

staggered you even offered to be bridesmaid!

as you aren't bothered about losing her friendship (and I can see why) ring her up and tell her what you can and can't do. If she throws a strop, wish her all the best and tell her you are dropping out.

Going to be nice weather on Saturday, better things to do than be at a wedding!

lunar1 · 25/09/2015 12:11

I'll be honest without all the backstory I'd think you should be getting there earlier. With the backstory I've no idea why you agreed to it. I think you have to suck it up this close to the wedding though. Send her a nice text and bite your tongue tomorrow. Then decide what to do about the friendship after the wedding.

Original poster

Daffy10 · 25/09/2015 12:27

I'm am so dreading it, I think me and my DH are going to get the cold shoulder.

OP posts:

Thelastthneed44 · 25/09/2015 12:40

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'm not expecting my bridesmaids to wait on me...I'm just going to have fun with them on the morning of the wedding...maybe I'm missing something...

Original poster

Daffy10 · 25/09/2015 12:51

I thought that too thelastneed but then again I though alot of things that didn't happen regarding being a bridesmaid. Going out pucking dresses etc(she picked them without us)

OP posts:

notamum3210 · 25/09/2015 13:20

I think she's definitely being unreasonable

Jux · 25/09/2015 14:02

You are definitely just accessories!

Hissy · 25/09/2015 16:24

Its the day before the wedding, I should be really excited to be bridesmaid. Texting her telling her there is only one day left as a single woman etc

Oh I think she sounds like her single days may only be temporarily suspended...

It's her wedding, her kids, her responsibility.

just smile and wave. Ignore her text.

Then drop her like a burning sack of crap after the wedding.

Hissy · 25/09/2015 16:25

If you get the cold shoulder, just leave. You owe her nothing.

LindyHemming · 25/09/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMoo22 · 25/09/2015 19:04

I would have played her at her own game. 'Oh of course we'd love to stay over, the kids would love the excitement of it all, I can picture all 6 of them now, up to all hours with excitement' I'm sure she wouldn't have been long in changing her need of you when she was presented with the option of 3 more kids. She would probably have told you it was ok if you stayed home.

MrsCorbyn · 26/09/2015 11:55

You don't sound like you like her very much which is sad as you are her bridesmaid.

I don't think she is unreasonable at all to expect her BM/MoH to be there to help her get ready. Don't the kids have a father who can get them ready?

MyFavouriteClintonisGeorge · 26/09/2015 12:45

I don't see the problem. Kids have easy treat for breakfast like chocolate brioche, then a DVD to watch, bride has shower, does hair and make up. Dress on at last minute once OP and/or MOH have arrived.

beaucoupdemojo · 26/09/2015 13:28

There's nothing wrong with her initially asking but plenty wrong with her attotude since.

I would drop out - show her the same level of courtesy that she has shown you.

If you act like a doormat (and you have tbh) then people will walk all over you

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 26/09/2015 13:33

Wedding is today?

Does the radio silence mean that OP is still on Bridesmaid duty?

I'm quite interested to hear how today will go

Twickerhun · 26/09/2015 15:43

Oh, update would be good! How did you get on OP?
I got married 2 years ago and really missed a trick or three! We asked for no presents, had no money poem. My hen do only lasted an evening and my singular bridesmaid helped me get in the dress before the wedding and fed me champagne as we got ready. If only I had known that I could have had a 48 hour personal slave and all the rest...

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