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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bridezilla strikes again!

125 replies

Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 11:47

Right so my friend is getting married on Saturday.

She asked would I stay over on the Friday night before the wedding and I told her I couldn't as I have 3 kiddies to sort out and the minders are not taking them until 11 Sat morning.

Anyway I got a smart text from her saying "I'm not being smart but the whole point of a bridesmaid is to help the bride out. I'm going to be up to my eyes and will need help with the kids".

I'm flabbergasted. Is she wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 12:33

Oaskmaiden so look after 6 kids the night before the wedding?? That's not going to work.

Glasgowlass, this girls name begins with J too OMG!

I am not her MOH but I did take over the organising of the hens as the MOH wasn't bothering.

She isn't getting anyone in to do make up etc cos she is doing her own so the only reason she wants me there is to organise her children.

OP posts:
LockedBox · 24/09/2015 12:35

What time is the ceremony?

Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 12:37

I'm over reacting crapbag(great name BTW) how so, I haven't reacted yet?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 24/09/2015 12:39

anything involving over night stays or childcare should have been organised and discussed ages ago.

agree with PP that whatever isn't done by now isn't going to get done.

glasgowlass · 24/09/2015 12:40

Grin ha! Is she near Glasgow? If so, it has to be same girl....also, if it's her, good luck Daffy.....she's hard work!

regenerationfez · 24/09/2015 12:42

I've been a bridesmaid so many times I can't even remember. I've never had to help out the night before the wedding. Can't her mum\ mil help with her kids? She wants you to pay for overnight childcare just so she can have free childcare all day! When are you going to get ready?

margeys · 24/09/2015 12:44

I wouldn't have expected to be there the night before. I would have expected to be there early in the morning. Your duties usually include calming down the bride if she is nervous, helping her into her dress, saying how beautiful she is, and getting ready yourself.

Jux · 24/09/2015 12:47

So you're not even MoH?

Then I think your role is to look less beautiful than the bride and to walk a regulation number of steps behind her to ensure all the guests and lookers on outside the church know who is the most important one there. Surely that's it?

Jux · 24/09/2015 12:49

I do hope she is the same as Glasgowlass' bridezilla! That would be fun. You could swap secrets about her and each whisper them to her at unexpected momemts.

Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 12:51

THe funniest thing about the whole situation is she was my bridesmaid and did sweet FA

OP posts:
MrsMook · 24/09/2015 12:51

She is being unreasonable to ask at this stage. It should have been sorted out ages ago.

DH and I were BM and BM with a young toddler. DH had him overnight as the bridal party had much more to sort with hair and makeup on the day.

Surely with it being her wedding, she has family who can support with the children. Asking someone else to undo their own childcare arrangements at the last moment is daft.

Stokes · 24/09/2015 12:52

I would've thought it was completely normal and expected for the BMs to be with the bride from early in the morning. To get ready together, help calm her down if she's nervous, shepherd family (so, yes, help look after her kids so she doesn't spend the morning of her wedding chasing after them and getting stressed etc), all those things. Plus, to just have a nice few hours together rather than her being alone. You should try get there long before 11 if you can, IMO. Or SOMEONE should, anyway.

Spartans · 24/09/2015 12:52

As a bridesmaid I would have fully expected to be there early the day of the wedding. Probably not the night before, though.

Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 12:55

I will be there early in the day once someone takes my children.

I mean I would love to stay over the Friday night and not have the bother of the kids but the reality is my commitment as a mother out weighs my commitments as a bridesmaid. Her MOH is staying over anyway.

I offered to go up to her Friday not and have a few drinks and organise a few things and she text back she will be in bed by 10, so I took that as a no.

OP posts:
RaspberryOverload · 24/09/2015 13:10

If the MOH is staying over, what did she need you for?

blackteaplease · 24/09/2015 13:13

11am is not that early in the day, what time is the wedding?

I think she is being a bit Bridezilla about the staying over but not at all about expecting you to help out. It is part of the Bridesmaids role. Mine helped me with getting dressed, make up and hair, sorted lunch and fielded phone calls. I did the same for her.

When she was your bm and did nothing, did you actually giver her jobs/ ask her to do stuff?

Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 13:13

Exactly RaspberryOverload.

I think it is cos I have experience with kids cos I have kids and MOH doesn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 13:15

I'll try and get there for 10. She doesn't have anyone organising make up or anything so I have to get that done as well before I get there.

No I didn't give her jobs because she had absolutely no interest so I didn't bother. THat's why I think its abit rich coming from her.

OP posts:
Wolpertinger · 24/09/2015 13:24

What actual help does a bride need?

My bridesmaids were age 2-4 and we managed perfectly well.

Rafflesway · 24/09/2015 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 13:25

I'm not sure Wolptinger, I think she just wants a babysitter!

OP posts:
Rafflesway · 24/09/2015 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackeyedSusan · 24/09/2015 13:40

eh? when did this bridesmaids staying over start?

Original poster
Daffy10 · 24/09/2015 13:45

My thoughts exactly Susan

OP posts:
Pedestriana · 24/09/2015 13:50

Presumably your friend is an adult and not a four-year-old? If anyone should be doing staying over etc. out of the wedding party, for want of a better word, it should be the MOH.

Given that you have children and so does the bride, then she should be fully aware of the logistics of childcare. A failure to plan on her part does not constitute an emergency on yours.

If she'd wanted a childminder, its something she should have organised. Maybe she can book someone to come and do her make up? You could, if you wanted to be kind, offer to chase up/confirm flowers, cars, etc. in the morning - which you could do from home.