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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who was BU here - traffic incident

235 replies

JuanPotatoTwo · 24/09/2015 09:37

www.maidenhead-advertiser.co.uk/News/Areas/Maidenhead/Video-captures-railway-bridge-stand-off-between-two-drivers-which-held-up-traffic-for-more-than-30-minutes-23092015.htm

I'm sorry, I haven't worked out how to embed videos yet but, in a nutshell, two drivers come face to face under a railway bridge. The woman has right of way but the man refuses to reverse - claiming he doesn’t know how! It's one of those bridges where you can't always see the traffic you're supposed to give way to until you're already part way through so he should have been prepared to reverse.

Of course, if he really can't reverse, then he shouldn't be driving so it seems like the man is totally in the wrong - but I can't help feeling sorry for him. The video is fascinating if only to see how determined they both are.

OP posts:
JuanPotatoTwo · 24/09/2015 09:38

Ps I'm not the woman!

OP posts:
JuanPotatoTwo · 24/09/2015 09:38

Or the man :)

OP posts:
glenthebattleostrich · 24/09/2015 09:39

It was the woman's right of way, he should have reversed.

TheFairyCaravan · 24/09/2015 09:42

The woman. The man was much further under the bridge when she entered, so she shouldn't have entered right of way or not.

AyeAmarok · 24/09/2015 09:42

Haven't watched the video (I'm on my phone in work) but surely this would without a doubt be the man's fault! Seriously, he didn't know how to reverse Confused he sounds like a knob.

Who backed down eventually, out of interest?

honeysucklejasmine · 24/09/2015 09:44

The argument seems to be that although she had right of way, he had already started through the tunnel by the time she arrived. According to locals, right of way only applies in this location where you arrive there at the same time. As it was, he was 2/3rds the way through and she was sat just inside.

In this case it really would have been better and easiest resolved if she had reversed. I feel sorry for the people behind, begging her to move so they could collect their children from school.

It's where legal rights and common sense clash, and in this case common sense did not win, stupidity did.

honeysucklejasmine · 24/09/2015 09:46

After all, can you imagine if the traffic coming from the man's direction had to reverse out the tunnel, no matter how far through it they were, if a car coming woman's way arrives? Ridiculously dangerous.

LumelaMme · 24/09/2015 09:46

I'd say the man, since the woman had right of way, but if he genuinely could not have seen her coming and if I'd been her and known that, I'd have slowed down to let him through.

They were both being unreasonable to hold the traffic up for so long, though: that's just selfish and mindless.

I get very arsey at a priority section near where I live: I get sick of people running it against me when it is my right of way, they can see me coming, and they haven't been waiting more than 2 seconds. I have been known to make life difficult for them, but not to the extent of blocking the road.

Seeline · 24/09/2015 09:47

I hope the police are following up the incident. Someone who is incapable of reversing their vehicle should not be on the road!

Tyrannosaurus · 24/09/2015 09:48

They were both being massively unreasonable. It doesn't matter who's right of way it was. Either one of them could have reversed, and avoided holding all those people up over a petty power struggle.

JuanPotatoTwo · 24/09/2015 09:48

Aye you kind of have to watch the video to get the full picture - it's gripping stuff! He backed off in the end - with help.

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 24/09/2015 09:49

Seriously, he didn't know how to reverse confused he sounds like a knob.

On the contrary. He was a very frightened, flustered elderly man because of that woman. Of course we don't know what his driving is like on a regular basis, but she caused that situation. He was 2/3 of the way through the tunnel. Why would anyone enter? You'd wait. But no, not her. I hope she gets a visit from the police.

TenForward82 · 24/09/2015 09:51

They were both twats. Whether I had right of way or not, when it was clear the other berk wasn't going to reverse, I would have, so I could go about my day and be the bigger person

Fancy explaining that to your boss: "I was late because some twat blocked me and wouldn't reverse."
"Well, did you reverse?"
"No, I shouldn't have to."
"Ok, that'll be half a day's wages, please."

SoupDragon · 24/09/2015 09:51

They should have waited for the police to come in the hope that the man had his license removed. He is not safe to be driving.

That said, the woman was a knob for not just reversing.

The bystanders could surely have reversed the man's car for him anyway.

JuanPotatoTwo · 24/09/2015 09:51

Tyranno - I know. I wouldn't dream of holding up so many people just to try and make some sort of point.

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hebihebi · 24/09/2015 09:51

I think if he was too nervous to reverse back then the woman should have done so. There's often a bit of give and take when driving.

Having said that, once I was in a kind of small car park. I chose a space at the end of a row so I had some extra room to get the baby in the buggy as I was heavily pregnant at the time. As I manouvered into the space a guy pulled in behind me. Neither of us could get into the space as we were blocking each other and I was just fed up and sat there and refused to move. Eventually he reversed to give me the space. I think he was a twat. I was there first and it was obvious I was wanting to park there but I do know that feeling of just not feeling like giving in.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 24/09/2015 09:53

He may be further under the bridge because he was going faster, not necessarily because he entered first. He is very unreasonable if he genuinely cannot reverse his car, he shouldn't be on the road at all. I found it rather uncomfortable how everyone was shouting at the woman, and no one seemed to be bothering the man at all, when both cars were in the way. If I had been her I would have moved out of the way rather than cause such a long delay, but I admire her for standing her ground with so many people swearing and berating her!

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 24/09/2015 09:53

I can only assume the not knowing how to reverse thing was an attempt to save face. Because of course that's far less embarrassing than being the one to back down... Pretty funny though.

SoupDragon · 24/09/2015 09:53

He was a very frightened, flustered elderly man because of that woman

No he wasn't. He was clearly unable to drive properly right from the start, before anything the woman did could have made him "frightened and flustered". He should not be driving.

JuanPotatoTwo · 24/09/2015 09:53

The bystanders did in the end soup.

I'm not sure what the police take on it is other than they're "aware of the incident".

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MajesticWhine · 24/09/2015 09:54

Both being incredibly unreasonable. Utterly pathetic behaviour by two adults.

TheFairyCaravan · 24/09/2015 09:55

Oh, you were there SoupDragon. Tell us more! Hmm

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 24/09/2015 09:55

What has the fact he is elderly got to do with anything?
If he cant reverse he shouldnt be driving regardless of him being 17 or 75

Seeline · 24/09/2015 09:55

He was a very frightened, flustered elderly man because of that woman

Even if he was, the fact that reduced him to a state that he couldn't reverse his car means that he shouldn't be driving. What else might frighten him - an emergency vehicle driving at speed needing to pass, a small child running into the road......

SoupDragon · 24/09/2015 09:55

I thought is was the man in the car at the end, although I did think his reversing had improved amazingly :)

They could have done it far earlier I guess.

Had I been the woman, I would have reversed whilst muttering obscenities under my breath and commenting on the shit ability of the other driver.