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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who was BU here - traffic incident

235 replies

JuanPotatoTwo · 24/09/2015 09:37

www.maidenhead-advertiser.co.uk/News/Areas/Maidenhead/Video-captures-railway-bridge-stand-off-between-two-drivers-which-held-up-traffic-for-more-than-30-minutes-23092015.htm

I'm sorry, I haven't worked out how to embed videos yet but, in a nutshell, two drivers come face to face under a railway bridge. The woman has right of way but the man refuses to reverse - claiming he doesn’t know how! It's one of those bridges where you can't always see the traffic you're supposed to give way to until you're already part way through so he should have been prepared to reverse.

Of course, if he really can't reverse, then he shouldn't be driving so it seems like the man is totally in the wrong - but I can't help feeling sorry for him. The video is fascinating if only to see how determined they both are.

OP posts:
AbeSaidYes · 24/09/2015 10:51

the an who called her 'love' and told her to grow-up and back the fuck up is a knob.

AbeSaidYes · 24/09/2015 10:52

he is obviously lying about not being able to reverse.

Witchend · 24/09/2015 10:52

We get similar outside school at pick up time. Quite frequently I end up walking along telling drivers they need to forget it's their right of way. The quickest and easiest way by far is if the person who has least distance to go manoeuvres out of the way most of the time.

I witnessed one stand off between a white van who could easily have reversed less than 10m but wasn't prepared to give way. I suggested to him that would be the simplest option. He said "I've been stuck here for half an hour so I'm not moving".
I pointed out that he'd be stuck for another half an hour if he didn't do this.
He wasn't too polite about it, but he did it. In five minutes the road was clear.

If he'd gone into the space rather than choosing to sit face to face with a whole queue of traffic that had come 50+m along Te jam would never have happened.

PrivatePike · 24/09/2015 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 24/09/2015 10:59

Thanks Tiggy :)
Well having viewed it now I agree with those who said fair play to that woman for having such balls of steel! I think they were both in the wrong but it was awful the way she was being hounded, to not give into that kind of pressure takes enormous guts and so I respect her for that even if she was in the wrong. I would have been a wreck after about 30 seconds of strangers shouting at me and threatening me, never mind 30 minutes!

APlaceOnTheCouch · 24/09/2015 11:00

They are both idiots because they let it go on for over half an hour.

But she should have reversed because she shouldn't have entered the tunnel when he was already there. He was nearly through. Her right of way doesn't trump everyone travelling from the other side regardless of where they are in the tunnel ffs if that was the case no-one could ever drive through from the other side.

It's a pity the police didn't arrive and have a stern word with both of them.

EeyoresTail · 24/09/2015 11:02

If anything he was scared of all the aggressive guys shouting.
I can't believe some guy was heard suggesting they tip the woman's car Shock

SushiAndTheBanshees · 24/09/2015 11:04

She had barely entered the tunnel, he was most of the way through. Wtf did she expect any oncoming traffic to do? Reverse the whole way back as soon as her front licence plate enters the tunnel?

He shouldn't be on the road if he doesn't know how to reverse. But the true failing was hers. She could have, should have, reversed but through nothing other than sheer selfish pig headedness caused havoc for lots of innocent people. He simply couldn't do anything about the situation - as his reversing skills showed. She could but wouldn't. I'd have lost it with her if I were stuck behind her. So utterly, utterly entitled.

99percentchocolate · 24/09/2015 11:05

You know who I feel sorry for most in that video? The visibly distressed mother at the end who was worried about her daughter walking home from from school.

Both drivers were twats and I hope they get prosecuted or fined.

Panicmode1 · 24/09/2015 11:06

This happens regularly on my road which is used as a rat run - pig headed selfish drivers who drive at each other and won't back down - it causes chaos, is a total nuisance for those of us who live on the road and it depresses me that people are prepared to be so utterly self centred....

I think that they should both be prosecuted for wasting everyone's time and driving without due care and attention..!

PrivatePike · 24/09/2015 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kungfupannda · 24/09/2015 11:12

I had a nightmare situation with a very elderly man who couldn't reverse. There's a stretch of country lane near me which generally has very little traffic as it is narrower than the other routes and very windy, with a couple of steep little hills and few passing places.

I use it very occasionally when the main road is backed up, but I try to avoid it most of the time. A few months ago a lorry jack-knifed on the main road and they closed it and diverted traffic down the lanes. I had a clear run up to the absolute worst point, when I met a long row of traffic who had apparently been told by a motor cycle police officer to go that way. He clearly didn't know the road!

I'd just come down a very steep slope with a lot of mud - it had been chucking it down and the lanes are fairly muddy at the best of times - and the first vehicle was a van. I tried to reverse up the hill and couldn't - the car was just wheel-spinning in the mud so the van and I managed, with a huge amount of co-operation and heads out of the window going 'You go. Right stop! I go. Now you!' to squeeze past each other. The next car had been waiting a fair way back, which should have let me go forwards so that the van could back up and get a run at the hill. Unfortunately, the elderly driver didn't realise what was going on and drove forwards to fill the gap, so I couldn't get out of the way of the van and the van couldn't get up the hill. It then transpired that he couldn't reverse. The van driver and I tried everything but until he reversed no-one was going anywhere. We were all out of our cars with various people offering to back his car up - the ones behind had left space for him - but he kept saying he could do it, and promptly reversing into the hedge.

He eventually got back just far enough that the van managed to drag itself up the hill, with a massive smell of burning - and then he surged forwards again and blocked me from being able to get into the only bit of space that would have let him and all the cars behind him get past. More wriggling on my part, and I managed to get far enough into the hedge for him to get past, but by that point he was so worked up that he decided he couldn't fit through and refused to even try. Instead he decided that he wanted to reverse all the way back down the lane. Eventually one of the drivers behind him went and looked and said there was a field entrance and if they all reversed past it, I could pull in there and let the man past. So 5 cars reversed a couple of hundred yards down the road, clearing the whole lane for the man. He got there eventually, bouncing off hedges and grounding his car several times in the process - and then he reversed across the entrance to the field, and I had to get out again and explain what needed to happen.

It was probably best part of half an hour before we got ourselves sorted out. Fortunately everyone stayed fairly relaxed, and fortunately the next batch of cars had realised what was going on and stayed right back down the lane at a farm entrance, otherwise I'm not sure we'd ever have got out of there.

hedgehogsdontbite · 24/09/2015 11:13

This is my neck of the woods. He would have seen her approaching the other side before he entered the tunnel. He was being a twat because he's ignored the priority instructions in favour of his own 'I was here first' rule, expecting her to accept his superiority and give way. On a matter of principal she's right to stand her ground, he was trying it on and got caught.

PoundingTheStreets · 24/09/2015 11:14

They were both unreasonable IMO.

Reminds me of something an ex-colleague once told me. At that time we both took the same journey to work using some long, narrow, windy country lanes. She and I were always reversing for people who didn't seem to know how to do it, whereas we'd had lots of practise so generally didn't mind - although we'd occasionally huff and puff at other people's inability to reverse. One day, she decided she'd had enough and had a stand off with another drive. He eventually reversed - in a less-than-straight fashion - far enough into a layby for her to go by. At which point she realised he'd had to reverse with a fully-loaded trailer attached. She was very Blush.

pigsDOfly · 24/09/2015 11:16

The woman didn't look intimidated to me.

If she felt that intimated why the hell didn't she reverse into the large gap the sensible person behind her had left for her and let the idiot man come through.

She was only just inside the tunnel so shouldn't have entered the tunnel in the first place when he was already so far through.

I've had similar things happen to me and I've ended up reversing with a lot of muttering and several rude words. I certainly wouldn't waste over 30 minutes of my life on it.

And if that man really can't reverse his car he's no right to be holding a licence. If he had been genuinely frightened of reversing and that was what was stopping him getting out of the way I would suspect he would have let someone do it for him.

I'm not really surprised he crowd were getting nasty, they probably had things they had to be doing. Surprised no one called the police.

Both a couple of complete knobs.

Jinglebells99 · 24/09/2015 11:17

That was uncomfortable watching. I would have reversed if I'd been in the woman's position. It was a very straightforward move for her. The men swearing at her were very unpleasant. The man really shouldn't be driving if he can't reverse.

RebootYourEngine · 24/09/2015 11:19

I think the woman should have reversed because she had less distance to go and the incident would have been over quicker.

Collaborate · 24/09/2015 11:26

In this situation, where one driver has priority over the other, it's exactly the same as the situation where there is a line of parked traffic blocking one side of the road.

The rule is to determine who has ROW if 2 drivers arrive at opposite ends of the obstruction at the same time.

I used to have this at my kid's primary school. 200m long lane, parking all down one side (not my side). I would always have to wait until cars stopped coming up the road before I could proceed. That didn't stop plenty rude drivers ignoring my presence and driving up regardless. In the end I would just stop and wait for them to sort themselves out.

It's impossible to determine who was at fault in the situation in the video, as we don't know who got under the tunnel first. They were both being very unreasonable in the end though, and he ought to have to retake his test if he can't reverse.

SoupDragon · 24/09/2015 11:32

You know who I feel sorry for most in that video? The visibly distressed mother at the end who was worried about her daughter walking home

Why was she worried about two teenagers walking home in broad daylight though? I didn't quite understand that.

InimitableJeeves · 24/09/2015 11:35

But she should have reversed because she shouldn't have entered the tunnel when he was already there

That rather depends on the speed he was doing, doesn't it? Given that it appears he had a clear view and must have seen her approaching, and also presumably saw the signs requiring him to give priority to oncoming traffic, it rather looks as if he saw her coming and decided to put his foot down and front it out so that she would give him priority.

I also suspect that she stayed put precisely because of that crowd of men swearing at her. I wouldn't have done it, but I can see that she may well have thought "Bollocks to them, I'll show them that they can't get away with trying to intimidate me". So what they did was totally counter-productive.

limitedperiodonly · 24/09/2015 11:39

The man really shouldn't be driving if he can't reverse.

You'd think so, wouldn't you? But there was a recent thread where people were saying they couldn't reverse and it was all right.

millionsofpeaches · 24/09/2015 11:40

I was in a similar situation to this recently. In my case it was a single lane bridge with priority from one direction. I was coming from the opposite direction and, although I could see a car coming towards the entrance to the bridge, I arrived at the bridge first and would have had time to go across before the oncoming car needed to stop. However, the driver saw me enter the bridge and very obviously accelerated towards it, entered the bridge and blocked my exit. I was very close to the end and the twisty nature of the bridge would make it very difficult to reverse. Oncoming driver had just entered the bridge and had a very easy reverse. He refused, saying he had right of way, was therefore in the right and wouldn't reverse. DH appealed to him, but he maintained he wouldn't move. Eventually I got out and told him I just wanted to take my kids home who had chicken pox at the time. He agreed saying "but only because your children have chicken pox" Hmm All in all a very strange incident.

InimitableJeeves · 24/09/2015 11:43

I once had a similar situation where a van driver entered a side road that I was waiting to get out of despite the fact that I was in a queue and had got there some time before he turned up, and letting me out would have delayed him by all of 5 seconds. Due to parked cars neither of us could move unless the other gave way. I decided that life was too short to argue with the twat, so sighed and began reversing with him following me ridiculously close to my front bumper. Only I decided that, since he obviously regarded me as a helpless little woman ripe for intimidation, I would BE that helpless little woman. I reversed at snail's pace, with lots of stopping and starting and hesitations. A couple of times I reached spaces where I might have pulled in, but I decided that I was obviously too helpless to do so and carried on slowly reversing whilst the van driver's face turned an ever more interesting shade of puce, not helped by the fact that he must have seen that I was laughing. Eventually I relented and pulled in, calling out "Just think, if you'd let me out you could be two miles down the road by now." It was deeply satisfying.

Idefix · 24/09/2015 11:44

The woman was in the right and the other car should have given way.

I found it hard watching the level of intimidating behaviour and language the people surrounding her were expressing. I actually feel scared for this women whilst watching.

It makes you wonder if that had been someone else man, family, elderly lady, old banger how such a crowd mob would have responded.

kungfupannda · 24/09/2015 11:45

Well I just had an unreasonable traffic stand-off. I got home and there was a pigeon standing in the middle of the gateway. I drove slowly towards it but the fucker didn't move. I got closer and closer. Still no movement. I beeped. Nothing. I thought of carrying on and hoping the car cleared the top of its head but that had the potential to get messy. So I got out, walked over and nudged it with my toe.

Whereupon it fell over on its side, having apparently somehow died standing up. In the middle of my drive.

Unreasonable little bastard.