Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DTD and found out he had shaved legs and tribal tatoos - run away?

114 replies

Margaritapracataz · 23/09/2015 13:59

I'm dating someone a bit younger than me.

Now found out he has a lot of tribal tatoos on one side. I just don't get them, it shows no creatively or individuality and I do think less of him now.

Once I'd got over that I realised that he shaves his legs. I've never heard of a guy doing this before.

Run a mile or are these normal things these days?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 23/09/2015 17:37

What's a Pride and Prejudice forum? I want to join Grin

I wouldn't fuss about shaved legs and tribal tattoos personally.

squoosh · 23/09/2015 17:38

This isn't a pride & prejudice forum is it?

Ah but even if it was all the Lydia Bennet fans would be supporting the OP!

horsewalksintoabar · 23/09/2015 17:40

Oh mileend...shots fired. Ouch! I remember that thread. I have to say, neither one of you is wrong. It's OK to not be into someone and sometimes this realisation doesn't happen immediately. I think people were hard on you mileend and Squoosh, you as well. Some of the posts here are really mean.

TheCraicDealer · 23/09/2015 18:37

I think Jane Austen would've given pretty pretty pragmatic advice; "Well if you rattled him at least you know that it wasn't mind blowing enough to overlook the shaved legs and tats. You were thorough dear, good for you".

SmugairleRoin · 23/09/2015 18:48

There was nothing wrong with your thread mileend.

This one....it's a bit shallow to be turned off by shaved legs yes, but sure we're all shallow to some extent. You don't want him? Don't date him.

ShowOfHands · 23/09/2015 18:54

My DH shaves his legs.

He does cycle 40+ miles a day though and is a triathlete. Believe me, after his first accident when he still had leg hair, he was in a lot of unnecessary pain and ended up with a nasty infected wound, all because of the leg hair.

I've made a note to tell him not to get a tribal tattoo as his shagability will fall the rest of the way through the floor. Grin

ShowOfHands · 23/09/2015 18:55

Actually, he doesn't shave them. He tried that once and he was crap and ended up covered in cuts.

MatildaTheCat · 23/09/2015 19:08

It's a fact of life that we are put off / turned on by certain physical characteristics. It's hardly our fault if it happens. Even the more self aware of us will have something we secretly find yuk. Boils, carbuncles, warty infestations, headlice, maggots, long yellow nails...the list is endless.

The OP is honest that these two issues do concern her and she's been flamed as shallow and dispicable. I think she's normal. I for one would be most alarmed by shaved legs although I am now educated it is quite common. The tribal tattoo is a Marmite matter and nobody will be changing their mind, love it or hate it.

You had a close shave, OP. Thank goodness you allowed the seduction prior to your marriage. Whatever would you have done? Grin

ShouldHavenotOf · 23/09/2015 19:12

I stopped dating a bloke when I was a teen because he held his knife like a pen. I knew there could be no future.

YANBU

CookieMonsterIsOnADiet · 23/09/2015 19:27

Shaving wouldn't bother me but tattoos would so he would be gone on that basis.

InterestedIgnoramus · 23/09/2015 20:35

I once dated a guy who turned out to be a total prick who, I discovered in the midst of a snogging session, wore a wig. I put my hand up to run it through his hair and the whole thing hinged back! Shock

OP, do you like this guy in other ways? Have you asked him why he chose his tattoos or shaves his leg? I wouldn't say either of those things were necessarily reasons to 'run a mile' unless they turn you off so utterly that there'd be no point carrying on with the fellow!

x2boys · 23/09/2015 20:38

Another guy i once dated had shoes that bothers meGrin

x2boys · 23/09/2015 20:39

Bothered!

reni2 · 23/09/2015 20:57

Wow, shoes, x2boys? I must be spectacularly unobservant, not sure I would recognise my dh's shoes even.

revealall · 23/09/2015 21:54

With the op.

As for being judgemental why on earth would you get a tattoo if you didn't want people to judge you? I suspect he probably assumed people would judge him favourably -Victoria Beckham perhaps.

I love MN you are totally allowed to be judgemental some things on (voting Tory for instance) but god forbid you forget that people are more than one dimensional if you mention hair, tats or religious beliefs.

revealall · 23/09/2015 21:56

I had to bin a bloke called Darren despite his large wodge ( cash, didn't get as far as his other packet).
Couldn't get past the name without wincing.

x2boys · 23/09/2015 21:58

Grinreveal!

x2boys · 23/09/2015 22:00

They were horrible big brown things reniGrin I,m not so shallow now even dh stinky shoes don't bother me!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 23/09/2015 22:01

I'm now wondering why all the competitive cyclists near me don't shave their legs. I mean, I'm a bit glad that they don't, but curious all the same.

Maybe they need leg hair for warmth in the North?

TheTigerIsOut · 23/09/2015 22:02

I must be very shallow but I find tatoos a bit of a disappointment, yeah... They turn me off even when they are so popular.

The shaved legs is not a problem if this is due to sport (if he was wearing stilettos, I would run a mile)

BrendaandEddie · 23/09/2015 22:03

Someone if found attractive recently revealed a tattoo.

It enphasised his working class ness.

Geoff0409 · 24/09/2015 07:54

I like the Wig story InterestedIgnoramus . Cheered me right up. Thanks.

Scremersford · 24/09/2015 09:47

I don't see how the OP is shallow. Shallow would be continuing in a relationship with someone she doesn't really fancy just in order not to be single, or for their money, or whatever. Physical attraction is about as unshallow as you can get. I mean obviously in mumsnet you are only meant to be attracted to another person on account of their sterling personality and ability to make you laugh, and preferably their left wing voting record, charitable donations and voluntary work, but in the real world, physical attraction is important.

I've turned down men because they had tattoos. I just don't like them. Not just because they look horrible to me but because they tell me a bit about the character of the man, that he buys into a trend that probably all his mates are, sheep-like, and I find getting pictures drawn on yourself a bit unappealing.

As for the shaved legs - not quite so bad because its not permanent. But again if it were a vanity thing (ie not for sport), especially if he is one of those hefty tattooed men you get strutting and promenading around the weights area of the gym, then no.

Feckingfeckfeck · 24/09/2015 10:34

My husband has terrible, awful home made tattoos from his drunk teenage years. Luckily they're all covered with clothing! I'd hate to think where I'd be now if I had been shallow enough to overlook him because of them. He's an amazing husband and an incredible father.

squoosh · 24/09/2015 10:38

But I'm sure there are people you were with prior to your DH that you dismissed for 'shallow' reasons? And those people are happily now coupled up themselves.