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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To request that all parents please ask

253 replies

SunshineAndShadows · 22/09/2015 20:20

... Before you let your child loose on a strange dog!

I was just out with my two hounds, both friendly beasts but bouncy when out walking and neither enjoy contact with children as they've had unpleasant DC experiences and will avoid them as much as they can.

Both dogs off lead but under control by me when I see a nearby mum release her toddler (very small, no older than 2) in my direction. He toddles forwards and I put a hand on each dog's collar so that I have full control (no time to clip on leads) and mum cheers him on.

I eventually have to do a crazy toddler knee block whilst holding both dogs and saying 'no' very firmly, which stops him in his tracks. Mum then comes over and stands there expectantly. I was wordless with astonishment and eventually she pulled him away saying 'oh dear, the doggies don't want to play'.

I felt like asking her if she also let him play with knives and electric sockets (but of course I didn't)

AIBU to expect that my dogs and I should be able to walk peacefully without attacks from uncontrolled children?

OP posts:

TenForward82 · 23/09/2015 08:08

I would prefer to ban dogs from the UK actually than have issues like this one (I might allow a few guide dogs for the blind and police dogs but that is all).

Wat.

So glad you're not in charge. Instead of teaching children to be responsible around dogs, let's just ban the dogs! Totally sensible.

giles I'm sure grazia would allow therapy dogs (generous of her, no?). But they'd have to be put back in a cupboard when the therapy session was over.

TenForward82 · 23/09/2015 08:10

Your dogs should not be off lead, if they are likely to bite children.

And the award for Missing the Point Totally and Not Reading Any Follow Up Posts That Reinforce That What They Said Is Not Actually The Case goes to Brioche! applause

Sirzy · 23/09/2015 08:14

I don't know why the op is getting stick for the dogs being off lead as she had close control over them. Which is more than can be said for the parent in this case!

Kickedinthetits · 23/09/2015 08:27

YANBU. My toddler knows to ask.
My dog hates other dogs. She is a rescue dog and was attacked badly on the dog home and so when we walk with her, as soon as there is another dog in sight, we have to put her on a lead and walk in the other direction. She will not go to attack them but if they come to her for a sniff, she does attack. Some dogs end up miles away from their owners trying to make friends with our dog. A lot of other dog owners assume that just because their dog wants to be friendly, that everyone else's does too.
Assumptions can't be made about either dogs or children frankly.

Original poster

SunshineAndShadows · 23/09/2015 08:30

Thanks Ten and Sirzy good to know that some posters are actually reading the thread!

Love that I'm getting grief for being responsible, keeping my dogs under close control, and protecting a strange toddler from any potential danger whilst mum who lets her 2 year old wander across a car park towards strange dogs is seemingly blameless!

Those of you who think I was irresponsible - do you genuinely believe that no dog will ever snap if threatened? And once more can you explain how having them on the lead would have given me more control than my hands on their collars? no of course you can't because you haven't read the thread you've just jumped on the frothing bandwagon

despite my dogs never giving me cause for concern, I'm not willing to risk their lives or a toddlers face to prove that point. To think that makes me 'irresponsible' is laughable

OP posts:

Original poster

SunshineAndShadows · 23/09/2015 08:33

Brioche where on earth do I say I let my dogs who are likely to bite children off lead?

Think about that assumption for a second. It's idiotic.

OP posts:

Lurkedforever1 · 23/09/2015 08:41

Yanbu. Dd was brought up round animals, including dogs, and from before 2 was pretty good at body language, both hers and reading an animals. Yet the golden rule was still that you don't touch any animal without permission.
One of my dogs adores kids, and if a non confident child wants to pat/cuddle him I get him to sit. If I don't get chance and they launch at him, hes big enough he only needs to be stood still doing the excited tail and bum wag, and he can knock a toddler over who's stood near his back end. I don't keep my dogs on leads and never have. I keep them under control instead. Apart from excellent training to respond to my commands, they're also taught from early on never to approach anyone or anything without permission when off their territory.
Tbh there's dick head parents and dick head dog owners, both give the rest a bad name. I find the same parents who allow their kids to go dog mauling also do the same with horses, which is even more stupid. Although suprisingly I find the parents that go ott on thinking all dogs are about to savage their kids, will quite happily encourage them to run up to horses, which are far more likely to accidentally hurt their pfb.

Some people are just twats by nature, and whether they own dogs or have kids or both, they'll always be twats.

grazia great sense of humour you have there.

Alisvolatpropiis · 23/09/2015 08:45

That's annoying MrsD!

I'd probably have the same problem with mine, if they ever do put one in my local park

I do find the talk of banning dogs as pets a bit odd, as if it's some new fangled idea to own them rather than something which has gone on for thousands of years.

Binkybix · 23/09/2015 08:51

YANBU and it seems as though you did everything you could under the circs. It's also pretty dangerous to let a child go wandering in a car park I would have thought.

I always hold my DS hand firmly and keep a decent distance until we have asked. Even then I'll hold him or hold his hand and stroke with him to make sure he's gentle enough.

It's nice to hear owners on here who don't let their dogs run and sniff at children - it happens a lot!

WannabeLaraCroft · 23/09/2015 08:52

Sunshine I wish the dog owners around here were like you. Rarely are they on a lead, we live next to a school and on a main road. My DS is a bit afraid of dogs (don't really know why, although we don't have any and neither do close family so he's not used to them). The amount of dogs that just wander up to him for a friendly sniff is unreal. I can tell they're just being friendly but DS can't, he's only 5,and even a small labrador is a big dog to him and is frightening. He hides behind me and the dogs try to sniff him out. Then the arse of an owner usually appears at this point to say helpfully "the dog is just being friendly, he won't hurt you". How the fuck does DS know that?

Anyway, the woman was a bellend.

Stillyummy · 23/09/2015 09:12

I had the same thing while ridding on a huge horse!!! We were cantering and toddler was encouraged to run at us from the side through a hedge. My horse stopped dead and I was really lucky to stay on. Unfortunately, I lack op's self controls and asked if the kid was allowed to run in frount of cars too. Apparently "she only wanted a cuddle". I really could have been less lucky and run her over, witch still makes me feel sick.

zeezeek · 23/09/2015 09:14

I think another point that some people are missing is that this was a car park! She let her toddler run across a car park! That woman was so irresponsible in so many ways.

Sirzy · 23/09/2015 09:19

stilly there have been some pretty scary posts on this thread but that has to be the worst. Letting a young child run at a horse has to be up there with the most stupid things a parent can do!

Stillyummy · 23/09/2015 09:23

To be honest, they could all result in death. I am guessing she didn't realise it was far away (from her, not the toddler), as opposed to small!

MrsDeVere · 23/09/2015 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lurkedforever1 · 23/09/2015 09:29

I can beat that still. We were told by some entitled twat who was trespassing on private land to get the dogs on leads because pfb wanted to come and see the horses. When pointed out that sending your small child into a herd of loose horses, after trespassing through farm land full of livestock, a few dogs in the distance was the least danger, we were told we were selfish and stuck up. Because naturally anyone owning horses and livestock should know kids will want to approach them and train them better.

BastardGoDarkly · 23/09/2015 09:49

Patchwork that's so so sad

LovelyFriend · 23/09/2015 12:33

The number of times that I've had a dog owner say "oh it's okay, they're friendly, they won't bite" to me when their dogs have bounded up to my dcs is unreal. I don't care how friendly their dog is, it really upsets my dcs to have the dog coming at them like that.

YesYesYesYes!
This is a daily occurrence in our lives even if we aren't in a park.

LovelyFriend · 23/09/2015 12:37

I'm not willing to risk their lives or a toddlers face to prove that point. To think that makes me 'irresponsible' is laughable

And yet you didn't use your voice to warn off or alert Stupid Parent to keep her child away from your dogs who you clearly do deem to be at least a potential threat to children.

LovelyFriend · 23/09/2015 12:45

My biggest fear about these free range "harmless bounders" isn't the dogs themselves, but the child freaking out and physically instinctively moving away from them and going onto the road to do so - the danger is they are hit by a bike or car rather than being eaten alive by a harmless dog/puppy, all the while some fucking idiot is going "it's ok they won't hurt you".

It's a daily occurance.

TenForward82 · 23/09/2015 12:46

Lovely this is a thread about irresponsible parents, not irresponsible dog owners. Focus.

And have you never been caught speechless by someone's stupidity? I'm often caught speechless by people's stupidity, on MN alone.

FisherQueen · 23/09/2015 13:08

Ah - even on a thread where a parent is demonstrably in the wrong we have the hysterical posters demanding dogs be banned, on lead and muzzled all the time. Amazing.

As for dog parks - pretty much every reputable trainer or behaviourist in the US reviles them for the damage they do to dog social behaviour. If they tried to make them the only off lead areas I would think they could be challenged under the Animal Welfare Act (preventing them from expressing natural behaviour). You would only need to find an organisation willing to do it.

For all the people having daily occurances with uncontrolled dogs, take a photo (or description) note the time you see them (most walkers are creatures of habit) and report them to your local dog warden. It's an offense to have a dog out of control and the warden will talk to them. Same for dog fouling - LAs fine for this and if you cabln give them information that they can use they will normally come out and catch them.

JohnCusacksWife · 23/09/2015 13:57

I would prefer to ban dogs from the UK actually

JohnCusacksWife · 23/09/2015 14:03

Am I the only person who's sceptical of the number of people who are apparently jumped on by random dogs on a daily basis? Having walked a dog daily for the least 15 years and regularly run and cycled along lanes frequented by dog walkers I can barely recall an incident where a dog has jumped all over me unasked. I can't be alone, surely...

LovelyFriend · 23/09/2015 14:12

Who appointed you the thread police Ten
Did you get a badge?

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