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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this "Ok" social etiquette now? AIBU

189 replies

Weathergames · 20/09/2015 18:28

And a grumpy cow?

OH and I have no kids this weekend (we have 6 between us they are all with their dads mums).

Went for a pub lunch down the road today family pub, not posh. Lots of families in there in the restaurant, big christening party. We were sat next to a couple with a baby, prob 18 months old. Fine (not in the christening party).

Couple fed the baby first and he sat next to their table in a high chair. Their food arrived and they put a mobile phone in front of him and proceeded to eat their food while he watched an episode of Peppa Pig which was clearly audible from our table.

Is this ok? It was REALLY irritating (I hate having the TV on during a meal anyway) and really detracted from our meal and we left as soon as we had finished eating. Just felt it was so inconsiderate of other diners and they should've been interacting with their child.

Or am I just a grumpy cow?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 21/09/2015 08:12

Meh they did something that works. Much more preferable than screaming.

Bingo halls do decent food and there's no kids in there.

Binkybix · 21/09/2015 08:16

Not ideal but fine to use the phone, but having the sound on so other tables can hear is just so annoying.

Yes, OP could have asked them to turn it down but why should they have to? Also, people can get aggressive when asked to do so, so just having to ask effects peoples' meals.

ArcheryAnnie · 21/09/2015 09:26

It's normal but it's not OK. I've done my time with Peppa Pig and I don't want to have to listen to it - or any other tv programme I haven't chosen - in a cafe or pub or whatever.

If people insist on plating Peppa Pig to their children in pubs, they should provide earphones.

ArcheryAnnie · 21/09/2015 09:29

(I am REALLY TEMPTED next time that happens, not to ask nicely for the sound to be turned off, but to counterstrike by letting my teenager put some ghastly obscene song on really, really loud. What's sauce for the goose, etc.)

dreadingautumn · 21/09/2015 11:38

I've done it in the rare occasions when we've been on holiday, eaten in restaurants 3x a day and I can't bear another game of bloody Uno and just want to have a conversation with DH. Volume is always on mute though

LasAnya · 21/09/2015 11:43

It wouldn't bother me, really. I'd rather Peppa Pig than a screaming child. if it was really loud, I might ask them to turn it down, I suppose.

You can't really enforce screen etiquette in public places, unfortunately, although at home - fair enough. I agree re: no screens at the table.

Bottlecap · 21/09/2015 11:53

I'm not crazy about this. Reminds me of a Radio 4 segment I heard about a year ago - nursery schools now contract therapists to teach children how to play. They look at wooden blocks and swipe them with their little fingers.

highlighta · 21/09/2015 12:01

Well tablets and phones were not so widely available when my dc were young.

We did go out to eat on occasion, but the things we took along for their entertainment was play dough, cars or a colouring in books etc.

We did get some glares from folk at other tables when ds was brum brumming his car all over the highchair table.

Now that my children are teenagers, we just don't go to the same type of place to eat out anymore. All the eateries with children's play areas and those catering for younger families, get a wide berth from us now. They were useful in those years but we have moved on from that now.

Even now though, phones are not allowed out during a meal. We sit and talk when we go out to a restaurant.

MissEeerie · 21/09/2015 12:01

YANBU simply because it was Peppa Pig and it's as annoying as hell.

duchesse · 21/09/2015 12:02

In my view 18mo is a not a baby but a small child, which ought to have been included in the family meal. The technology used to distract said child when it ought to have been communicating with its nearest and dearest and sharing the family meal is a side-issue. IMO feeding the children first and then parking them is tantamount to farming, not child-rearing. I realise that I am mostly on my own in the UK with this view.

tootsalina · 21/09/2015 12:12

We were in a restaurant at the weekend and a family with 2 little kids sat next to us. They were racing at top speed round the table, crawling along the bank of seats, shouting, generally being loud and awful.

Their parents were both immersed in their iphones and ignoring them completely.
Not the first time I've seen this either I'm afraid.

KoalaDownUnder · 21/09/2015 12:21

YANBU.

You wouldn't go to a restaurant and plonk a radio or TV on the table and play it without headphones, so why would a tablet be okay?!

It's noise pollution. Nobody else wants to be forced to listen to your kid's favourite show while they eat their dinner.

SoupDragon · 21/09/2015 12:21

IMO feeding the children first and then parking them is tantamount to farming, not child-rearing.

That's a shit, judgemental opinion.

gandalf456 · 21/09/2015 12:22

18 months is very young though. I didn't take either of mine out much at that age. If I'd managed to get them to sit even with an ipad (very expensive then), it would have been no mean feat.

Some people have children that just sit whatever happens so, by dint of their personality, it's far easier to parent by the book. Me, I was blessed with noisy, lively kids so didn't get out much. If I'd tried tovteach them in a restaurant, it would have been like an episode of Supernanny

Bakeoffcake · 21/09/2015 12:29

Bottle- "I'm not crazy about this. Reminds me of a Radio 4 segment I heard about a year ago - nursery schools now contract therapists to teach children how to play. They look at wooden blocks and swipe them with their little fingers."

I heard that too. My judgey pants were sky high.

PuppyMonkey · 21/09/2015 12:31

I'm with the "at least the kid wasn't screaming" camp.

And I do wonder just how loud the volume was - or did you perhaps see them take the screen out and then, harrumph, found you could actually hear it (along with the sound of background music, people talking, laughing, plates being scraped and all the other noises that you could decide were really irritating if you were that way inclined).

Hope you weren't talking loudly yourselves op, that can be really annoying when you go out to a family friendly pub on a busy Sunday. Wink

angelos02 · 21/09/2015 12:39

Do families not eat dinner together around a table at home every night anymore? Surely it is then that you teach them how to behave when eating?

duchesse · 21/09/2015 12:42

Angelos, quite. I grew up in France. Have never managed to get my head around the UK way of doing meals.

Fratelli · 21/09/2015 12:46

This could have been solved with a simple "excuse me, would you mind turning it down please? Thanks a lot"

hazeyjane · 21/09/2015 12:51

Bottlecap and Bakeoff - I'd love to have heard that, are you sure this wasn't about children with delayed development? I have never heard of a 'therapist' coming into a nursery to 'help a child to play' unless it is for children with a developmental issue of some kind.

Screen judgers, you know nothing about the families that you have a glimpse of in a restaturant whose children are using a tablet. I agree that the sound should not be allowed to disturb other's experiences, but otherwise why is it an issue for you and yours?

GrandHighWitch · 21/09/2015 12:56

I find it amazing that people are so comfortable with plugging their children in to tablets etc so as to keep them quiet. Whatever happened to communicating with our children?? We eat out a lot with our 3 and so far have managed to keep them all entertained and at the table for the duration of their meal without resorting to electronic nannying. Ok so I might sometimes get a bit bored of repeatedly playing card games and eye spy, but they enjoy it and it is a relatively quiet way to stop other diners being disturbed.
All the DC have tablets etc, but they are only allowed on for a very limited time each day. I really don't want our children turning into glassy eyed zombies who are incapable of sitting quietly for a few minutes, or have to have a screen pressed to their noses to prevent an "I'm bored"

cingolimama · 21/09/2015 13:19

Hazey, I suppose it's an issue for me as I find this really really depressing. Spending time eating and chatting over a meal has value. It's a civilising force: it bonds families, instills good eating habits, teaches consideration for others etc.

Wolfing food that's barely tasted while glued to a screen is isolating, habit forming, and probably no good for your digestion either.

Cannot believe how many people think it's okay.

Fratelli · 21/09/2015 13:28

People are so judgemental. They could have had a really tough day and their child had been a handful all day. Every single parent has had a day like this. It may have been just to keep the child entertained for a few minutes to eat a hot meal whilst it's actually hot. Those poor parents being judged. They might not have realised how loud it was. Had someone have asked them to turn it down they probably would have without a problem. I think if you can't manage to ask someone to turn the volume down that's your own fault.

Bottlecap · 21/09/2015 13:31

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10767878/Infants-unable-to-use-toy-building-blocks-due-to-iPad-addiction.html

I can't find the Radio 4 segment, but I'm sure you could unearth it with a more refined search.

It's not an issue for me, but it's issue for the children who are so immersed in tablets that they're missing their milestones.

Original poster
Weathergames · 21/09/2015 13:34

This wasn't a single parent though - it was a couple who looked quite well heeled and were speaking to each other in a language other than English.

OP posts:
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