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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to talk frankly about money !

337 replies

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 18:27

I don't understand why on this site , and even in rl, people are so shy to talk about money. Including myself, hence the name change !

So I'm inviting everyone to talk money. Feel free to name change if you feel uncomfortable. I feel knowing where other people stand and how they live (e.g. budgets, priorities) can be helpful for everyone. I'll start ;

Have a bf, no children, 24 years old
Earn £48k a year
Live at home with my parents whilst I save up, so no rent. No car either.
Spend £330 a month on transport
Save £2.2k a month for deposit (the £200 may sometimes get spent so im not strict on that)
Have £300 disposable income
Priority order; a home, holidays, shopping, eating out (if im honest, this is probably first Blush )

I know I can't police it, but can this thread please be free from negative comments. Feel free to ask questions so people can also get ideas on how to maximise income, savings etc. And mainly, to satisfy our nosiness (I know I'm not alone !)

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 20/09/2015 21:17

Sorry if I don't respond to all posts from now on but im.tired of repeating certain things and am tired in general.

I suspect your 'tiredness' pales into insignificance compared to lostlight.

If you truly want advice on your future finances, pick a more appropriate place to ask and way of asking and have some appreciation for those who are no where near as fortunate as you are.

Lostlight · 20/09/2015 21:18

Wicked lady. They don't. It's ok that they don't, but they don't

Being poor is seen as a crime nowadays. I can't post why I ended up like this as it's very identifying, but it involved domestic violence. It is not my fault, I am a good person. I lost my house and work zero hours contract. I pay bedroom tax and have two teen boys that eat a lot. I receive no maintainance and have asked for financial help.

I owe rent arrears because each time my contract ends I receive no money for two weeks, hence the rent arrears.
I incurred bank charges because I didn't realise this and debits bounced and have bounced ever since because I haven't repaid them

I just find posts like the op offensive but then again I am having a really bad day.

Lostlight · 20/09/2015 21:19

I have darned the socks. I am so very tired. And hungry.

Enjoy your house op.

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 21:20

M4 not that it's any of your business but I joined this site years ago and just stalked it (my aunt told my mum about it and I was curious). Then I got pregnant and became active. I just stayed on the site because , frankly, it's addictive and I will hopefully have a family again so no point leaving anyway. So hopefully you and john can get over it and realise that anyone can be on the site for any reason (including curiosity). Thankyou, and goodluck to you too

OP posts:
M4blues · 20/09/2015 21:22

I guess it just seems to me that you are making the assumption that because many posters on here are older, with kids, then they can give you advice on how to spend/save £48k pa. Many households here have 2 working parents earning far less than that. It's just that your posts seem not to understand that being older wiser and a mother doesn't mean they will have ever been in your fortunate position.

Lostlight · 20/09/2015 21:23
Sad
TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 21:25

The OP has never said she doesn't have sympathy for those less fortunate, but there is nothing wrong with asking for advice. I don't find the thread offensive, other people's circumstances on an internet forum do not affect your own, however awful they may be.

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 21:25

M4 Sorry if my post was a bit harsh - just got fed up. And no I realise, there is a different range of salaries. Ofcourse I do. But I also know there are some who are financially comfortable (a few have pisted) who I could learn from. Others could also have learnt from others who they want to learn from. Oh well, I've got plenty of advice (even if the form of the thread changed) so it wasn't a loss for me.

OP posts:
sugar21 · 20/09/2015 21:26

Journo ? Very funny thread, in fact not sure I believe a word but there you go that's me ain't got 2 arfpennys to rub togther nor a lot to piss in.
The greatest riches in the world are health happiness and being true to oneself !

M4blues · 20/09/2015 21:26

Grin I have no need to get over anything. You can post all you like. My point was that you seemed to make assumptions that the older mums with kids could give you financial advice. Many on here are struggling; really struggling.
As I said, I am not. But I was still shocked at your carefree attitude of not paying rent and asking for financial advice when you have zero financial responsibilities.

KevinAndMe · 20/09/2015 21:31

To give you an idea
As a joint income, we have less than what you earn.
We also have 2 dcs.

We are saving a minimum of £500 a month.

Which makes me wonder if you couldn't save more than you have. After all you have a monthly total spend of £300. All the rest could potentially be saved.

As for being a good thing financially to move together?!? Well, with such a low level of costs, I would be surprised.
But then, I wo
But I also expect that this would NOT be your main reason to move in with someone.... Well I hope...

spanky2 · 20/09/2015 21:31

Not too empathetic to Lostlight! 'Oh well I've got plenty of advice...so it wasn't a loss for me.' Seems a bit of an odd response, especially after Lostlight's holey socks.
Lostlight can you go to the bank and ask for an overdraft increase. Also the is a debt management service that's free, i think it's money advice, MA?

M4blues · 20/09/2015 21:32

Flowers Lostlight
Where are you. PM me your addres woman. I have tesco vouchers I don't need if you could find a use for them? Honestly. PM me your details and they're yours Flowers

KevinAndMe · 20/09/2015 21:34

And yes. As the average wage in the UK is about £24k, you do need to realise that you are earning twice as much.

If you want some financial advice, go and see a finance advisor but don't ask on a site when a lot of people will earn far less than you, even after many more years experience. (By default see the average wage...)

Lostlight · 20/09/2015 21:35

I live rent free because my parents wouldn't accept it, even if I was a millionaire. I'm sure there are other people who live rent free at home.

My elder son offered me his only money, five pounds from His paper round. He is fourteen. I expect the sentiment from that is lost on you.

Tomorrow they get to eat here. Lucky boys.

Bearbehind · 20/09/2015 21:37

Others could also have learnt from others who they want to learn from.

This doesn't make much sense but I do hope you are not saying that those who are less fortunate than you should have asked for ways to improve their fortunate then they'd have been fine......

Are you really that fucking stupid naive?

M4blues · 20/09/2015 21:38

Lostlight PM me and I'll post them tomorrow x

Lostlight · 20/09/2015 21:39

Thank you for the offer m4 I am far too ashamed to accept.

The selfishness and lack of insight from the op is astonishing. Please remember op, tomorrow you could be me. I was once financially secure, a home owner and happy.

Stylingwax · 20/09/2015 21:41

lostlight I'm sorry you're having a shit time. There's nothing so tough as kids and no cash and ridiculous threads like this don't really help. Some people don't realise that others can't afford to eat, it's nothing personal. I have a friend who lives rent and bill free at home, works part time just for her spends but still expects me to pick up the tab because I work five days a week. There's not a bad bone in her body, but she just doesn't realise that not being able to buy new clothes every month is not what people mean when they talk about poverty.
Good on you for getting out what was clearly a crap situation for you and your children, there is nothing braver and more admirable.

ShiningWhite · 20/09/2015 21:42

We have £84 to last two weeks until pay day including food for a family of six. HTH.

multivac · 20/09/2015 21:43

mainly, to satisfy our nosiness

So, are you satisfied, OP? I realise that kids are often more nosy than grown ups; I'm afraid I'm not really interested in your personal finances and whether you are more fond of holidays than eating out, or vice versa.

FluffyMcnuffy · 20/09/2015 21:43

I'm calling bullshit as the OP still won't say what she does for a living Hmm

If you'd like some life advice here's some:

In most proffessional jobs it is not looked upon favourably to be quite so brash about finances. It's generally seen to be pretty vulgar.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 21:43

Nobody knows what the OP has been through or is going through. People often have darker sides to their lives which they don't talk about. Just because somebody's life sounds peachy, it isn't always the case.

yeOldeTrout · 20/09/2015 21:44

Surely a forum where perhaps the majority are older and further along their life stages is the most sensible place to ask for advice and ideas? It can be really helpful to see how other people have managed their finances/lives to get where they are.

We are middle-aged & very financially secure.
But our path (my path) is nothing like what OP is doing. We never were where OP is. So no, I don't feel we can advise beyond the obvious basic principles.

Xenia: either pops up or doesn't. Not sure what her posting name is, now.

ShiningWhite · 20/09/2015 21:44

Lostlight Flowers