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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask you to talk frankly about money !

337 replies

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 18:27

I don't understand why on this site , and even in rl, people are so shy to talk about money. Including myself, hence the name change !

So I'm inviting everyone to talk money. Feel free to name change if you feel uncomfortable. I feel knowing where other people stand and how they live (e.g. budgets, priorities) can be helpful for everyone. I'll start ;

Have a bf, no children, 24 years old
Earn £48k a year
Live at home with my parents whilst I save up, so no rent. No car either.
Spend £330 a month on transport
Save £2.2k a month for deposit (the £200 may sometimes get spent so im not strict on that)
Have £300 disposable income
Priority order; a home, holidays, shopping, eating out (if im honest, this is probably first Blush )

I know I can't police it, but can this thread please be free from negative comments. Feel free to ask questions so people can also get ideas on how to maximise income, savings etc. And mainly, to satisfy our nosiness (I know I'm not alone !)

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 20/09/2015 20:47

OP, you didn't start this thread to ask about how best to achieve your life goals, you started it to make yourself feel good about how much you earn at such a young age- just re-read your first post.

There are hundreds of ways you could have asked for advice on buying a house/ saving for a deposit etc- but you didn't - you went in with the 'no one talks about how much they earn but I want to know what everyone else earns'

The fact you have so stoically avoided telling anyone what you do for a living speaks volumes.

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 20:50

yeold she hasn't posted here , or did I miss her ?

patrick a horrible generalisation. And incorrect.

wickedlazy thankyou. It's that carefree attitude towards money talk im trying to get.

theoriginal thankyou. We lived together last year of uni, but I guess you mean in a much more committed way. Sorty to drip feed (thread wasn't initially about this) but we would have been living together now if things had gone to plan, which is another argument being used against me (by bf and parents). I think I have decided though - ill buy alone and then see about moving in together

lore I should have tried there but I wanted to traffic (learnt my lesson). Thankyou for the advice -im writing it all down btw.

001 thankyou again

Ah I foolishly thought I could buy on a normal mortgage and then rent it out later using the same mortgage. I will definitely be talking to someone about it all (my parents would be a great start haha). And yes, I think I may not use all the savings for a deposit then so I can still have some savings.

OP posts:
EmGee · 20/09/2015 20:53

What do your parents suggest you do? Are they people you turn to for advice of this nature?

Tax relief on BTL mortgages is disappearing. Not sure from when but it will have an impact on profits made.

You are in a very fortunate position. I am quite surprised that your parents are so anti accepting any contribution (financial) towards your living in their house. I lived back at home on two occasions (from graduating). The second time I was established in my career and at home for a year while I looked for a house to buy. I paid my parents 250 quid a month as a contribution, and also contributed to phone bills. They didn't expect it but I know they were grateful as my dad had been made redundant but wasn't eligible for his state pension so money was a bit tight for them.

EmGee · 20/09/2015 20:53

Sorry
X post!

toodarnhilly · 20/09/2015 20:57

Not sure where you plan to buy OP but something I've noted from watching location location, and a bit from my own experience: If you're in a property market where prices are rising fast it makes more sense to buy as soon as you can rather than save for a bigger deposit. In the years you save up house prices may well go up faster than interest and your deposit becomes relatively less not more. (sorry if that's obvious, was sad to watch an episode recently with a couple who had saved for 10 years to get a 100k deposit and couldn't get anything they wanted in London because prices rose too fast.)

I earn much less than you (am PT, would still be less than you if FT); my DH earns much more than you. WE have two DC, we bought a house together 6 years ago after being together (living apart) for 5 years. We poured all our savings into that house both to buy it and then to pay off the mortgage. We are about to buy a bigger house which will mean a very big mortgage but if we hadn't bought when we did we would have no chance now as prices gone up so much in London.

ijustwannadance · 20/09/2015 20:57

Does your DP have the same savings/deposit/salary as you?

M4blues · 20/09/2015 20:58

But you're on a parenting forum full of parents with the financial responsibility that goes with that. Many parents on here are working 40hours a week+, earning nmw and really struggling.

I am lucky. We are financially sound. Both professionally qualified. Dh in a very lucrative profession. I would never consider starting a thread like this. It's just so disingenuous somehow. But maybe I think this in my 40s and wouldn't have thought anything of it in my 20s.

MySordidCakeSecret · 20/09/2015 20:58

stealth boast alert Biscuit

usual · 20/09/2015 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinecraftWonder · 20/09/2015 21:01

Ah I foolishly thought I could buy on a normal mortgage and then rent it out later using the same mortgage

You can. Some mortgage providers will let you do this for free. For others, there's a fee (average £1k a year) and like the pp said, reviewed every 12 months.

You'll very rarely be declined if you apply to be allowed to let the house after a couple of years, but may well be if it's after a couple of months as the mortgage company will suspect you're trying to buy-to-let through the back door, with a cheaper residential rate.

wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 21:02

thankyou. It's that carefree attitude towards money talk im trying to get.

Carefree when talking about money, but sadly never when I spend it.

Watching This is England 86 and the whole way through lol and woody's wedding, I sat thinking, you know what, that wouldn't bother me a bit. Although my mum might crack a bit Grin

winchester1 · 20/09/2015 21:03

Maybe she's a kid who thought us adults could give some advice.

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 21:03

emgee I know I'm lucky, and my parents don't need the money so they don't take it. Plus they believe it's as much our home as it is theirs iyswim.

toodarn well I'm hoping to buy in about 7 months so hopefully not much will have changed. Especially after this thread and PPs suggesting I have more savings after using deposit.

ijustwanna he earns about the same as more if not slightly more but we have very different attitudes to money. For example, he has saved up around half of what I have and this is only because I 'nag' him.about it. Left to it, it would all be spent !

OP posts:
Lostlight · 20/09/2015 21:04

Good for you op. Enjoy your money enjoy your life.

Today I cried all day because I had to send my two sons to my grandparents to visit as we have no food at all in the house and I am too ashamed to tell them. I then found that my last two pairs of socks have holes in the heels and can no longer be worn. I am in serious rent arrears and am running up huge bank charges on an overdraft. I work three jobs to support my children and I often go hungry these days. I can't afford to fill my prescription and my teeth are rotting.

Absolutely no one cares. Happy days

MySordidCakeSecret · 20/09/2015 21:06

also i don't know about other careers but my dp is a groundworker, each person's wage in his company is privately negotiated and it's strictly against the rules to discuss wages with each other, he's done it once before and he lost out on a paywise, that may be a reason why it's generally not discussed.

But as pp, why are you so desperate to talk about your high income and little expenditure? other than to be a twat

MySordidCakeSecret · 20/09/2015 21:08

*payrise

wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 21:08

Lost light, of course people care. Flowers

Can you deal with the rent arrears some way? Are you maybe entitled to some housing benefit? If you reduced your hours a bit to eligible, could that help in the long run?

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 21:09

M4 Sorry,I don't know what post you're responding too and I don't see what it has to do with this either. Are childless people not allowed on a parenting site? Speaking of which, where has john gone after his? ignorant post? Maybe I wanted to see the circumstances of people who are at the stage I want to be (yes those people happen to be on a parenting site)

OP posts:
TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 21:09

FGS. Surely a forum where perhaps the majority are older and further along their life stages is the most sensible place to ask for advice and ideas? It can be really helpful to see how other people have managed their finances/lives to get where they are.

I don't think it smacks of stealth boast, it seems to be that anyone financially comfortable (or more than comfortable) can't talk about money without being labelled vulgar, crass or a boaster.

wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 21:12

Could you darn the socks? Have you looked at different overdraft rates? You may get a better deal/smaller charges if you switch providers. Are halifax still doing the switch accounts get £100 thing?

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 21:12

lostlight Flowers. We're not in the UK so I don't have much advice, but are there any financial management/advice charities who might be able to help?

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 21:12

Lostlight I didn't make this thread to make you upset, I just wanted to see different people's circumstances and hopefully get tips from those who were where I wanted to be. I'm sorry that the thread upsets you (and others in a similar position) and genuinely wish you better.

Sorry if I don't respond to all posts from now on but im.tired of repeating certain things and am tired in general. Thankyou to all the great advice I've received so far and those who took part.

OP posts:
ijustwannadance · 20/09/2015 21:13

Then buy on your own or if you do buy with him (could buy better and have access to larger mortgage with joint salary) do not put in all your savings as deposit. Only match his contribution and get all paperwork sorted so all split 50/50.

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 21:13

themotherof you have said exactly what I am thinking.

OP posts:
M4blues · 20/09/2015 21:15

Of course people who aren't parents are allowed to post. But you are very young and not a parent so with all due respect you have little understanding of the financial struggle and financial responsibility many parents on this board face daily.
Many women on here struggle with the decision to either feed themselves or their kids.
It's great that you are earning well and saving for your future; genuinely. As I said, I'm lucky, we're financially secure. However, I just think it's a little strange and somewhat disingenuous that you've chosen here to post. But I guess I'm alone. Good luck to you.