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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to talk frankly about money !

337 replies

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 18:27

I don't understand why on this site , and even in rl, people are so shy to talk about money. Including myself, hence the name change !

So I'm inviting everyone to talk money. Feel free to name change if you feel uncomfortable. I feel knowing where other people stand and how they live (e.g. budgets, priorities) can be helpful for everyone. I'll start ;

Have a bf, no children, 24 years old
Earn £48k a year
Live at home with my parents whilst I save up, so no rent. No car either.
Spend £330 a month on transport
Save £2.2k a month for deposit (the £200 may sometimes get spent so im not strict on that)
Have £300 disposable income
Priority order; a home, holidays, shopping, eating out (if im honest, this is probably first Blush )

I know I can't police it, but can this thread please be free from negative comments. Feel free to ask questions so people can also get ideas on how to maximise income, savings etc. And mainly, to satisfy our nosiness (I know I'm not alone !)

OP posts:
Sazzas · 21/09/2015 09:49

Yuck does every thread about wealth have to turn into recommending becoming a buy to let, aka parasite selfish, "investing"

Invest in something productive. Not something that screws people over and gets them into eye watering debt. The average house in the south east earns far more than the average person over the last decade, this cant continue.

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 21/09/2015 09:53

Oh I missed quite a lot.

Actually, I do give to charity but not the equivalent of rent as I'm saving for a house.

Think most people are saying not to buy with my bf and I definitely agree. I will buy alone and then reassess later on.

I'm going to sit down and look at it all again. If I aim to spend about 90% of my savings on the deposit and keep 10% then it may be a good balance for me as I would have that little bit of safety. I would start rebuilding savings (and save in different places) again after the deposit.

Heis I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. It's this fear that is making me want to buy alone - and I will. Thankyou for advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Moneyexpose · 21/09/2015 09:58

Garrick thankyou for sharing , certainly made me re look my plans. I'm sorry this happened to you and hope your luck changes. Thanks again

Choo thankyou. Are houses very expensive where you live or are you saving a low percentage of your disposable income on deposit ?

OP posts:
chootalkinboutWillis · 21/09/2015 10:02

OP, I wouldn't buy here. I'm saving to buy a house back in the UK.

LineyReborn · 21/09/2015 10:06

I think occupation is relevant if it's vulnerable to redundancy in certain economic climates, and one is talking about long-term financial planning and Plan Bs.

ArendelleQueen · 21/09/2015 10:11

Of course her job is relevant to long term financial planning! I'm in a job where there is a national shortage of workers in the profession and a massive recruitment drive. I could leave my job and walk into another one with similar pay and similar conditions. I am very lucky in this respect, although the pay is crap and no one seems to want to do the job.

I'm surprised that, on a thread where she wants people to be so open, she won't share that but that's her prerogative.

hooliodancer · 21/09/2015 10:28

In the banking industry graduates can start on 40k. Even apprentices starting salary is over 30k!!!! Top law and big 4 accountancy firms pay similar. A partner in a big 4 accountancy firm gets a salary of 300k plus, with bonuses on top.

I can't believe some of the nasty comments people have made on here. If she said 'I am a lawyer' would that stop people being so vile?

Some industries pay huge amounts of money, whilst others of us struggle. I earn about 30k, and am the only income earner in our household and am twice the Ops age. However I chose my path, maybe I could have been a partner in a law firm by now but that type of career was not for me.

One thing I know is that choices made at the Ops age are vital, something many of us at her age don't understand. I certainly didn't think about the future then, and really wish I had. If only I had started paying into a pension then, even a little a month, then I wouldn't spend so much time worrying about the future as I do now.

Op, make sure you pay into a pension. Buy your house, but as tenants in common as already suggested. Have some fantastic holidays before you settle down though! I am assuming your career will get even more high pressure as you rise through the ranks, with longer hours etc. Enjoy your money as well as earning it!

slightlyglitterpaned · 21/09/2015 10:52

There's absolutely no point sharing a salary unless you know WHERE in the country you live. That's the missing point in all these salary sharing threads.

And in terms of careers, tips etc. It is only helpful if you say what you do. Otherwise the response is "be born privileged with access to knowledge about what's actually lucrative and how to get there".

If you learn from a salary sharing thread that someone in your profession, in a similar geographic area, earns twice what you do, then you can use that information. But it has to be specific.

There have been some really useful salary sharing threads on here. This isn't going to be one of them now, but hopefully you will learn something useful from it OP, if only that you are in the grand scheme of things privileged and wealthy, regardless of what your peer group say.

slightlyglitterpaned · 21/09/2015 10:57

Wow massive cross- post! Had clearly opened this thread last night where all the posts were accusing OP of stealth boast, journo etc. Now there are 13 pages not three....

bedraggledmumoftwo · 21/09/2015 12:33

slightly, it is still a relevant question, though, I don't think op has said where she lives, but I assume London for her salary and age, and the size of her deposit- if she were somewhere cheap she could almost look at buying outright with her 80k!

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 21/09/2015 12:49

Sorry, I'm at work so responses are slow. I work in London and live in Hertfordshire.

I would say my industry is quite safe at the moment , it's is certainly getting stronger since the financial crisis. Pay does increase yearly (a PP asked).

I will look into our pension scheme. I'm pretty sure they match us (something like that).

I'm not sharing my job because , as previously said, it's irrelevant and I don't need people making anymore ridiculous assumptions about me.

OP posts:
shutupanddance · 21/09/2015 12:52

So you want to know everyones salaries but yournot sharing your job? Ok then. Are you a high class hookie?

KevinAndMe · 21/09/2015 13:11

I just one comment to make about all the posts saying 'keep you house for yourself and don't buy with your bf. You never know what is around the corner. He might leave you, you might end up with nothing'.

I agree with that but the other side of the coin is that one:
8 years ago I started to feel extremely tired and was since diganosed with ME. That means that nowdays, DH has to be my support, financially and practically as I can't work full time anymore nor can I always take on 'my' half of the housework etc...

So it's all very well and good to say you need to protect yourself but don't do that at the detriment of the trust you share with your bf or partner. Because he might well become the one who will be there to support you later on. And that isn't going to happen if your relationship isn't based on trust and fully sharing ressources etc... but rather on being careful to protect your own assets first.
(And be aware that it might actually also be the other way around that you might end up having to 'share' these assets to support him).

yankeecandle4 · 21/09/2015 13:12

Only on MN you are a stealth boaster if you have more than 2p in your purse and own two sack cloths.

Judging from the latest holiday thread, I doubt that the majority of MNers are scraping by.

Londonista123 · 21/09/2015 13:22

Just read (most of) this thread with interest.

Like OP I lived at home before I emigrated to the UK, worked while studying, and my parents would never have accepted rent/contributions to bills from me (in fact my dad would have continued paying for my petrol/suggesting I take his car instead of mine) if I hadn't kept it topped up to brimming. They struggled as youngsters and didn't want me to go through the same. It doesn't mean I couldn't save/budget. There's no need to call the OP spoilt because her parents chose to (and were able to) house her like this.

OP, my only advice (as a 29 year old solicitor on a salary higher than yours) is to buy on your own. As others have said you can get "consent to let" from some mortgage lenders to rent your place out if you want to move in with DP. Owning your own home is a great form of security, so you always have somewhere to go back to regardless of changes in relationships/jobs /whatever.

Also, try not to overstretch yourself in terms of borrowing - don't borrow to the extent that mortgage payments eat up your salary and you have to stay in a job you hate just to make ends meet. It isn't worth it. (No mention of you disliking your job, but things can change, or your priorities might shift once you have kids.)

AbeSaidYes · 21/09/2015 13:24

I'd be really pissed off if my son lived with me rent free while earning £48k.

yankeecandle4 · 21/09/2015 13:26

I would rather that my children put their salary towards a deposit in the hope of them getting somewhere quicker, than to pay me rent.

yorkshirepuddingacademy · 21/09/2015 13:28

Fucking hell!! My DP and I combined must earn only 1/3 of your salary!! And we have two children between us, rent to pay, bills to pay, mouths to feed etc.

If you're here to boast then don't bother. It only serves to get people's backs up.

GriefLeavesItsMark · 21/09/2015 13:38

I don't think that someone working in the financial sector would be asking such nieve questions.
I would think that if someone was serious about buying a property in six/seven months time they would have started exploring how much they could borrow, what type of property they could afford. and have some idea of the buying process (stamp duty, legal expenses etc). I am not getting the impression the OP has done this.

Anyway, Hertfordshire, even the crappy parts, is getting expensive. On a salary of 48k with a 70k deposit you would not get you much

Garrick · 21/09/2015 13:42

All of them said they couldn't now even get an interview because of their ages. That's sobering as well. A scrapheap for qualified, experienced 40-somethings.

You're right, Liney, it is sobering and it's happening a lot. Things have changed so fast lately, there seems to be a plague of blissful ignorance among those aged about 30-45, and again among over-65s, about what's happening to younger and older people in the jobs market. Conditions are really tough and unforgiving for many. I don't just mean pay cuts, which are bad enough. I mean folks are getting a clear message that they aren't wanted and are worth little. Thinking has to change accordingly.

Thank you for the nice messages and flowers :)

Emz449 · 21/09/2015 14:38

My parents are the same as yours Moneyexpose, they didn't charge while i lived at home, i don't think its a bad thing and they certainly never resented it, they took the view point that they didn't want to charge their children for living at home. That suits them though and in all honesty they were comfortable and didn't need the extra money. I still had a part time job from when i was 16 and throughout uni. My sisters living at home at the moment, she's trying to get a buying job in London and she's working part time in a bar, the money goes towards train fares for interviews and so that she can still see her friends

TurquoiseDress · 21/09/2015 15:04

OP my parents sound like yours.
I was studying & working part time and they absolutely refused to accept any rent money.

In fact they got totally offended and caused other issues!

From their point of view, if I paid rent they didn't want me to then treat the house as a hotel (which I never did, far too busy studying!)

Overall, it was their way of helping me financially while I was studying which it did.
Still can't buy a home in London though!

Lostlight · 22/09/2015 06:48

I would say my industry is quite safe at the moment , it's is certainly getting stronger since the financial crisis. Pay does increase yearly (a PP asked

Interesting.. Is the industry one that perhaps is getting stronger becauseof the financial crisis?

Are you failing to disclose because you might wonder what the reaction might be?

Just some thoughts.

irrumabo · 22/09/2015 07:24

kevin i think that advice to buy in her ien is because she doesn't even live with the bf, so right now it does not seem sensible to invest in a house together when you haven't even lived together or even lived away from home.
they may well end up married etc but if its been three years and still not living withbine another then it will be a long time, if ever, before they do, especially as OP isn't looking to move anywhere for at least 7 months

tobysmum77 · 22/09/2015 07:32

Don't buy with your boyfriend op, it sounds like you don't want to. I am amazed and horrified at the level of pure Envy on this thread.

Who cares that the op's parents are letting her live rent free? Once she's bought a place in London for she's going to learn about money management pretty quickly Grin. It's nobody's business but their's. My brother lived practically rent free for years he was earning well, so what? If the parents don't need the money its none of anyone's business.

Lots of people are well off, why is that offensive?