To ask you to talk frankly about money !

[Moneyexpose]

I don't understand why on this site , and even in rl, people are so shy to talk about money. Including myself, hence the name change !

So I'm inviting everyone to talk money. Feel free to name change if you feel uncomfortable. I feel knowing where other people stand and how they live (e.g. budgets, priorities) can be helpful for everyone. I'll start ;

Have a bf, no children, 24 years old
Earn £48k a year
Live at home with my parents whilst I save up, so no rent. No car either.
Spend £330 a month on transport
Save £2.2k a month for deposit (the £200 may sometimes get spent so im not strict on that)
Have £300 disposable income
Priority order; a home, holidays, shopping, eating out (if im honest, this is probably first )

I know I can't police it, but can this thread please be free from negative comments. Feel free to ask questions so people can also get ideas on how to maximise income, savings etc. And mainly, to satisfy our nosiness (I know I'm not alone !)

No Lostlight, don't be ashamed. We are all just a month or two from struggling.
Your position is nothing to be ashamed of.

lostlight I already explained that I didn't make this thread to upset you. I genuinely feel for you and your situation but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to post a thread. I don't know what more you want from me if I'm honest. Perhaps hide the thread if it's bothering you so much? And if my parents refuse money from their kids, there's nothing I can do about that aswell. I contribute in other ways. But honestly, I am sorry that you are in the situation you find yourself in and truly hope it gets better for you and your family

A quick nosy around this site would have shown the op that threads discussing disposable income are at the best, often lively, at the worst downright contentious.

Why not post on a site about investments or wherever it is those sorts post?

Glad you got what you wanted. Shame you didn't get what you needed.

If your parents won't accept your money why not give to charity or food banks to help those in need moneyexpose

fluffy you are perfectly entitled to do so. And as I said, my circle of friends share freely but I always feel awkward doing so in rl. Believe what you want though.

Thank you m4.
I know you didn't post the thread to deliberately upset me op. How ridiculous.
Just some humility and discretion perhaps?
Of course you have a right to post. And I have the right to be pissed because I can't feed my kids.

We all have all the rights we need, so we can all be happy can't we.

Really? You and your friends actually sit round saying "I earn Xk". I once had a friend ask what I earned and it made me feel grossly uncomfortable and I left. I guess you can't buy class .

Moneyexpose for what it's worth I think you've been given a pretty rough time on this thread. Earlier you said you became active on mumsnet when you were pregnant, from your other posts I am assuming your pregnancy didn't end well, if that is the case, .

It is a rare person whose life is all sunshine and roses, I am always astonished that people would make snap judgements and assume that just because a person doesn't talk about it, that must mean that they have no knowledge of hardship.

I don't get why people are having a go at OP for not paying rent to her parents. If her parents are not accepting rent money if when she has offered and OP has said she has then what is the problem exactly? My parents wouldn't take rent money off me no matter how much I offered...doesn't mean I can't budget or live in cuckoo land and have no idea of what things cost etc. If you decide you want your kids to pay rent to you that's your choice if her parents decide they don't want to do that then there is nothing wrong or horrible about it and nor should OP be getting a roasting for it either.

OP if I were in your shoes I would not buy with bf personally as you don't know how it will work out in the future. Get your own place and put down a deposit that gives you a 60/40 LTV as this will give you options of the lowest interest rate.

Make sure you have money aside for deposit/ legal fees/search fees. Also put aside money for new furniture/decorating. I couldn't save too much for that and wish I had £3k to be able to buy the types of things I wanted. Also don't rush to buy everything when you move in as you will change your mind alot once you have lived in the space as to what you want, just get the basics such as fridge/freezer, washing machine, bed,sofa and leave the soft furnishings like lamps/art/chairs/bookshelves for once you have lived in it for a bit. Half the things I thought of buying I would of regretted anyway.

Assuming you don't move in with your bf and move into your house I would look at your income and definitely overpay your mortgage even if its only £100 extra a month it will save you thousands in interest over the typical 25yr mortgage. Plus overpaying gives you a buffer for example if you were to be unfortunately made redundant. It happened to me and I was glad I had 3yrs worth of over payments to act as a buffer for a few months until I got a new job. Although you could use savings you have aside the fact overpaying saves you money in the long term is far better. You don't know what will happen later on in life so good idea to try to pay off the house quickly.

I would also put some money aside for house maintenance e.g. if the boiler packs in that could cost you £3k roughly to get a new one in.

If you find £300pm is enough for your social/ disposable income then I would save the rest after mortgage (over payment) and bills because having money in the bank or other in other investments gives you flexibility later on in life if something unexpected happens or you have kids - it might mean you could put them in private schooling if you wish or you could just go part time or retire early but the thing is you have options.

I earn a lot less than you just on £34k but out of that £780 on mortgage + £200 over payment a month, £400 for all bills (gas,elec,water rate,council tax, travel,gym,sky, netflix) leaving me £630pm for food and basically anything else.

Definitely get mortgage advice - go to a broker they will look across the whole mortgage market for you than going to individual banks.

Good luck OP you are in a fortunate position so definitely make the most of it .

fluufy I've seen it's quite the thing for 'hooray Henry just left uni and gone into a high flying job' types to do.

They all sit around bragging over who earns the most, with much back slapping and zero appreciation of how fortunate they are.

The OP has very clearly demonstrated how crash and crude it is.

The irony of her not understanding why people can't talk about what they earn when she don't even say what she actually does, has not been lost on most people.

There is a Money Matters forum on here OP if you would find it helpful.

BTW I am in 33 and only bought my house 3 yrs ago as I spent the earlier part of my years paying off student loan as quickly as possible as well as saving for a deposit. Just to give you a perspective on where I am in my life.

It's an AIBU asking people to talk frankly about money. So people are. Rough rides are part of the deal.

We got our first mortgage on a house aged 27. We were very lucky to return home from uni and save. We bought just as prices were increasing. In retrospect, I wish I had been more economic and more careful with cash in my 20's and 30's. We weren't particularly extravagant but I'm now a minimalist and thrive on having less rather then more. It's a real release! Makes having children more affordable, although it still has been a struggle financially.

OP, this thread is probably showing you exactly why people don't talk about money

But you're still young. When I was your age, I made the mistake of telling 2 friends what I earned. One if them could notovercome her annoyance at the fact that I earned much more than her, in similar jobs.

Good luck with everything. Maybe it's time to spread your wings and leave the nest.

who cares what she does? what does it matter anyway or is it so you can then just slag her job off ..already some of you are making assumptions about what she does or doesn't do and being quite frankly really spiteful.

I find the OP's post quite interesting, as are the others detailing financial situations/income but then I'm a nosy moo but wouldn't dream of asking people about their salaries etc in real life!

I agree Spectre.

Less spiteful Spectre, more pointing out that maybe some work on social skills and integrity would go a long way.

The subject of money is contentious. Those that have it often say it doesn't matter, those that don't do. Those that have it say that those that don't are jealous and spiteful. Those that don't say they aren't jealous just wish that those that do would be more sympathetic to the struggles that those in grinding poverty face.

If you have a plateful of food you would have would have to be pretty clueless to discuss various cooking methods in front of a starving child wouldn't you and then complain that they are jealous.

Lack of money reaches far beyond jealousy, it goes to the heart of who you are and what you stand for. If you have no money you have no choice, no voice and little value to many people. It is fundamental to human dignity and lack of money causes hunger, discomfort pain and in extreme circumstance death. You feel no one cares and that you are worthless and disposable.

That is why money is contentious.

Well unfortuantely LostLight this is a forum made of various topics and she posted in AIBU which quite frankly covers a whole range of shit to be fair.

Is there some MN rule that you can't post about certain stuff..ok let me backtrack an anonymous forum on the internet.....erm ok so now there are rules to what can or cannot be posted? Let's just look at what other people have posted erm lets see how about all the constant threads about would IABU to buy a designer handbag costing hundreds of pounds or AIBU to buy a dyson hoover or the thousands of other threads where people talk about purchasing expensive things...BAN THEM BAN THEM ALL! Because you can't complain about this thread without complaining about all those other ones either.

themotherofhell thankyou, I appreciate your kind comments.

spectre thankyou very much. That is some great advice and yes, that's why I'm not sharing what I do. I have definitely decided to buy alone and I'll stick to that. We can see later about living together. And when the time comes, I will follow your advice on overpayment. The earlier it can be paid off, the better. Thankyou again for your advice.

Salted thanks for taking part. Quite interesting that you lead a minimalist lifestyle especially in this country.

babu haha yes it is ! Geez, I hope your friendship returned to normal after. That reinforces my awkwardness about my money talk in rl :/ thankyou for your well wishes.

Besides there will always be someone more better off or worse off but there is no need to tell that person they cannot post or discuss something. Crikey every topic post on MN could offend someone in one way or the other.

I didn't say ban them I said money was contentious.

Some posters picked the op up on her attitude. I was one of them.

Mumsnet is a 'wealthy' site.

Look on style and beauty and on home childcare.

Not every poster is wealthy but I imagine the average household income is above the UK average.

well if money is contentious than any topic relating to money should have you posting on it saying how offensive it is then....no?...why not since its such an issue.

Well I don't think OP has an attitude at all only recently there was a documentary on TV about why people are not open about money in the UK...OP only asking the same thing really. I don't see her putting people down who earn or have less than her. If anything I see people having a pop at why she doesn't pay her parents rent, that she must be a lawyer, she is young and young people are just so obnoxious etc. etc.