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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to talk frankly about money !

337 replies

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 18:27

I don't understand why on this site , and even in rl, people are so shy to talk about money. Including myself, hence the name change !

So I'm inviting everyone to talk money. Feel free to name change if you feel uncomfortable. I feel knowing where other people stand and how they live (e.g. budgets, priorities) can be helpful for everyone. I'll start ;

Have a bf, no children, 24 years old
Earn £48k a year
Live at home with my parents whilst I save up, so no rent. No car either.
Spend £330 a month on transport
Save £2.2k a month for deposit (the £200 may sometimes get spent so im not strict on that)
Have £300 disposable income
Priority order; a home, holidays, shopping, eating out (if im honest, this is probably first Blush )

I know I can't police it, but can this thread please be free from negative comments. Feel free to ask questions so people can also get ideas on how to maximise income, savings etc. And mainly, to satisfy our nosiness (I know I'm not alone !)

OP posts:
yeOldeTrout · 20/09/2015 20:11

There are loads of official websites to look the type of info up that OP is asking about.

I paid my own tuition fees, my (financially comfortable) parents wanted me to pay rent so I moved out, I didn't have an earning boyf. much less the desire to be a home-owner while still in my early 20s, I will never earn as much as OP. I have never prioritised shopping or eating out. I accidentally immigrated when I was 24 that's how far away I was from having "a career."

So I don't have any advice to offer.

yeOldeTrout · 20/09/2015 20:12

ps: talk to Xenia. She probably gives loads of investment advice to her lawyer daughters.

PatrickJaneIsRedJohn · 20/09/2015 20:14

I think lawyer. Lots of money. No humility.

TheOriginalMerylStrop · 20/09/2015 20:15

YANBU to wish people were franker, especially in real life when it might matter

But why you feel the need to disclose your finances apropo of nothing, or want others to do the same, I cannot understand. I suppose you are very young and don't quite realise how fortunate you are.

ForeverLivingMyArse · 20/09/2015 20:15

I did notice that button

wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 20:18

I'm 23, so maybe the op and I are just of a different school of thought when it comes to talking about money? The op is supported by her parents, has qualifications and earns 48k a year. I'm not and I don't. Does that make me feel embarrassed or inadequate? No. Certainly not on an anonymous online forum! In real life I talk to family and friends about money all the time. Usually what we are saving for, and getting christmas stuff in etc. If someone I didn't know wanted to discuss money with me, it would depend on their attitude and tone. I don't think op has been disrespectful. If we were all the same, and that included our finances, life would be so boring. Most of you earn more than me, but I think i'm happier than some who are bitter about money. Dp is like this, and it annoys me. Sucks the fun out of enjoying what money you have.

simplysarcastic · 20/09/2015 20:18

I don't have a pot to piss in or the window to throw it through.

Hope this helps OP

laffymeal · 20/09/2015 20:19

Lol at simply

TheOriginalMerylStrop · 20/09/2015 20:20

My one bit of advice would be don't buy with your boyfriend until you have lived together for a while. Don't move in with each other for financial reasons and don't move in with each other until you absolutely cannot bear not to. In fact do all you can to keep separate financial lives as long as possible.

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 20:21

001 thankyou,
I'm going to do that for both scenarios (alone and with bf)

M4 please read my previous posts. I did work throughout uni, not just holidays. I practically save everything I earn (except £300 to still have a life). So don't judge my parents as they are doing what you say you would do , except the private school.

Mrsfrunble I apologise, I did misunderstand. Actually that would be a very interesting thread and yes, I have noticed. Was just hoping for a different response haha.

username financially, would it be better to join up and buy with a larger deposit or to buy individually and have 2 properties which we could then rent one out. I can see that it means we would be paying 2 mortgages and fo longer though - but is it not a worthwhile investment?

wicked thankyou ! And ofcourse I would not sneer - ever. I already have met someone, just not sure on the best way to go on buying (together or alone). Yes my parents have paid off the mortgage and I do get paid monthly. Thankyou for your advice, I might halve my disposable income first and see how that goes. If successful, then I could taper off monthly until I buy? Thanks again

001 thanks, I'll try what uve written above

bear I want to learn from others. I want a family and a house. People here , those lucky enough, have a family and a house.

goldglitter thankyou !

001 Very naive here but can I not buy a house a first time buyer and then if I move im with my boyfriend (in his house) rent it out? Would I have to change the mortgage to do so ? The issues you've mentioned are also my worries. I think the plan is (we would combine finances) pay both mortgages 'together'.

wicked thankyou. I've done that before so it won't be hard for me ! It's only 7 more months so I should be fine in regards to not buying cosmetics and clothes.

OP posts:
wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 20:24

Simply, it helps me. Things can only get better! Right..? Want the lend of a pot and a window? Those I do have thank fuck. Know people who still have outside loo's. It's bad craic.

lorelei9 · 20/09/2015 20:24

I would also say don't buy with your BF
you can afford to be independent so enjoy it.

re the Santander and the £20k limit - I should have been clearer but I was imagining that you probably knew about this stuff on account of having a large income - there are other current accounts offering a better deal than savings accounts, so your £70k can be split up among those and ready instantly IF you need access to them.

as I said before, your attitude to risk is key if you want to invest in shares and so on.

I don't earn much but I love talking about money for some reason. I think you would have got a better response posting in Money Matters than AIBU.

00100001 · 20/09/2015 20:25

Go and talk to a mortgage advisor,they are free of charge and will be able to answer all your questions :)

shutupanddance · 20/09/2015 20:26

While were being open, what do you do for acliving op?

TheOriginalMerylStrop · 20/09/2015 20:27

good question shutupanddance

00100001 · 20/09/2015 20:28

Its easy enough to get a ball park figure for how much you can borrow.

Just remember to not borrow everything you can.if you're using all your savings as a deposit, you need to (as PP said) build up your savings again to have that safety net.

KitKat1985 · 20/09/2015 20:28

I'm guessing lawyer. I have a friend like this. She thinks nothing of spending £100 on lunch. It's mad.

00100001 · 20/09/2015 20:29

Only mad if she can't afford it.

winchester1 · 20/09/2015 20:31

If you rent put you property you need to have a btl mortgage and diff insurance than on a property you live in.

wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 20:31

I think if you bought a home, then one day wanted to move, the mortgage would be the same, but your insurance would have to change?

Could you try to get a free consultation (some places offer free half hours) with a solicitor who would know the ins and outs legally? Write down a list of questions to ask.

winchester1 · 20/09/2015 20:33

You should also always have a safety net of savings for your btl for vacancies, repairs. Damage etc.

BigChocFrenzy · 20/09/2015 20:37
Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 20:38

Caprini I believe that to be true aswell. So men get paid more because women don't know what's possible. And yes, I use up my ISA allowance but will look into more areas.

Winchester I don't really plan on marrying although kids are very much wanted. But you seem to be on my side regarding hoe to buy ; that we buy separately and do our won thing financially. Thanks again

bear nowhere did I say 'only'. I was asked and answered. You sound rather miserable to be honest - I won't be replying to anymore of your comments.

username thankyou. Basically, I need to have a thorough talk with my parents and see someone professional about it. I have just been blinkered with the house but will look at other ways to invest. Funnily enough, I know quite a bit about this but am lazy to apply it to my own life it seems. I'm just scared about risk when It comes to my money. Thanks again

patrick I have enough crap from the details I revealed in my OP, I don't need more - that's why.

OP posts:
Usernamegone · 20/09/2015 20:39

You should go and speak to a mortgage broker/advisor. If you have a residential mortgage you cannot just let out your house (as this would be a breach of your mortgage terms). You would have to contact the mortgage company and ask for consent to let. If your mortgage company let you do this it will often need to be reviewed a year at a time and they may charge you and/or hike the interest rate.

If you buy your own house and then move in with your BF you could then try to get a BTL mortgage but the interest rates tend to be higher and I think the government is changing tax relief on mortgage payments which may make BTL less profitable.

MinecraftWonder · 20/09/2015 20:46

Our household income is about £45k, which has recently dropped as dh has just taken a £10k paycut to get out of a job which he despised.

2dc, aged 29, we have £70k left on our mortgage (bought ten years ago, very early...everyone thought we were nuts at the time).

We had a shed load of debt from our young and stupid years, which is thankfully just about to be paid off but has been a serious weight over the past few years.

Currently fucked for money for September and October due to DH's new job...in his old job he was paid a month in advance, and his new job is a month in arrears. Meaning our income is down about £1k this month and we have no savings to save us, so we'll be missing our first mortgage payment ever.

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