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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to talk frankly about money !

337 replies

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 18:27

I don't understand why on this site , and even in rl, people are so shy to talk about money. Including myself, hence the name change !

So I'm inviting everyone to talk money. Feel free to name change if you feel uncomfortable. I feel knowing where other people stand and how they live (e.g. budgets, priorities) can be helpful for everyone. I'll start ;

Have a bf, no children, 24 years old
Earn £48k a year
Live at home with my parents whilst I save up, so no rent. No car either.
Spend £330 a month on transport
Save £2.2k a month for deposit (the £200 may sometimes get spent so im not strict on that)
Have £300 disposable income
Priority order; a home, holidays, shopping, eating out (if im honest, this is probably first Blush )

I know I can't police it, but can this thread please be free from negative comments. Feel free to ask questions so people can also get ideas on how to maximise income, savings etc. And mainly, to satisfy our nosiness (I know I'm not alone !)

OP posts:
Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 19:50

winchester so many, I don't know where to dart. But the most pressing one one for me now is homeownership. From your experience, would you recommend that my bf and I buy a homes separately and then work to pay those off together. This would mean we have extra income coming from one house (which we rent out) but would take us longer to pay off the mortgage. Secondly, did you buy a house and then focus on growing your personal savings or did you do both at the same? Thankyou and hope you don't mind

OP posts:
M4blues · 20/09/2015 19:50

Which bit do you disagree with? Dh alone earns more than 3x the op. We have my salary on top although it's a little less than op. We will pay 3 lots of school fees and help our DCs at university. However, we will expect them to work throughout their holidays like we did. Although we will support more in their final year to allow them to work less. We will happily support them at home whilst they save after university if they are saving almost everything towards their deposit. Not going out to expensive restaurants or buying expensive clothes.

They will always have a home here but adults must take financial responsibility for themselves.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 19:51

Yes Liney I did, and its not something I would consider allowing even for a millisecond for DS.

Cabrinha · 20/09/2015 19:51

I've just made a very Hmm post about the OP being patronising.

But I have a child, and if I didn't need a contribution, and loved having her home with me, I expect I'd happily take no money from her - if I knew she was saving it and not pissing it away.

As long as there'd been ONE conversation where she'd offered, and I knew she didn't take it for granted.

If the OP is saving the vast majority of her income, I don't think it's fair to say she needs to pay rent to understand money management. Some - most? - people get it instantly: add up what comes in, arrange your life so that it's the same or more than comes in. Obviously life can go tits up... But you don't have to pay rent to your parents to understand that. I moved out at 16 and having never paid rent to my parents (understandably!) had no problem whatsoever with the concept of budgeting. A problem with the reality, money was tight! But no conceptual issue.

Mrsfrumble · 20/09/2015 19:52

I think you misunderstood me OP. I thought, from the title and it's location in AIBU, that the thread might be a call to talk frankly about money in relation to tackling poverty and inequality, and maybe dispelling some myths about benefits and stuff. Which would be interesting.

But when it comes to general nosiness about what people earn and what they spend their money on, I just wanted to point out that not everyone feels that curiosity and therefore aren't holding back through fear or politeness.

There's actually a money topic here in MN where you'll probably find some great advice on saving and budgeting. AIBU isn't really the best place to discuss this kind of thing (in my opinion) because things get very emotive and bun-fighty very quickly, as you can see for yourself.

Usernamegone · 20/09/2015 19:52

If you buy a house with your BF you can buy it as tenants in common whereby each of you own a defined % of the property. You should also get a declaration of trust drawn up to protect your (and his) interest in the property.

wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 19:52

I do wonder why someone who is 24, earns £48k and lives with mummy and daddy feels the need to start a thread like this though.

Bit rude imo. I don't have two £5 notes to rub together atm, but trusting op to not sneer or be offensive about it. I'm not ashamed of being skint. My son has warm clean clothes, food, gas, electric and tons of books and random toys. I'm assuming op's parents are like dh's and have already paid off mortgage?

Op sounds to me like you could be saving way more, you could set yourself a strict budget for the month (do you get paid monthly?), and emergencies aside, stick to it for a set amount of time (3 months?) and see how much you can put away when you really try.

Do you want to live at home until you meet someone, and choose a home together, or do you want a small starter home for just you that you can sell on or upgrade one day?

00100001 · 20/09/2015 19:53

There's nothing wrong with eating out. But if you refuse to change your lifestyle in order to save more money. Basically if you want to save more, you need to spend less. So if you don't want to spend less, I fail to see how you will save any more money each month than you already do.

You will have to look at how to get your existing savings doing more

KitKatCustard · 20/09/2015 19:56

Thank you thick and thin . my experience doesn't seem very valued at the moment which is rather sad (charity sector) My DH is on ESA, so income is very little.
We are selling our house and moving to a cheaper area ( wherever we can get part time work).

Unless, of course, the OP would like to send us a sub with her spare £2k a month?

Bearbehind · 20/09/2015 19:57

It was rude wickedlazy and deservedly so IMO.

I really don't understand the OP's motives unless she is a journalist

She has absolute nothing in common with the target audience here.

Her income and outgoings can't possibly be compared with someone with a family and children so why post here?

goldglittershitter · 20/09/2015 19:58

Think OP is getting a really hard time here! She is merely asking questions, if they make u uncomfortable don't answer? Don't get it.

00100001 · 20/09/2015 19:59

Tiu probably wouldn't be able to get a Buy ToLet mortgage as a first time buyer so this magic plan of renting it out won't work.

You'd do better buying your own house for you. Then maybe try living with BF before buying a house together. That's a huge commitment.

Even if you rent one out, and say live at your BFs house, will you be contributing to his mortgage? If so you need to get some sort of ownership.
If in were you, I'd buy for me. And see how BF plays out, then maaaaybe look at buying together later on

LineyReborn · 20/09/2015 20:02

It's AIBU?

Original poster
Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 20:02

001 I'm doing my best but night have missed some. I'm saving for 7 more months. I've got just under £70k saved up and my goal is £85k. If I could save more by my 25th, whikst still having a life, then that's obviously better.

themother wow a PHD in your teens. Too late for me but that's really amazing. Wow.

Bear ok

M4 for goodness sake it was a joke, saving for home is my priority, though eating out takes up my most of my disposable income. But that's what disposable income is for. I'm saving for a house and hopefully will be able to buy one soon.

whatthefox it has satisfied my nosiness, thankyou. And no it hadn't helped me but that's fine - at this moment I'm mostly interested in savings and houses (would need to know salary though to see if that's even possible for me(or us if we combine) to attempt)

OP posts:
wickedlazy · 20/09/2015 20:02

You need to write down what you need. If you earn 48k I imagine you have to look professional so: Cosmetics what is the cheapest you can get away with Clothes: don't buy any more until you've worn everything you own at least 3 times. Bath and shower stuff/razors/tweezers etc: Again, spend as little as possible. Look at different brands.

If you buy in bulk/buy ahead it usually works out cheaper. For everything. Always shop around before you buy a big ticket item. Don't buy the first tv/car etc you see.

Caprinihahahaha · 20/09/2015 20:02

If you want advice it would be to save and not borrow.
Start a pension now. My children all have pensions started already. Also get some isa savings going.
Don't sit there rent free
and fail to take advantage that.

I used to think that keeping quiet about salary/money was being discreet. Someone very sensible on here told me off and said that not talking about money is part of the reason women end up being paid less than men.

PinguForPresident · 20/09/2015 20:04

It's just awfully vulgar, posting a barely-stealth-at-all boast about one's income, isn't it? Vulgar and not a little childish.

winchester1 · 20/09/2015 20:04

I brought my house, cleared my mortgage and then saved although I kept an emergency fund throughout. Once I knew I was ok i spent that on returning so I could change it to a btl.

Oh brought a shit tip and renovated it himself while working two jobs. He had saved a lot beforehand and tried to not spend it all.

We didn't know each other at the time.

If you want joint finances get married this is more important than you realise esp if you plan kids later.
Purely financial I'd work out a budget, buy a cheap place of your own, work on cutting your living costs as this is more important than saving if you want to retire early.

Let your bf do his own thing house wise if he is similar to you with family and earnings I assume his patents would prefer you keep things separate until marriage anyway.

Bearbehind · 20/09/2015 20:07

This is actually hysterical now.

Whoah is me. I've only got £70k saved at the aged of 24 with an income of £48k- what am I to do?

Take a look around OP.

Do you really think this is appropriate?

Usernamegone · 20/09/2015 20:07

This is why you need some proper financial advice (not mumsnet).

Whilst in many ways it is good to put down as much money as possible as a deposit you need to remember that you won't be able access that money if you need it (as it will be the equity in your house).

For instance I have a mortgage where I can overpay by 10% per year without penalty.
I also have a pension which I pay 5% of my salary and my employer pays 7%. So I get a 12% contribution for 5%.
I also pay into the companies share save scheme and a used to pay into the SIP scheme which was buy 2 shares get one free
I also have some shares I recieve dividends from (much higher return than my isa) and I also pay money into my ISA every month.

Basically I have my savings in various places (and various levels of risk) some of which I can get at easily if need be.

PatrickJaneIsRedJohn · 20/09/2015 20:08

Why won't you say what you do? Seen as how you want us all to be so open?

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 20:09

Moneyexpose thank you, it came at a huge (non financial) price though. Throughout life I have tried to keep in mind that everything we do, every decision we make, all of it comes are a price, you just have to decide if it's a price you're willing to pay.

ButtonMoon88 · 20/09/2015 20:10

The only question you won't answer is what you do...

ButtonMoon88 · 20/09/2015 20:10

Oh sorry cross post, my guess marketing

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 20:11

*at not are.