Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to talk frankly about money !

337 replies

Moneyexpose · 20/09/2015 18:27

I don't understand why on this site , and even in rl, people are so shy to talk about money. Including myself, hence the name change !

So I'm inviting everyone to talk money. Feel free to name change if you feel uncomfortable. I feel knowing where other people stand and how they live (e.g. budgets, priorities) can be helpful for everyone. I'll start ;

Have a bf, no children, 24 years old
Earn £48k a year
Live at home with my parents whilst I save up, so no rent. No car either.
Spend £330 a month on transport
Save £2.2k a month for deposit (the £200 may sometimes get spent so im not strict on that)
Have £300 disposable income
Priority order; a home, holidays, shopping, eating out (if im honest, this is probably first Blush )

I know I can't police it, but can this thread please be free from negative comments. Feel free to ask questions so people can also get ideas on how to maximise income, savings etc. And mainly, to satisfy our nosiness (I know I'm not alone !)

OP posts:
Permanentlyexhausted · 20/09/2015 22:45

Perhaps the OP could donate the 'rent' she doesn't pay to her parents (which it seems she would love to pay if only they would accept it) to a charity for the homeless or to a food bank.

Blackcloudsbrightsky · 20/09/2015 22:46

You don't know she doesn't donate to charity.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 22:48

Not to forget that apparently she lacks integrity, has no class, is vulgar, is naieve... The insults and insinuations go on.

You could say the same about most issues - that posts about pregnancy are rubbing salt for those who've lost children, that threads reminiscing about childhoods rubs salt for those with bad memories, almost every thread will offend/trigger someone.

Moneyexpose you're welcome, losing a child is always horrendous.

Permanentlyexhausted · 20/09/2015 22:49

No, I don't know that Black but equally, I didn't suggest that she didn't. I merely suggested that the rent her parents won't accept could be sent to a charity.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 22:51

We personally don't donate any money to charity, why should the OP (she may already) when she's saving up to buy a house and trying to manovere herself into a good position for the future?

MrsCorbyn · 20/09/2015 23:00

Is it worth posting or is everyone just lambasting the OP?

Spectre8 · 20/09/2015 23:04

Moneyexpose best lesson I learnt is not to share too much info regarding your finances to anyone other than family and real close friends because people just get jealous really easily and you'll hear it in their comments etc. I get it now about how I at 33 afforded my house but when I tell them the sacrifices I made they don't believe me ...that is because they say they wouldn't make the same choice when it comes down to it . I would especially avoid that talk at work amongst colleagues because in my experience people will make comments (often beind your back) saying how you don't really need a pay rise because you have lots of money etc. Been there, seen it and heard it happen too many times.

I don't see any harm in asking on an anonymous forum where no-one knows who you are in real life.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 20/09/2015 23:18

Ok - dh and I are in our mid 30s, 2 kids, 2 careers, no mortgage. (Paid off by regularly over paying - nothing fancy.)

We made the decision that we wanted to be together permanently very young and married in our very early 20s. Since then we have always combined money completely. Can't imagine doing it any other way. Bought our first house just over a year after marriage (didn't live together pre marriage, rented until then).

Made the decision that other than borrowing some money from parents for deposit (paid back within a year) that we would not take money from them. Mine in particular are wealthy and we had to be very firm on this as they wanted to but it is important to us to be - well - adults.

Biggest piece of advice though is to think about what you actually want from life and get on with it. All this delaying is daft - you have the deposit and income now to live with your boyfriend which is presumably what you want - why the hell aren't you? Being sensible is great - I am sensible - but I had a friend who was very very sensible. She died last year. Aged thirty bloody four.

Any of that even vaguely useful?

Paddletonio · 20/09/2015 23:19

My close friends and I talk very openly about money to each other and I don't think it's that taboo. We all know each other's salaries, savings etc and it's because we talked together about job options and salaries when starting out in careers and continued to when moving to new roles. Also high rents (especially in London) and saving for deposits etc is such a big part of our lives at this age so we find it natural to talk about it. We only talk about this within the "inner circle" though - I wouldn't bring it up with acquaintances!

I earn roughly the same as you but my take home is quite a bit lower. I see you don't have student loan repayments so that partly explains it - are you also not signed up to a pension scheme?

As someone else said above, if you are in a rising market the general advice would be to buy as soon as you can as prices will keep on going up faster than you can save (though as you're saving so much each month I'm not sure if that really applies!)

I'm not sure what other tips people can give you really - sounds like you are in a very good position.

LittleLionMansMummy · 20/09/2015 23:26

We personally don't donate any money to charity, why should the OP

Oh I dunno TheMotherOf - social conscience perhaps? Op saves a huge amount so a fiver a month (what I give to my chosen charity) isn't going to break the bank is it (or delay the mortgage by months)?

But to answer the op:

I left a top tier uni in 2000 and got a job for just £8k, basically for the love of it. I contributed to my parents' household as i was living at home and paid my dad back every penny of a £1k loan to purchase my first car. My then bf and I ended up renting when I got a (slight) promotion. I am so pleased I didn't buy with him as we soon separated. My dh and I have been together 13 years and we have a 4yo ds.

I was recently made redundant having worked in the same industry for 12 years and walked away with a lump sum the kind I've never seen before. I walked into another job and am paid £45k. For the first time i can remember we are not worrying about money and can afford to do some work on the house. We are comfortable and can put money aside each month for family holidays etc.

I made my own luck without handouts and believe I have quite a healthy attitude to money and other people as a result. I also think I've earned the right to splash out a bit on the people I love. My parents taught me the value of money, independence and self sufficiency. They weren't loaded by any means but also instilled a social conscience in me - there's always someone worse/ better off. Some deserve to be, some don't. Op I would hope that as you achieve your goals - financial and otherwise - in life you will also understand that it can all be lost on the toss of a coin. I hope your parents will have equipped you with the resilience to bounce back if you ever find yourself in that situation.

Unreasonablebetty · 20/09/2015 23:40

I am the same age as you op- our household income is about £4537+ based on average calculations this is based on me bringing home a pretty crap part time wage and my husband is a skilled trade so he brings home bulk of this. In the next year he will make this alone.
All of this is accounted for by the time we've paid childcare, taken into account extra expenses that arise with my health conditions and our day to day bills,
If you can actively save, do not break this habit. Husband and I are crap at saving

dodgeballqueen · 20/09/2015 23:55

You don't seem to be as open about saying what you do for a living as you do about how much you earn OP.

What do you do for a living?

Spectre8 · 21/09/2015 00:01

Op is asking anyone to be open about what job they do. Her job whatever it is isn't relevant. So why does anyone need to know that? Maybe she doesn't want to say it because as I said before it comes across as though people want waiting to pounce on it and use it to have another pop at OP.

I don't tell people what job I do because the moment I utter it people come out with their pre-judged, ill-thought, insulting comments and quite frankly they couldn't be any further from the truth.

Spectre8 · 21/09/2015 00:01

OP isn't asking*

dodgeballqueen · 21/09/2015 00:07

It is relevant because what she does for a living is directly connected to her finances, and the OP comments in her opening post that she can't understand people's lack of openness. She says this thread has been started on the basis of being helpful. Perhaps it will be held up to other people to know what she does for a living which has enabled her to save £7k b the age of 24.

Spectre8 · 21/09/2015 00:11

No OP was saying why people are not open about talking about money...I don't see a general why people are not open comment there.

It really isn't relevant whatsoever. Whether she is a lawyer,doctor,civil servant, manager it doesn't matter when it comes to talking about money. She earns x irrespective of what that title is and has therefore allowed her to save x not because she is say a doctor but because she does not pay x,y,z which allows her to save x.

dodgeballqueen · 21/09/2015 00:14

Of course it's relevant when it comes to talking about money! It is directly connected to your finances.

JohnCusacksWife · 21/09/2015 00:15

Not quite sure why you're getting so much flack, OP. I'm mid 40s, part time professional job, DH skilled tradesman, 2 DCs. Our combined earnings are a bit less than yours. My (v basic) advice would be if you're not married buy on your own. Think carefully about what your priorities are - we've opted to stay in a smaller house but pay more off the mortgage. I'd rather be mortgage free sooner and be able to indulge my other interests than have a bigger house and be paying it off for longer. Overpay your mortgage each month - it's a good discipline to get into and makes a surprising difference to your mortgage term. Join your workplace pension esp if your employer contributes. Keep up the savings habit & max out your isa, if you can. Pay off your credit card every month. Don't take out car loans. All v basic but it's served us well over the years.

TracyBarlow · 21/09/2015 00:18

I am a journalist. I can confirm that the OP is not a journalist if she earns 48k. Grin

TracyBarlow · 21/09/2015 00:20

Actually, even if she were two journalists she still wouldn't earn 48k Grin

Spectre8 · 21/09/2015 00:25

So why do you need to know dodgeballqueen...how is you knowing what she does going to help exactly?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 21/09/2015 00:28

If you want advice from posters who are where you want to be then you need to be:
clear about where you want to be
in possession of a time machine

Do you want to be very very rich? Have 5 dc? Get a good work life balance? Start your own business? Be a sahm? There are too many variables.
But saying you save in excess of 2k pm but need 300pm to have a life when many posters have less to buy food is crass.
Ask for hints to achieve something. But don't dress it up as honesty about finances.

jevoudrais · 21/09/2015 00:30

I think it's the NC and wording of the original post which has done this no favours. I struggle to know what the intention behind it was.

If it were more 'how much is your house insurance' or 'how much disposable income do you have left after bills' it would be a more direct comparison and seem there was a specific (more politically acceptable) reason in mind. I also don't have the energy to write out that many answers at this time.

I personally find it I s people who have done very well from themselves who hold back, because they don't tend to want to brag. From those I know, anyway.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 21/09/2015 00:32

*sorry my time machine comment was largely about house prices since presumably the majority of posters with dc bought at lower prices or are stuck in rental. Most people here aren't 24, living rent free, earning great salaries, child free and in the market for a house.

CerseiHeartsJaime4ever · 21/09/2015 00:49

My friends/family don't talk about their wage or how they spend their money because there are better things to talk about.

It just sounds crass, shallow, ill mannered and mercenary to talk about money when you could be talking about so many other interesting things.

Its small minded, frankly.