Should children be encouraged to offer their seats to adults?

[cornflowers]

At ds's gymnatics class, the parents all wait upstairs and watch from a sort of balcony. There aren't enough seats for everyone, so unless you're slightly early (almost never happens in my case!) you can't be sure of a seat. A lot of parents bring other dc along with them, so there are often several children in seats while adults are left to stand. This week, one little boy (approx 3-4 yrs) was alternately sitting on the floor/standing but had put three soft toys on his seat. I'd had an exhausting day & my back was aching from standing up for so long, so I asked the dm of this child whether I could sit in the chair occupied by the soft toys. She said, "Sorry, no, we're using that." AIBU to think that small children can sit on their parents laps in situations like this, and that adults should be offered a seat?

Oh, another one

I'd be happy to stand while a child sat on a seat. I wouldn't be happy to stand while a cuddly toy say on a seat.

No, unless an adult has a genuine need (see: elderly, disabled, illness or pregnant). Feeling a 'bit tired' doesn't mean anything, better a child be sat behaving than squirming on a lap or messing around on the floor. However, soft toys/bags do not need a chair, I would have moved them and sat down. If you know you can't get a seat, bring a cheap fold-down one, perhaps?

There was a thread recently. Most people thought that children should not have to give up their seat and I agree.

Another what superman ? Sorry, you've lost me...

Oh please, not AGAIN.

Ah, ok, haven't seen the other thread.

Can you get there earlier?

Do you have a disability that means you can't sit on the floor yourself?

Dc should be taught to offer their seat to those in need I.e. Elderly, disabled, pregnant, carrying small children etc.
I dont think they should have to give up seats to adults in general but you were right to object to the toys taking up a seat,

Whether you think kids should stand up for adults or adults should stand up for children, or it should be first come first served, I think we can all agree that no-one should stand so that some cuddly toys can have a comfortable seat.

Maybe I am old fashioned but I was brought up to stand up for an adult in need. That need might not have been glaringly obvious to me but I stood up and kept still.

Next time through the toys over the balcony and sit down - spoilt brat.

throw

We used to do a class like this when we lived in London. The balcony was really small and there were about 5 chairs, my friend and I just started getting there really early. My friend bought a fold up stool. Genius solution.

I was taught as a child to offer my seat to an adult and would expect my children to do the same especially when they are young enough to sit on my lap the only time I wouldn't is on a moving train.

Not just because they're children, no.

However in the circumstances you describe, the child should have either sat on the seat or let you have it.

If you'd explained, when asking, that you were in pain, as you did in op, I'd have either moved dc and his stuff or given you my seat.

I'd certainly be grateful if anyone offered to stand for me. I have a replacement hip and can't sit on a floor.
I'd certainly be moving soft toys out of the way.

laffy and superman so rude.

I've been on MN a long time now. There is very rarely a completely original thread. Lots of things come up in a cyclical basis.

If you are bored of the topic just don't answer the thread.

It's always dependent on context. Should a healthy 9 year old stand up to let an elderly man sit down? Yes, almost certainly. Should a tired out toddler with a cough stand up to let a healthy young woman sit down? No, almost certainly not. The only blanket rule here is that soft toys don't get a seat over a human being. The mother was very rude: I'd have told my DC they had to move their toys, and had the child on my lap if they wanted a seat later. But some people have no manners.

If that exact situation happened again, I'd not even ask, I'd just pick up the toys, put them on the floor and sit in the seat. Hard to argue once you're in it. The one way to get round this, though, is as you've said yourself: get there early and you'll be able to have a seat.

Toddlers can sit on their parent's lap (and have a cuddle).

Why is it now not the norm for children to stand/give up seats for adults?

My blanket rule is that I expect people in less need of seat should give up their seat to someone more in need - though granted it isn;t always obvious which is which.

My 9 year old leaps up to give any adult his seat - he's keen to prove he doesn't need to sit!

Cuddly toys are always less in need of a seat. And on the whole 3 year old fit comfortably on laps if they're tired.

I was brought up to give up my seat for an adult. Why is this not right anymore?

Nope unless, as others have said, there is a genuine need. We doing live in the UK, and where we are nobody would think to ask a child to give up a seat (again, unless genuine need), that would be seen as extremely selfish and rude.

Clearly you needed the seat more then the stuffed toys so you were not being unreasonable at all and the mum was unreasonable and rude. If the child had been sitting in the chair, it becomes a bit more complicated but, like others, I was brought up to offer my seat to adults - rightly or wrongly - and I brought up my children to do the same.

YANBU.

His mother should have told him to sit on her knee so you could have a seat.

I think children should generally give up seats for adults.