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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think DP is disgusting for doing this?

120 replies

FishFace99 · 19/09/2015 10:47

I have suffered from OCD in the past so I'm aware I could be overreacting here and your perspective will be taken on board.

DP does (or fails to do) a number of things which I see as disgusting, but he thinks I'm being a nag and there's no issue. For example, in the past 24 hrs:

I asked him to run a bath for the kids. He knows I always clean it first but thinks that's unnecessary. It hasn't been cleaned for a week because we've all had showers all week, but the shower is over the bath so I think it needs cleaning because there are hairs etc from showering. He then takes the baby's nappy off and puts her straight in the bath even though she's done a poo. The other dc are asking to get out because there's bits of poo floating around, DP shouts at them when they say he should have wiped baby first saying the point of the bath is to clean her.

He uses the same cloth we use for the highchair and worktops to wipe the floor and bin.

He doesn't use a sponge or cloth to wash up, just dunks things and gives it a quick rub with his fingers.

He doesn't wash baby's hands before giving her food.

He doesn't think 3 yo needs to wash her hands after going to the toilet.

Last night we had our dog, cats, rabbits and chickens out in the back garden who obviously all poo. DP put the crawling baby on the lawn this morning to crawl around without doing anything about the poo. I just arrived to find her putting grass with chicken poo in her mouth.

I could go on. Aibu to think he is disgusting?

OP posts:

Desertedislander · 19/09/2015 22:17

It turns my stomach to think that you have hairs all over your bath. Don't you rinse it after a shower? I've got to get off this thread.

Original poster

FishFace99 · 19/09/2015 22:19

Thanks for your replies - glad to hear I'm not being over the top. Today he let the dog out, watched him dig up and eat cat poo then let him lick the baby's hands after she'd been eating and didn't think to wash them. He spilt water on the floor and wiped it up with the tea towel which he then dried a cup with to drink from. He let the baby mouth a pipe he uses for cleaning his fish tank, and the fish food lid. He didn't stop baby putting sand and water in her mouth outside. He stood by as baby stood holding onto the toilet seat and trying to reach the water. All this and he was out for half the day. I just despair. I shouldn't have to tell him these things are wrong, surely? He isn't doing it to wind me up, he genuinely sees no problem there.

OP posts:

EmeraldKitten · 19/09/2015 22:21

The poo in the bath sounds disgusting.

But I have to admit, when mine were babies, if I was cleaning a pooey nappy just before a bath, I never cleaned them as...thoroughly...as I would usually. With the background thought that they were just about to be bathed anyway.

Hmm...people have different levels of what they find disgusting I suppose. ^ that would probably be too much for some (or many/most/all).

EmeraldKitten · 19/09/2015 22:22

He spilt water on the floor and wiped it up with the tea towel which he then dried a cup with to drink from

I've done this too

Botanicbaby · 19/09/2015 22:23

You're not a nag, there IS an issue and you're def not BU.

Ugh. What attracted you to him in the first place? His behaviour is a complete turn off and I'd say a risk to your children's health.

ouryve · 19/09/2015 22:29

I don't have OCD and I think he's disgusting.

shutupanddance · 19/09/2015 22:30

He could make your dcs very very ill.

Koalafications · 19/09/2015 22:31

I sincerely hope you ask him to scrub himself down with bleach before you have sex. If he's this lax with his own baby I dread to think what his personal hygiene is like.

Original poster

FishFace99 · 19/09/2015 22:35

Emerald we have a dog and two cats though so that means the tea towel then got a load of hairs stuck to it which he had to pick out of his drink!

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 19/09/2015 22:41

He's disgusting.

ouryve · 19/09/2015 22:53

And having read some of your other threads, he's a disgusting pig in more than just hygiene terms. You need to trap his over active bollocks in his under active wallet and LTB.

MrsTedCrilly · 19/09/2015 23:39

Most of those are grim and I am easy going about hygiene! I thought you were going to list some really OCDish things.

TracyBarlow · 19/09/2015 23:57

Good grief. I'm not big on hygiene really but everything you've listed makes my stomach turn.

Are you sure he's not doing it on purpose just to get at you? It sounds like he's actually goading you.

The worst bit is putting a tiny baby in harm's way. If I saw my husband doing just one of the things you've listed to my tiny crawling baby I'd have him out on his ear. In fact, why not serve up,a steaming turd on a plate for his breakfast tomorrow if he thinks eating shit is ok?

LieselVonTwat · 20/09/2015 10:24

How long he uses a bath towel on himself for is his business, and a few hairs in the bath are not the end of the world. But the rest is at best foul and at worst dangerous. YANBU.

Original poster

FishFace99 · 20/09/2015 10:35

Came out of the shower this morning to find him on his phone in the garden...baby was on her own out of his sight...playing with the dirty nappy he'd changed but not binned. I'm leaving.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 20/09/2015 10:40

Good. About time.

gallicgirl · 20/09/2015 10:43

Nah-- kick him out! He can go cause his own squalor elsewhere.

Vixxfacee · 20/09/2015 10:53

Just read your other threads.
Ltb
He's financially abusive , lazy, filthy, selfish and entitled. You are not happy and your kids aren't safe.

MamaLazarou · 20/09/2015 11:09

I've just read your other threads, OP. I'm sorry. He sounds unbearable and you will be much happier without him. Good luck

emotionsecho · 20/09/2015 12:36

Glad to read you are leaving OP, there is nothing about him or this relationship that sounds bearable or attractive in any way. Good luck, you will be far better off in the long run.

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