To wonder if this happens to anyone else (About people disliking you)?

[IAmTheOP]

I have a nice amount of friends and generally get on with everyone. I'd say I am a fairly popular person. I'm not a mean person or a bitch and like people and getting on with others.

However, every so often I will come across someone who absolutely hates me for reasons that I do not know or for very petty reasons, and will go out of their way to make my life a misery and to be nasty to and about me. I don't mind if people don't like me but I always seem to get the nasty ones that won't just leave things alone and are like a dog with a bone where I'm concerned.

Some examples:

When my youngest child was little I joined a FB forum for mums that had their babies around the same time. One weekend we all had a big weekend away together so we could all meet and have a night out.

From the instant that she met me, one mum decided that she did not like me and spent the whole weekend being an absolute bitch to me and/or bitching about me loudly to anyone that would listen. When the weekend finished she was such an arse to me on the group and so nasty that in the end I left the group as everyone seemed to think it was just a personality clash and no one actually stuck up for me when she was being horrible.

I have a 9 year old DD; for a couple of years at school initially she was friends with another girl. However in year 2 the girls were not in the same class and inevitably DD made other friends. I tried to keep the friendship going between the girl and DD though, inviting her round here when I could. The other mum however did not like DD having other friends and it all culminated in her phoning me up and shouting at me down the phone and telling me never to talk to her again. Fair enough, whatever, but since then she has been constantly bitchy towards me, making loud comments to others at school drop off and pick up, glaring at me, and bitching about me to anyone that will listen and saying how she hates me.

I did have this at school too; I was disliked immensly by one girl in my year, who wouldn't just leave it at not liking me, she hassled me for my entire 5 years at secondary school and made comments, etc.

Does anyone else get this? Like I said, I consider myself quite popular and have lots of friends and a good social life, but I also seem to attract rather extreme haters!

I get this as well OP.

I think it's because I'm a fairly quiet person normally, lacked confidence when I was younger, gained a bit later on but went through a difficult few years recently that really knocked it again.

I seemed to attract bullies and dickheads basically. Throughout my life, if there's been a gobby twat in the vicinity, they have zeroed in on me to be the person they pick on.

I do think that being a quiet person who lacks confidence can make me come across as a bit stand-offish, but I try to work on that, I talk to people, I smile at people, I'm nice to people.

The trouble is, the gobby twats, dickheads and bullies never look at themselves in the same way and try to work on being decent people themselves.

I did some work on personal development and self-awareness and had some real revelations about myself, and it has helped me to realise that I can't drastically change my personality, but I can be quietly friendly and decent to people and give them a chance without making judgements or assumptions about them first.

If they can't do the same for me, the problem is them rather than me, and I can't change their behaviour but I don't have to accept it if they are being really unpleasant or rude.

I posted on here recently about a school mum who has been unpleasant and smirky towards me from the start of school. She's never said anything directly too me, just ignored me if I spoke to her or sneered from a distance. Lots of looking over at me and laughing or smirking.

But she recently stopped me in the shop near school and said "why do you always look so miserable?" and I surprised myself by saying "I can't help it, I have resting bitch face. Unlike you, you've got active bitch face and put real effort into it." The bloke behind the counter laughed and I got to walk away and leave her standing with nothing to say in reply. I really hope that she thought of the perfect comeback three hours too late, which is normally what happens to me.

So now she has a real reason to dislike me, but the sneering has stopped. She never looks in my direction now.

Nobody likes everybody, but some people just have to be a twat about it and let everybody know.

Thankyou!

I am going through this at the moment, first session one person took a dislike to me and I wasn't too bothered, next session she turned someone I had been talking with a lot, now it's the whole group and they are really making it obvious. It's like being back at school I am dreading next few weeks until it has finished.

This thread has really helped me, seeing that I'm not alone! Read the first page and then had to post, going to read the rest now

I have found as I have got older that I don't care if people don't like me, I don't like them either I find.

Love the resting bitch/active bitch face comments, suspect I have the former.

Find workplace hatreds the worst, very difficult to deal with especially if the hater is in a position of power. The threat of a visit to the unon usually does the trick.

or union even!

I have just left a job because of someone actively disliking me and manipulating others. Behaviour included eye rolling, sniggering when I said things in meetings, being excluded from social events to downright rudeness to my face.

I tried to discuss it with our manager and get help, he was useless and told me I was being too sensitive. Oh the irony as she is also being a bitch about him and perpetually undermines his decisions. It all started when I slightly defended him when there was a slagfest about him.

I think there's always a reason - it just might not be rational, or your fault.

Maybe their DH has said you're pretty, or maybe in the work setting someone has praised your work or suggested you'd be ready for a promotion they want. Sometimes you can never know, so no reason to worry too much about it I suppose.

Or, maybe you have said something that has hit a sore spot without knowing - sometimes it's not jealousy, but that as well.

Unfortunately not Little Lion! And luckily no D&V involved either

Exactly right Monkey Your post made me remember a time I took my ds to another child's party and the father was really friendly towards me. The mother of said child has barely looked in my direction ever since

IME not all gobby twits know they are doing it. My most recent episode was with someone at work and OMG she was bloody awful. She constantly corrected me and told me how I could "improve" my job (I have only been doing it 5 years).

The one thing I have learnt is to never wait until someone's behaviour is causing a problem before dealing with it because by then it will have damaged your self esteem. Have an answer ready as for every situation.