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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think women without kids look younger than mums?

111 replies

Cantz77 · 17/09/2015 17:18

I'm in my mid 40's now with 1 kid under 10 and one of 19 years old. I look and feel at least my age (on a good day) and when I look around the women I know who are roughly my age I notice that the only ones who really stand out as being very youthful looking are those who have never had kids. A few I would even say haven't changed since their early 30's while myself and the rest of the mothers seem to have deflated and expanded in all the wrong places since having kids. I noticed this even after having my 1st when I was in my 20's and still young. I think having kids really does take a lasting toll on your looks, not that I regret it I love my kids and would rather look like quasimodo than lose them but it is a bit of a raw deal!

OP posts:

DisappointedOne · 17/09/2015 17:19

I have a 4 year old and am regularly told I look far younger than 37. My mum doesn't look 60 though, so I probably get it from her.

DisappointedOne · 17/09/2015 17:20

(I am surprised by how some old friends have aged though. They all have multiple children though.)

Welshmaenad · 17/09/2015 17:22

I've got two kids and keep getting ID'd for wine.

I'm 34.

TheOriginalWinkly · 17/09/2015 17:22

I feel like I look a lot older than I did when I got pregnant with DD just under 2 years ago. I also think Kate Middleton has aged a lot more than 3 years in the last 3 years, despite all her money and help. It takes one hell of a toll on your body and is incredibly stressful.

I'm still fucking gorgeous though

Original poster

Cantz77 · 17/09/2015 17:22

Perhaps you are lucky disappointedOne, although 37 is still young and it isn't so hard to look younger at that age it is more as you get into your 40's that things really begin to show although certainly in my case I did see a change in my 20's after my 1st.

OP posts:

RabbitSaysWoof · 17/09/2015 17:22

I feel I look older but I think I'm just a bit less polished or something, I used to have more money to spend on myself.

Chchchchangeabout · 17/09/2015 17:23

Not in my circle of friends, some look younger than others among both those with kids and without.

formerbabe · 17/09/2015 17:23

I completely agree op. I have a friend whose 39, has no children and looks amazing. Mums I know of the same age look about 15 years older than she does! I know i've gone downhill since having children

Original poster

Cantz77 · 17/09/2015 17:24

I do agree about Kate M she looks like she needs a long rest but she is still beautiful.

Also women in their early to mid 30's don't know what will hit them as far as aging is concerned so enjoy it to the max!

OP posts:

ApplesTheHare · 17/09/2015 17:25

I look older than before I had DD due to lack of sleep and lack of money to spend on beauty products and treatments and lovely clothes. Wouldn't trade DD in for a younger me though!

Original poster

Cantz77 · 17/09/2015 17:26

I suspect not having the time and money to spend on yourself is part of it and that over time not taking care of the little things adds up so one day you finally look in the mirror and see some old lady staring back at you.

OP posts:

BoyScout · 17/09/2015 17:26

It's the disrupted sleep patterns and the constant worry that does it IMO.

PacificDogwod · 17/09/2015 17:26

I'm 49 and am told I look younger than I am.
I have 4 children.

I dunno. I think it's more to do with genes/sun avoidance/not smoking/good luck rather than ones family status.
Having said that, I'm sure I'd sometimes look less tired without kids.
And I'd probably wear more make-up than I am (which is none, nada, nothing). I am aware I should consider making more of 'an effort', but really cannot be arsed

motherinferior · 17/09/2015 17:26

Well, if you don't have kids you have more sleep and more money and more time. So you're more likely to be in decent nick.

Having said which, I think a lot of it is also luck of the draw.

MamaDuckling · 17/09/2015 17:30

I've definitely aged faster in the last two years since having DS than at any other point in my life.
Agree that less time/money/ inclination to beautify oneself, coupled by lack of sleep snd poor diet (I can't get through a day without numerous sugar hits) are probably to blame.
I'm only 30 but hoping that once my kids are grown I'll be able to reverse some of the damage!

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 17/09/2015 17:35

I think being child free could help you look younger.

You generally get more sleep, hand more time and money to go the gym etc.

For those of you lucky enough to look younger than your age - imagine how young you would look without kids

Sallystyle · 17/09/2015 17:36

When mine were younger I looked tired most of the time.

Now mine are older I have started to care for myself more and I think I look better than I ever have. I am 34. My eldest is 16 and my youngest is 6 but as soon as they became more independent, slept through the night etc I started to look better. I did go through a stage where I looked pretty haggard, for quite a few years.

I have more time for myself now. I had 5 all close together and when they were all so dependant I couldn't find much motivation to make the best of myself.

If I follow my mum and nan's footsteps I won't age too badly. My mum is nearly 60 and looks amazing. Genetics init!

MaelstromOfLunacy · 17/09/2015 17:45

My mum has four and looks far younger than fifty. Hopefully it's genetic!

reni2 · 17/09/2015 17:46

Sometimes mothers look younger than the child free, they are less likely to drink/ smoke/ tan for lack of time and money even if they sleep and groom less.

shebird · 17/09/2015 17:51

If I was able to spend the same time, money and effort on myself that I spend on my DCs I could look amazing too

Whathaveilost · 17/09/2015 17:52

Not necessary tbh.

I'm just thinking in the place where I work the Head of Service, Head of Department and a Director don't have children and they are in their fifties. They are about 4 years older than me but look like they have had a hard paper round ( as we say round here!) One has no style hair, flat style-less shoes and elasticated trousers in polyester. Most of them don't wear make up and don't look like they have a skin care regime.
I couldn't care less what they look like though, i was just responding to the OP about do childless women look better.

GoblinLittleOwl · 17/09/2015 18:35

When I was teaching I noticed that as a mother's children got older she began to look younger: simply more time to spend on appearance; when the children left the school she looked younger than when they started.
Fact.

ISpidersmanYouMeanPirate · 17/09/2015 18:44

I thought this as 4 years of sleep deprivation have really taken their toll...then I saw a colleague who is the same age as me and whom I haven't seen in a couple of years- she looks just as old as I do despite not having DC. Think it's her smoking and drinking.

jorahmormont · 17/09/2015 18:51

I'm 21 with a toddler DD and look younger than all my friends of the same age. Not great when you're this age - constantly get ID'd and everyone assumes I'm her big sister

bulletpoint · 17/09/2015 18:54

Well obviously women who have had kids are more likely to:

Have put on extra weight
Have bigger, saggy bellies
Stretch marks
Increased in boob size
Some have hair thinning as a result of pregnancy
Suffer from lack of sleep (bags under the yes, general weariness)

So on average women who have had kids will look, lets say.. 'less trim' probably older than a group of women of the same age without.

It doesn't mean women with kids can't be slim, radiant and gorgeous! of course they can, some are just lucky bastards, but the majority have to work hard to get back to where they were pre kids.

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