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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be terminating this pregnancy

98 replies

ahtilnextweek · 17/09/2015 11:19

I have found out i am approx 3-4 weeks preg and on phoning today have got an appointment on Tuesday to terminate the pregnancy (was incredibly impressed at how quickly they could give me an appointment)

I'm feeling very matter of fact about the whole thing, i have one dd, am a single working parent starting to advance in my career, yet following a condom break and the morning after pill have found myself in these circumstances.

I'm very much just treating it like a task that needs to be done. Am I being selfish? financially I could not support another child and would feel resentful towards a second child at this stage in my life.

OP posts:
Original poster
ahtilnextweek · 17/09/2015 11:23

anyone?

OP posts:
BigStripeyBastard · 17/09/2015 11:24

Yanbu.

50shadesofmeh · 17/09/2015 11:24

entirely your decision, you do whats right for you and your circumstances .

SlowlyGoingINSAINIA · 17/09/2015 11:24

Do whatever you feel is right for you. Flowers

Nabootique · 17/09/2015 11:25

No one will come on here and say that YABU. This is your own personal decision, albeit a hard one. People have terminations for all sorts of reasons. There is no right reason or wrong reason.

Original poster
ahtilnextweek · 17/09/2015 11:26

thanks all, this feels right, I wouldn't provide a life for another child. I would rather further myself in my career to provide for the child that I do have.

OP posts:
MummyPig24 · 17/09/2015 11:27

It is completely your decision. You need to do what is right for you and your family. I have recently been through this so feel free to PM me if you need advice or even just to talk.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 17/09/2015 11:28

It sounds like you have made a good decision, that is right for you and your dd.Flowers

Original poster
ahtilnextweek · 17/09/2015 11:31

Thank you and mummypig i may well pm you next week as am unsure what goes on for this.

I am now leaving today for a 2 day business conference at which I will be presenting. It's an odd set of circumstances. I had taken tests last week that all came back negative but I just knew.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 17/09/2015 11:35

do what you feel is best for you and your child. you do not need to justify your decision in any way. I hope everything goes smoothly for you Flowers

swimmerforlife · 17/09/2015 11:38

YANBU OP, you need to make the decision that is best for you and your DD.

Take care Flowers

Dawndonnaagain · 17/09/2015 11:39

You are doing what is right for you, that's what is important here.
Flowers

cailindana · 17/09/2015 11:42

I'm not even sure why you're asking. Something went wrong and you're fixing it - it's great that you have the opportunity to do that. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

WhatsTheT · 17/09/2015 11:42

YANBU. Only you can decide what is right for your life.

You've stood by your decision and it feels right for you. Nobody else should tell you how you should feel about the situation.

Flowers
jorahmormont · 17/09/2015 11:44

YANBU to do what is right for you and your DD. Please do not feel that you have to justify yourself in any way (although AIBU threads on abortion rarely turn out well, it may be an idea to ask for the thread to be moved before some of the anti-choicers come on and start giving you a hard time).

Flowers
Waitingimpatient · 17/09/2015 11:46

YANBU

From your OP and later posts it seems obvious you know that as well so not really sure why this needs to be in AIBU? The thread title could be a bit triggering too. It's the sort of thread where pretty much nobody would say YABU as its your choice to make.

I wish you all the best but really don't think this is the right place. Unless you were hoping to start a debate of some sort

5madthings · 17/09/2015 11:47

Yanbu at all.

You are perfectly entitled to make this choice for you, it's your body, your choice.

I hope everything goes smoothly for you xxx

bettyberry · 17/09/2015 11:47

I was you when I just started uni. Condom broke, pos test in first term. I knew knew it was the right thing to do and it was. Trust your instincts.

Its absolutely OK to not feel any sadness after at all just as it is absolutely OK to grieve a little.

BiscuitMillionaire · 17/09/2015 11:47

This is not an appropriate topic for AIBU. What are you hoping for in response? Please get it moved. For one thing, it will be painful to see the thread title for people struggling with infertility.

TheWanderingUterus · 17/09/2015 11:49

YANBU. It sounds like the right decision for you. I have been in a similar position and I made the same choice.
I don't have any time for people who judge on these things.
Your body. Your life. Your choice.

WitchOfAlba · 17/09/2015 11:51

AIBU is a strange place to post it. Presumably you don't want to be told that YABU by the pro-life supporters.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 17/09/2015 11:53

Sounds like the right choice. Are you looking for people to criticise you or to tell you that you are fantastic for being so strong? AIBU is maybe not the forum for this.

But in any case YANBU. Like the 1000's of other women who make this decision, not happily but without regret or procrastination, and don't look back.

PuntasticUsername · 17/09/2015 11:58

YANBU Flowers

LobsterQuadrille · 17/09/2015 11:59

YANBU at all. I was in the same position about 12 years ago - one DD, sole parent - it simply wasn't practical to do anything else. I have never regretted it for a minute. I did have a Mirena coil put in afterwards (although for STI etc use a condom too of course).

ouryve · 17/09/2015 12:01

Of course YANBU.Flowers