to think having a DD who likes dinosaurs or a DS who likes princesses is not something to be 'proud' of?

[MaltaVestrit]

ok, it is slightly FB related.

A friend (someone I used to know but don't see face to face now) has just posted 'so proud that all DDs birthday presents have come from the boys aisle' and it has really pissed me off, for several reasons:

1. I hate this competitive anti gender stereotyping crap
2. surely by calling it the 'boys aisle' you are shooting your own argument in the foot - assuming the point you are trying to make is that there shouldn't be 'boys' and 'girls' toys.

but mainly - what is there to be 'proud' of? Should I be less proud of my DD because she likes dolls? or of my DS because he likes tractors and dinosaurs?

Don't get me wrong, I am proud of my DC for many reasons but how the hell can you be 'proud' that they like a certain type of toy?! Be proud that your DD can list several types of dinosaur by all means, be proud that your DS has just passed his ballet exams - but to just be proud that they are interested in those things in the first place? ODFOD!!

So AIBU to think this is not something to be 'proud' of?

(yes I know IABU to get this annoyed about something on FB, but its not the first like this I've seen)

Yes, it's odd. She's buying into the notion that traditionally female toys are worse than traditionally male toys. I actually think attitudes like this do nothing to forward any movement to ungenderise our DCs childhoods.

Yanbu.

YANBU!

YANBU

I prefer to go with 'I'm so glad DD has such a huge imagination'. YANBU, it is pushing things on to them.

Yanbu.

I hate gender stereotyping, but that doesn't mean I don't ever dress my dd in pink. It just means she sometimes wears blue too, plays with toy cars but also plays with dolls.

Yanbu. IMO parents who stay stuff like this are proud of themselves because they think they're so out there and superior for not conforming.

I have loads of friends who think this way. I'm with you OP.

I was all set to say YABU, but you aren't really.

I have a DD who loves dinosaurs (and princesses, unicorns and fairies - and we won't discuss the time she dressed an inflatable dinosaur in her sister's ballet tutu). I love it. I love the way her mind works and the way her eyes open wide when there's something about dinosaurs on TV.

And also, I'm not a princess/fairy type person, so admittedly I find dinosaur-talk easier than unicorn-talk.

And I'm proud of her, proud of her clever mind and her imagination and her interest in finding things out. But proud because she likes dinosaurs. Not really (other that it means she is taking after me a bit, and what parent doesn't like that)

so proud that all DDs birthday presents have come from the boys aisle

Missing the point. Spectacularly. YANBU.

Seriously got it wrong, haven't they. My fingers would be itching to respond

YANBU

Did she add 'feeling blessed' as well?

Yanbu. Why would u be proud? Neither proud nor ashamed, it just is .

phew, I was beginning to think I was going mad! it just seems like some people are trying to push it too far the other way - as in actively discouraging their DDs from playing with anything 'girly'.

my DD very much loves dolls and dressing up and refuses to wear trousers only skirts. but this morning she was quite happy playing trains.

my DSs love dinosaurs and tractors respectively but yesterday DS2 was dressed up as the little mermaid and he and DS1 were taking the doll for a walk in the pushchair.

surely its all about freedom to play with whatever they want in whatever way (I wont explain about the time elsa and anna were captains of the playmobil pirate ship, or the time that the collection of dinosaurs had a tea party...)

vvviola you have it spot on IMO - its all about the imagination to play their own way.

sighing that is why I am venting on here, so I don't start an argument on FB!

alemonypea not this time, but she was once 'blessed' to have finally found some clothes that weren't pink (why she has such trouble I don't know, I have plenty of non-pink for my DD)

goldglitter exactly!!

I'd say it depends on the age of the child. The gender stereotyping and expectations are very ingrained around, say, age 8 so I would be "proud" if a child of that age chose something different from their friends. The pride comes from having a child that knows their own mind and doesn't feel restrained.

Nothing particular to feel proud of for a 2 or 3 year old that hasn't yet learned the societal e

YANBU, but it's no worse than a great many mn threads along the lines of 'My son just adores playing nicely with dolls and my daughter loves nothing more than leaping over muddy puddles clutching a truck and a dinosaur wearing her favourite Transformers tee shirt. AIBU to let them? nobody somebody might have said a negative thing never once so I'm just not sure'

I've got 2 DD and a DS and they all play with each other's stuff. They go through phases, robots fight with/marry/ignore elsa dolls etc. I know lots of mixed sib families, and it's just not particularly unusual.

The barely stealth-boasting is grating, I grant you.

YANBU. It's like the posts on here 'AIBU to let DS wear a princess dress' no, you're not. You're being unreasonable to stealth boast about your son wanting to wear a dress. Nobody actually gives a fuck what your children play with or wear unless they're playing with weapons and wearing a bin bag skirt to school ????So no. What a knob.

She must be MN gold star mom. You're lucky for seeing one in the wild.

So NBU

as on here everyone is free to like anything unless it's a girl liking dresses and princesses then it's just wrong

always confuses me

basically toys are toys unless a girl has a barbie then it's all just wrong

MsMargaret the child in question is 4, not yet at school.

Love it ofa!

YANBU.

giles maybe that's why it gets to me so much. My DD is naturally 'girly', she always has been even though she has been surrounded by DSs toys so plenty of access to 'boys' toys as it were. She also loves to wear dresses and pink is her favourite colour - her choice. and I respect her choice and I don't push her to dress/play any other way. but I feel angry that other people may be judging my DD as somehow being a lesser creature because of her taste/preferences.