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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 3 and 5 year olds downstairs while I take a nap?

510 replies

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:19

Basically the kids were all up at 6am today, 1 year old wanted a nap by 9am and I had a bit of a hangover. 3 and 5 year olds just wanted to play lego and watch Adventure Time.

Was I unreasonable to leave them alone for an hour while I napped upstairs?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/09/2015 20:53

If one of them was hurt while you are sleeping off a hangover would you hand on heart feel happy being honest to hospital/HV about how it happened?

msgrinch · 13/09/2015 20:54

They had something to say about my friend leaving her 4 year old alone while she slept off her drink binge, he burnt his arm boiling and then pouring the kettle to make himself a cup of tea. By the time she got to him the damage was done. They went to a and e and the doctor informed ss.

BeeMyBaby · 13/09/2015 20:54

I don't think it's a problem. In the same way I'm happy to be cooking downstairs for an hour while the children (3&5) play upstairs. The only time when I think it's necessary for me to be in the same room as them is when they are in the bath. Perhaps my children are too sensible though (and absolutely terrified of my wrath - woe beyond them if they have to have a time out in the corridor).

Nanny0gg · 13/09/2015 20:56

Most children are sensible - until they're not.

The OP was lucky this time. She may be lucky every time.

Doesn't make her right.

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 20:56

Honestly I would leave out the hangover bit, but napping upstairs while the older ones are downstairs - of course I would.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 13/09/2015 20:56

While you're cooking in the kitchen, you're not sleeping off a hangover though, are you?

NoStannisNo · 13/09/2015 20:58

I am a teacher and I am trying to imagine my reaction if a child in year 1 (which I am assuming your 5 year old is) told me that they played downstairs with their 3 year old sibling while their mum was asleep upstairs for a long time (which an hour would be to them).

I pretty sure at the very very least, this would be logged in some form and probably reported as 'cause for concern' to the designated child protection person, which means it would not go further at that stage, but would certainly be recorded in school and we would be then keeping an eye out for other things.

Spartans · 13/09/2015 20:58

I don't think SS would be interested if the care of them is good otherwise. But if a child was to be injured while the OP was sleeping off a hangover, they definitely would be then.

Especially since the 5 year old is old enough to part with that information.

bingandflop · 13/09/2015 21:00

Agree stannis. I did child protection training last week and I guarantee you OP this would not go down well with school/nursery or SS. At all.

UterusUterusGhali · 13/09/2015 21:02

Tbh I might have done this when I worked nights. No choice.
Iirc though I would sleep on the sofa when they were that age. And you do that half-sleep thing.

Bellebella · 13/09/2015 21:06

I wouldn't myself ever do that. I have wanted to nap when I have been ill but not at your children's ages. it's your fault you were hungover. You suck it up and get on with it.

Bunnyjo · 13/09/2015 21:06

Why would you leave out the hangover bit? You seem so convinced you're not BU, so surely you would tell the complete truth?!

If something was to happen and you know you would omit parts of the story, then you have your own answer as to whether you were BU or not!

BMW6 · 13/09/2015 21:06

Why don't you ring SS OP and ask them if you are so sure they would have no concerns about this........

Bet you don't.

BeeMyBaby · 13/09/2015 21:07

Also nuffsaid makes excellent points about people's houses differing. Although mil's house is a bungalow I would not leave my children unattended for longer than 15 mins as it is so dangerous.

Also do people seem to have more a problem that it was the result of alcohol? Would the reaction be the same if she was just ill?

minionmadness · 13/09/2015 21:08

YABU and IMO what you did was not good enough parenting.

You had a hangover... tough shit, deal with it. Why should your dc be put in harms ways because you wanted to get pissed.

The fact that you wouldn't tell A&E that you were hungover should something have happened suggests that you know this was not right

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 21:08

I'll make sure not to nap while hungover in future, just when I fancy a nap, so I have a clear conscious telling A&E about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 21:10

Of course I'm not going to ring SS and ask them, would people really do that to make a point on the internet?? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 21:13

I'm still not seeing the massive risks of them playing downstairs. They could hurt themselves just as easily if they were playing for an hour in their room and I was downstairs.

OP posts:
NoStannisNo · 13/09/2015 21:13

So if your child's teacher came to you at the end of the day and said 'x told me today that they were downstairs alone with their 3 year old sibling, while.you were asleep upstairs? I just wanted to ask you about it, as you know what kids can be like about getting their facts wrong?!'

You would just casually reply, 'yeah I was, I wanted a nap so I slept for about an hour and left them downstairs'

???

Costacoffeeplease · 13/09/2015 21:15

I actually don't think this is real any more, surely no-one is so stubborn and stupid - 'fancy a nap' FFS

SlowlyGoingINSAINIA · 13/09/2015 21:17

Anything could happen op, the 5 yr old could bang his head and fall unconscious- 3 yr old thinks he is just sleeping or playing a game and doesn't come to get you, 3 yr old could get a wire/sting etc round his neck and suffocate in the time it took your 5yr old to wake you etc.

I know you think such things are unlikely but they do happen.

bingandflop · 13/09/2015 21:18

Probably not as at least you would be awake and your reactions would be a bit faster. Nonetheless leaving a 5 and 3 year old for an hour in their room unattended is none too marvellous as things go Angry

Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 21:19

Stannis, yes.

They are often downstairs or upstairs or outside alone. I've been thinking about whether napping makes much of a difference, but given there was two of them, I could still hear them and you tend to sleep with one ear open as a parent then I reckon actually it doesn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snossidge · 13/09/2015 21:20

Those things could happen in their bedroom first thing in the morning/after bedtime too Slowly.

OP posts:
NoStannisNo · 13/09/2015 21:21

I'm still not seeing the massive risks of them playing downstairs. They could hurt themselves just as easily if they were playing for an hour in their room and I was downstairs.

But an hour is a really.fucking long time for kids.of that age to be left alone anyway, even if you were awake?

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