Husband, badger and piss

[Drmum83]

AIBU?

We have laid some new turf on an area of garden which was wilderness.
It appears to have been dug up over night by badgers (we think) as we do occasionally see them at night.
My DH has now filled all of our nice cereal bowls with fresh milk as a 'deterrent' (fucking idiot). I think that'll just attract whole pissing families of badgers but his logic is that they'll be too busy feeding to dig.
He's currently decanting the milk into Tupperware boxes after I went mental.
I've read human piss can put them off and hence have just relieved myself on the bit of grass. Fuck knows what the neighbours must think...
Anyhows, AIBU to think the milk is a shit idea? I also wonder if anyone has any other ideas?
Thanks!

I can see it attracting a lot of cats and probably hedgehogs too.

Well this is a thread title I'd never thought I'd see....

Hes buying the badgers dinner

Well done for taking matters in hand and weeing on your lawn. I salute you madam!

You are both equally nuts.

Shit - I don't like cats. (Sorry to any cat lovers) Is it wrong that I'm secretly hoping the whole bloody lawn gets dug up now and we come down to a mud bath in the morning? That'll learn him.

It's male wee that works against foxes I thought. Maybe badgers too if you say so, but I think that it's he testosterone in male wee that scares them.

You can actually wee in a bucket and then pour it onto the lawn and be a tad more discrete but what the heck.

Why so against badgers? They are beautiful animals and are very clean animals.

I wouldn't see why they'd be into milk though - they looove peanut butter :)

It has to be male urine and you shouldn't give badgers milk either. Have a look at this
badgertrust.org.uk/media/25861/badgers_in_your_garden.pdf

Oh and yes YABU.

On a serious note (whether the thread deserves it or not ) ... does human urine contain the necessary pheromones to mark territory ?

Drifting OT, our local zoo sells (or used to sell) lion shit for keeping cats out of gardens.

coconut I don't mind badgers, I just don't want them digging new lawn up

If she starts putting out scary peanut butter sandwiches to shock the poor badgers, you'll know that actually he loves them really.

OMG is he Brian May? Are you Anita Dobson? Yay!!!

zebra ha! Yes, good guess!

Did you actually squat on your lawn? Why not just wee in a bucket or jug and pour it?!

hippyChick thanks, we have got rid of the milk now!

blib - baby waking from nap so time pressured, couldn't find a container, desperate for a wee - so yep, squatted. Not my finest moment and, seemingly, complete waste of time having read the male urine theory!

My husband urinated in our garden near our chicken coop to keep the foxes away. Didn't work; They still came back.

I worked with someone who would tell us all about her dad, who killed a rat on their front lawn and then pissed on it to show the rats who was boss.

She always finished the story with 'But we're from Birmingham, mind'

I hope you don't end up killing your lawn. Doesn't female wee have ammonia in it?

My husband pisses on mole hills and I must admit, it does seem to work. (Only the ones in our garden, of course!)

The only thing that has managed to stop badgers turning our lawn into a mud bath/bomb site is to completely fence them out especially around the bottom of the fence because if the buggers can find a way through they will get through, and usually if there is an 'in' hole there is usually an 'out' hole as we have found they have a kind of route round the area, also they will dig up/out any bee's nests as well to get at the grubs/honey

Brilliant thread. Sorry OP.

It'll mark the lawn but do you know anyone with a male dog? It can wee on the grass and this might deter the badgers.

you need silent roar, it's made of lion wee/poo and doesn't smell (apparently)