Husband, badger and piss

[Drmum83]

AIBU?

We have laid some new turf on an area of garden which was wilderness.
It appears to have been dug up over night by badgers (we think) as we do occasionally see them at night.
My DH has now filled all of our nice cereal bowls with fresh milk as a 'deterrent' (fucking idiot). I think that'll just attract whole pissing families of badgers but his logic is that they'll be too busy feeding to dig.
He's currently decanting the milk into Tupperware boxes after I went mental.
I've read human piss can put them off and hence have just relieved myself on the bit of grass. Fuck knows what the neighbours must think...
Anyhows, AIBU to think the milk is a shit idea? I also wonder if anyone has any other ideas?
Thanks!

It has to be male urine

Oh thank you, HippyChickMama. I always believed we had some function besides our contribution to making babies and I had to come on to MN to find out what it is

We have a badger and we live in the middle of a city.
He has torn a three foot hole in the garden fence, dug up 50 daffodil bulbs, turned over and smashed two large ceramic planters, dug up a clematis and made a badger latrine - nothing, and I mean nothing, smells like badger poo.

There are a few things you could try to deter them, but they are persistent buggers. They don't like citrus so we left out lemon peel - didn't work. H peed near the hole - didn't work. Left a solar light near the hole - didn't work.
Someone suggested we leave a radio on in the garden overnight - didn't work, but maybe it was because we had it tuned to Radio 2.

At the end of the day badgers do what badgers do and we have learned to just let him get on with his badger business, which includes the latrine. Sigh.

Great, so now the new grass is gonna be dug up and yellow in the morning, littered with hedgehog diarrhoea.

My parents loved the Badgers in their garden until the lawn started to subside due to the tunnelling... Cost them a fortune to get the set fenced in and blocked off.

There is a badger which comes through our garden, im sending dh out to wee in the garden (and ds1 as I'm slightly concerned that dh isnt manly enough)

Seems kind of odd you had a problem with milk in naice cereal bowls but no issue with pissing on the lawn where your neighbours could potentially see.

This needs to go in classics

in my local zoo you can buy lion poo which is supposed to deter a lot of animals

This is the best thread ever and I want regular updates and a photo of the badger (s)

He does know that rats also like milk?

fizzie - I've actually just pooed a bit at the thought of rats.
20.42 It's started to rain here - dya think that'll keep the badgers at home where it's dry? Otherwise I'll pop out every so often for photo opportunities.

OP you can hang out your DP's smelly socks or tshirts, they will do the same job as his wee as the male pheromones in them will be smellable to badgers.

stench of teenage angst

Like a PP has also said, not sure my DH is manly enough to produce testosterone levels high enough to deter animals!

If there were awards for best OPs then this one would win.

I am literally crying with laughter reading that post. I haven't read any of the replies - just that OP and I'm on the floor.

Have you just tried a sign? Badger height one obviously. Just something simple like ' please keep off the new lawn if at all possible, thanks.'

arkkorox - I think this is the best idea so far. DH is refusing, however, to go to the shed and fetch some paint and a little bit of wood to fashion a badger height sign. He thinks I'm BU! (If we'd followed his ideas from today, we'd have half of the cast of the 'Animals From Farthing Wood' visiting tonight)

Our badgers like peanut butter sandwiches. I had some vegetarian fake ham I left out for them and they wouldn't eat it. Fussy buggers.

stench of teenage angst

Wasnt that a Nivarna song?

My bad

That was smells like teen spirit

If you do the sign maybe put 'ps sorry about the piss '

Hahaha op this thread is brilliant!

Even if your DH would make a sign can he write in badger language?

How about penguin bollards, they might make the little critters think twice about parking their tanks on your lawn and ruining your garden.

maybe you need to organise a willy off in the garden

my parents laid new turf and the badgers came in and made a beeline for it. The stuck their snouts under the corners and sort of rolled it. It was quite distinctive. They did it because when they roll it back there are loads of worms etc.

The only way we stopped them was to physically block them. They had a walled garden, but the badgers were coming in under the gate. they nailed a board along the bottom of the gate and they couldn't get in.

It won't be long before the turf has grown in and they will stop. It is just a very easy way to find dinner!