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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think this man only approached me because I was a lone female

158 replies

BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 18:48

Was driving earlier and the car infront of me pulled over to the right to turn and I then slighty moved to the left to get around him. It was easily done to move around him.
A male cyclist who was behind me then started screaming "what are you doing stop"
Like he couldn't see from the start that the car was turning what did he think I was going to do stay and wait? It was a large road and wasn't a squeeze and the cyclist was behind me so I had right of way!
Anyway so he then bangs on the back left side of my car and I put my finger up to him.
Then there are traffic lights ahead, I watch him out of my window and he is coming up but it looks like he's trying to suss out if I'm with anyone
He then comes up to my window banging on my window asking me why I put my finger up at him and I did it again and told him to fuck off and that if I wasn't female he wouldn't of approached me
He then rode off swearing.

I'm not a feminist or anything so don't get me wrong but I feel this way a lot about male drivers. I notice when I drive my boyfriends tinted Audi nobody drives up my arse or try's to shout at me but in my little KA which known to be a girls car males are constantly trying to bully me with tailgating/flashing ect

Anyone else have this issue?

OP posts:
spanisharmada · 07/09/2015 18:56

Well he definitely sounds like a fuckwit

spanisharmada · 07/09/2015 18:57

Nothing wrong with being a feminist either Smile

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2015 18:58
  1. Your description of the incident will be picked apart by cyclists.
  1. You will be questioned on why on earth you aren't a feminist. --I don't understand why you aren't either.

I get more hassle when DH (looks like Jason Statham) isn't in the car. I don't think this is a coincidence.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2015 18:58

Cross out fail

TooOldForGlitter · 07/09/2015 18:59

I can't get past, "I'm not a feminist or anything". As though believing that men and women have the right to be treated equally is a bad thing.

Gruntfuttock · 07/09/2015 19:00

There is no way for anyone to know whether the cyclist would've behaved in exactly the same way if a male driver had done what you did.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 07/09/2015 19:01

It sounds like you cut up the cyclist.
And he was pissed off.

He was being unreasonable and so were you.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 07/09/2015 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wasonthelist · 07/09/2015 19:03

YANBU to think this tool may have treated you differently.

YABVU to stick the finger up at people - not on, whatever their perceived "offence"

We do seem to have a small breed of militant cyclists who go around looking for things to take offence at and pretend to have been "nearly killed" when no such thing has happened. OTOH there are some ignorant folk who do perform actions that put cyclists at risk - there's no easy way to know which this was - just because you consider what you did was safe doesn't mean it was (or wasn't).

Nothing wrong with being a feminist :)

TooOldForGlitter · 07/09/2015 19:04

gladiator...ready... Grin

WMittens · 07/09/2015 19:04

Some cyclists will approach anyone, so it's not necessarily because you were a woman on your own.

I can't get past, "I'm not a feminist or anything". As though believing that men and women have the right to be treated equally is a bad thing.

I believe men and women should be treated equally; I'm not a feminist.

TravellingToad · 07/09/2015 19:04

Yeah why would you believe that men and women should have the same rights. That'd be crazy Hmm

CatThiefKeith · 07/09/2015 19:05

Mrs TP. I adored your husband, and his taste in hats, but he looks nothing like Jason Steatham! Wink and Envy

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 07/09/2015 19:06

Sounds to me like you cut him up too. Did you check your mirror did you even know he was there before you pulled across. Dangerous.

Agree with gruntfuttock.

wasonthelist · 07/09/2015 19:06

If he was able to bang on your car, weren't you a little close to him?

ScOffasDyke · 07/09/2015 19:06

Sounds like you cut in front of the cyclist. You deserved his angry reaction, you could have killed him. Stop bleating about being female, chances are he'd have reacted the same way if you'd been male

JeffreysMummyisCross · 07/09/2015 19:07

If you're not a feminist then YABU for expecting him to treat you as he would a man. If you do not believe in equality, then you should be prepared to be treated like crap.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 07/09/2015 19:07

Excellent point Jeffrey.

Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:09

I'm just not a hardcore feminist but I'm for rights of women. I wouldn't comsider myself a feminist.
This isn't the point though ladies!

I didn't cut infront of him, he had enough time to stop he just couldn't be bothered to.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2015 19:10

Mrs TP. I adored your husband, and his taste in hats, but he looks nothing like Jason Grin Bald and gorgeous, right?

honeysucklejasmine · 07/09/2015 19:10

[fem-uh-nist]
adjective, Sometimes, feministic
1.
advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.

Advocate doesn't mean you have to out on a picketline or anything. Just that you would state that as your view.

Are there women who don't want equal rights?

OP are you sure he was as far behind you as you think? Did you check in mirrors? Sounds like you cut him up a bit.

ceeveebee · 07/09/2015 19:10

if you were close enough for him to bang your car, he was probably terrified and just flipped. I've witnessed a similar few near misses in central London and I think you'd have got the same reaction if you were make.
And flashing the middle finger and telling him to fuck off? Nice

ceeveebee · 07/09/2015 19:11

Male not make

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 07/09/2015 19:11

WTF?

You don't pull across in front of a moving cyclist causing them to stop. You wait until the lane is clear, then you pull over.

Jesus.

Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:12

Jeffrey's that has nothing to do with the question. Whether someone is a feminist or not does that mean someone should pick on them?
So because someone doesn't follow your train of thoughts it means they deserve to be picked on, right.

OP posts: