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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think this man only approached me because I was a lone female

158 replies

BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 18:48

Was driving earlier and the car infront of me pulled over to the right to turn and I then slighty moved to the left to get around him. It was easily done to move around him.
A male cyclist who was behind me then started screaming "what are you doing stop"
Like he couldn't see from the start that the car was turning what did he think I was going to do stay and wait? It was a large road and wasn't a squeeze and the cyclist was behind me so I had right of way!
Anyway so he then bangs on the back left side of my car and I put my finger up to him.
Then there are traffic lights ahead, I watch him out of my window and he is coming up but it looks like he's trying to suss out if I'm with anyone
He then comes up to my window banging on my window asking me why I put my finger up at him and I did it again and told him to fuck off and that if I wasn't female he wouldn't of approached me
He then rode off swearing.

I'm not a feminist or anything so don't get me wrong but I feel this way a lot about male drivers. I notice when I drive my boyfriends tinted Audi nobody drives up my arse or try's to shout at me but in my little KA which known to be a girls car males are constantly trying to bully me with tailgating/flashing ect

Anyone else have this issue?

OP posts:
Narp · 07/09/2015 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AnyFucker · 07/09/2015 19:25

oh yawn

FarFromAnyRoad · 07/09/2015 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:26

Wasonthelist
Yes I would of because I'm not scared of you or any male, neither are my 3 brothers.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/09/2015 19:27

What a surprise. A poster who thinks "I know! I will join Mumsnet and post about my dubious driving experience!"

Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:29

Flan THANK YOU
I think maybe some don't drive on here. If it was another car they would of stopped so why is the bike so special.
He was trying to cut me!!!

OP posts:
SilverBirchWithout · 07/09/2015 19:30

I am a feminist, but hope that doesn't make my opinion worthless on this thread Smile.

What is unclear here is whether you had just overtaken the cyclist or not, or whether he had caught up to you in traffic. If he was in the left hand gap moving alongside slow moving traffic and you moved to the left without indicating or being aware that he was there I suspect he was right to be a bit peeved. If he was some distance back when you started moving to the left not so much.

Some Cyclists can get peeved and arsey with all drivers (male and female) and don't always consider the road situation from a drivers point of view. But I suspect that behaviour comes from lots of negative experience of drivers carrying out pretty dangerous manoeuvres.

I suspect some road users do behave worse towards female drivers. They also tend to do the same to specific types of cars. When I drove a fairly "sporty" micra I was always being cut-up by people thinking I was a slow moving old codger.

Mind you I also make judgements about BMW and Audi drivers.

Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:30

I've been on here for 3 plus years and you cannot see when I joined either. So please stop with the trying to discredit my character, it's pointless if you don't want to join in the thread go to another, it's not hard.

OP posts:
NinjaLeprechaun · 07/09/2015 19:30

Is it legal in the UK to go around cars that are waiting to turn? Because I'm in the US and it's not legal here - which doesn't stop some assholes idiots from doing it, of course. Still, if it's not, then there's the reason he was telling you to stop.

Garrick · 07/09/2015 19:30

Isn't there anything on the telly?

maddening · 07/09/2015 19:32

Before a cycList filters on the left they Should make sure it is safe to do so as much as a car should look out for them, imo filtering is for when traffic is v slow or stationary and as you were there ahead of him him being moving traffic he should have slowed down down to move with the traffic and not attempted undertaking. Tbh the law is too ambiguous imo regarding cyclists both cars and cycles should know where they stand.

www.cyclelaw.co.uk/overtaking-and-filtering-whilst-cycling

TooOldForGlitter · 07/09/2015 19:32

Neither are your three brothers? Woah, this is getting a bit, my dad's harder than your dad isn't it.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 07/09/2015 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wasonthelist · 07/09/2015 19:32

Wasonthelist
Yes I would of[sic] because I'm not scared of you or any male, neither are my 3 brothers

So you're a badass mother who don't give a .......so why ask about being treated differently? Just keep on sticking the finger up, telling people to fuck off, and get your three brothers to sort it out the next time you are driving dangerously? Have fun.

JeffreysMummyisCross · 07/09/2015 19:32

I blame the BBC, Garrick. Imagine what it will be like after the cuts . . .

scatterthenuns · 07/09/2015 19:33

OP, you are a feminist.

TooOldForGlitter · 07/09/2015 19:33

If you've been here for three years then you namechanged for this thread because this is your only thread under the name BlondKadie.

SoupDragon · 07/09/2015 19:34

please stop with the trying to discredit my character

You're doing a fine job of that yourself :)

Garrick · 07/09/2015 19:34

Yes, Ninja, it is. If there's no specific place for the other vehicle to turn off, you wait politely until they've finished their manoeuvre. Moving into the nearside lane in front of another vehicle is an offence, particularly if you didn't signal well in advance, and even more so if the other vehicle is a vulnerable two-wheeler.

The Highway Code doesn't mention women drivers who want all the advantages of feminism while distancing themselves from the cause. Perhaps I should make the suggestion Wink

Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:36

Soup go away why are you still commenting? You think I'm fake then move along

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:38

Toold
There isn't a contract to say I must keep the same name, I have changed my name a few times, so what?
Is Mumsnet the dwp or MI5?

Wasonthelist
Why are you on mums net?
Key word is MUMS
"Would you say it to me a 6'4 bloke"
Like I said yes I would male on MUMSNet

OP posts:
WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 07/09/2015 19:38

Careful soupdragon she'll set her brothers on you Grin

Original poster
BlondKadie · 07/09/2015 19:38

Scatter
I actually think I am lol

OP posts:
WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 07/09/2015 19:38

So in summary OP

Sounds like you were BU

Does that answer your question?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 07/09/2015 19:39

So cyclist was going in a straight line at the road edge, has a clear path. You pull into his path forcing him to stop. He's upset, you flip him the bird, he's pissed off.

There's a million youtube videos of motorists cutting up cyclists like this. The cyclists often get a bit excited and don't seem to care whether it's a bloke or a woman driving. Sometimes if it's a bloke the bloke gets out the car and thumps the cyclist. Women seem more inclined to say sorry.

I had a road rage incident a while ago. Bloke went crazy because I didn't let him out a side road. He overtook me in an incorrect lane and did an emergency stop infront of me while screaming abuse. He then spent the next ten mins crawling along at 10mph, doing emergency stops and sometimes reversing back up to me. Must say it crossed my mind he wouldn't have done it to a bloke. But happy to do it to a middle aged, 5ft woman and her daughter.