To be absolutely sick of people bragging on social media

[SeagullSal]

It's reached ridiculous proportions, people 'checking in' at posh hotels, sipping glasses of Champers in spas and even documenting new car purchases (that seems to be the new thing with a hands over eyes emoticon denoting the 'worrying' amount of money that they'll soon be spending.)

I am happy for people having nice times - but it's the ones who document every single sneeze of good fortune that I'm absolutely sick of.

Do these people not realise that a lot of people have nice times in nice places but just don't wish to ram it down other people's throats in a continuous stream?

Time I took a break I think. And breathe.

The ones I hate are the piles of presents before dc birthday and recently a distant friend who doesn't work and her dh works minimum hours he has to to get benefits on minimum wage posted pictures on fb of their stay at a top London hotel. My sensible brain says they can spend their benefits how they like but I couldn't help thinking they are getting too much money if they can afford that. I felt like a daily mail reader for a moment!
I do however like seeing holiday pics but I guess we go on holidays so maybe I'd feel different if we didn't.

Forgot about the social ones that make people feel left out. I often have social evenings with friends but never have I taken a photo and put it on fb. I'm usually too busy with the people in with the think about showing people im not with what I'm doing.

YANBU, and yes you're right we can all brag about lots of things at different times but we don't have to. I can't see how bragging on a social media site is any different to bragging in the real world. In general no one likes a bragger, all it does usually is make the other person feel that something is lacking in their lives. Why piss people off, it's not necessary.

Recently I was at a family meal with my mum and my children, celebrating mum and her ptnrs anniversary and I was having an awful time, wishing I was anywhere else. In a lull in the conversation (there were many cos I was a right moody cow) I offered to take a photo of us all. So I took a picture and my ds took some pictures of us all smiling around the table.

I posted it to Facebook and my mum "liked" it and used the picture as her new profile picture, cropping out my two kids from the right side of the shot (wtf, right?) and all of her lovely hanger on friends posted "looking good girls" etc.

And I thought to myself afterwards, I have just conspired to post a bullshit disingenuous version of family life, all sitting round a table smiling happily when a picture of Munch's Scream would have been much closer to the truth. Communicating to my friends and mums friends that we are a happy family all enjoying good times together. Possibly making people jealous of how together and normal we all are. And I posted this picture! I have to put the blame on myself.

Since then I have stayed off Facebook with a view to deleting or at least changing my password so I can't see anything on there anymore.

I have two real proper friends on there and lots of people who are work related acquaintances, friends of family, distant cousins etc, and The real friends are the ones who keep me on there. I think Facebook functions like a religious cult. Apparently people in the cult don't plan to leave, they just put off the decision to leave and end up staying by default. That's what Facebook is like.

One of these real friends said she misses seeing my news on Facebook. Argh.

My mum is on Facebook and gets my news via Facebook but given her default reaction to everything I do is derision and sarcasm, I can't be bothered any more. She has started in on my kids too, deciding to pathologise every one of my ds's habits. Like son puts butter in the fridge, and washes his hands after stroking mums dog and my mum acts like he has OCD. He is just sensible! So she cannot find out my news via social media any more.

YANBU to find 'look at my 5 luxurious purchases every day this week!' braggy and unacceptable. It is - in both real life and social media.

YABU to find 'I'm having a nice dinner with my DH', 'I had a nice day out with my kids' bragging. It isn't. These people are just recording nice times and sharing those with friends.

The difference between bragging on social media and bragging in real life is on social media you can instantly switch it off if you want to. What's the worse that can happen if someone notices you've unfollowed them? Just say 'Yeah facebook was doing my head in so I've filtered it right down, nothing personal'. It's not a big deal.

People who (genuinely) brag on social media are posey twats, but people who carry on reading numerous braggy posts just so they can be judgey, and then also lump in harmless holiday/nice day out/tasty meal/anniversary celebrations with the braggers, are moaning whingers and much worse, IMO.

The hospital check-inners (giving no explanation) are definitely even worse than that though!

I dunno about religious cult
it looks like a big game of no holds barred one upmanship to me!

bluecheque4595, your Mum sounds a bit of a nightmare anyway. Back in the day she would surely have taken pictures of this anyway, had them developed, cropped them and shown them to the hanger-on friends? I don't think it's facebook's fault this happened because your Mum sounds like she'd be like this anyway. People who desperately wanted to brag or fake life was better always did so - facebook now gives you the chance to switch it off if you want. At least online.

Back in the day she would surely have taken pictures of this anyway, had them developed, cropped them and shown them to the hanger-on friends?

True, but facebook takes it to a new level in a way that transforms the game

The edited and carefully curated highlights of other people's lives are instantly accessible via multiple devices.
This is very different to photos in an album which rarely see the light of day.

Far far more effort and time is devoted to creating the facebook profile/ personna than anyone ever put into a collection of photos in pre internet days?

Hi Raiyia. Nice name, I have a baby cousin with that name. Yes, I think mum would be like that anyway. I went from Christmas to August without seeing her and the full horror of her mind games impressed itself upon me this latest visit, making me think next time to see her we will check into a hotel and use this to justify staying one night only. I think the difference is with her behaviour and Facebook is that now because of Facebook it is painfully obvious that she thinks so little of myself and kids. If she was cropping us out of pictures in her own life, I would not know about it and what I don't know can't hurt me.

I recently discovered that two of my worst offender friends for posting constant stuff on Facebook about their wonderful lifestyles, perfect husbands and children etc etc etc were in abusive relationships and regularly being beaten up by their husbands. Horrible. Since then, I've taken braggy Facebook stuff with a pinch of salt, because I think people do it because that's how they desperately wish their lives were, and they're doing it to convince themselves just as much as convincing everyone else.

I also have a couple of friends who post endless photos of their children - not just a few, but at least 40-50 photos from every day out, even if it's just playing at a friend's house. They just make me think that the person taking the photos spent the day taking photos instead of actually enjoying time with their children.

Spot on Dawn.

If your facebook looks like a game of one upmanship/a cult/a bragger's paradise, guess who decided to look at stuff like that on there. You! You made online friends with these people, you keep following them. Facebook didn't come pre-loaded with a bunch of wankers checking in at Mulberry, you put them on there and now keep reading their boasts.

Perhaps you didn't realise they were like that when you 'befriended' them, but now you do, so do something about it instead of whinging.

Be friends with lovely people who you actually know who share their hobbies, lives, interests, achievements, jokes, opinions. Then it looks nothing like the hell some people describe but is a great tool for ideas, inspiration and fun with friends from anywhere.

Just cannot be doing with people who keep whinging about something they can very easily change.

Hmmm. That does sound crap bluecheque4595 - do appreciate if family members in particular post hurtful things it's very hard. That's different to the bragging the OP is on about. I think she can do lots about that, where as I do see it's hard for you to do much.

YANBU.

My pet peeve is the sticking-out-boobs "am I good-looking?" shots to which everyone responds "sexy lady" or "lol you look gorgeous"

FGS

Havent RTFT, but I have a facebook account and check it once every 6 months. i have no need to advertise my life. its my life and is nobody's business what I am up to. I would much rather call people and physically talk to someone rather than 'liking' something I posted. Or email which is more personal. I really dont get the whole thing and dont care. I did think it was cool for about 1 week when I discovered it. Too much effort after that. Maybe I am too old and grumpy. I dont care and you dont have to [like] my post!

I know someone who posts a lot of very carefully posed shots of herself, dressed up in glam outfits, in which she really does look amazing - and gets loads of positive comments.

But in RL, she's in a terrible state (psychologically very unwell, behaves terribly in her relationship, definitely needs some help but won't get any). It's obvious I suppose that the most insecure or helpless-feeling people are likely to seek validation in various ways, and FB gives them a way. But it's not a very helpful way – either you just get a load of surface-level approval, or people get annoyed with you for bragging and faking.

Hi Raiyia, I am constantly asking myself why am I such a pussy and why don't I deactivate Facebook? But then I just go on with it.

I have a few boastful types on Facebook but if I am happy in myself they don't bother me. In fact someone who posts boastful holiday pictures does inspire me to visit the same places one day, maybe.

I joined a work related page and it is a mixed blessing. Useful to help me with my job, but depressing because it deals with ongoing tests so its depressing to remind myself about forthcoming tests I have to do. Its like sitting in the dentist waiting room listening to a drill and thinking, me next!

My facebook is full of cat memes and pictures of cakes and that's just how I like it.

There's a steady stream of political stuff and some friends post lovely pictures of days out and stuff they are doing. I don't think I have any braggy friends though. The only one I'm remotely jealous of is the one who posts pictures of things she's baked which are Bake Off standard, which is something I am never going to achieve with my slapdash attitude to baking.

If people annoy you, restrict them, or hide them.

I must be wierd, I love looking at photos of friends dcs stood at the door in their school uniform, reading updates from friends who say how much they love each other, cat photos, petition shares, links to interesting articles, updates from people who I only know thought FB, photos of piles of Xmas presents and new dresses.....

I love it all, apart from the Minion memes, they can fuck off.

I don't want to get flamed, but I turned off FB a few months ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I was so sick of the happy 2/3/5 /6 month /3 week anniversary to my wonderful husband/wife. Just shut up! Send a card, buy them a gift, stop going on about it.

I also hated the perpetual saccharine positive posts about how amazing life is. In the same way I dislike the miserable woe is me posts. It's very telling the people who commented a lot are not my true friends as they haven't messaged once since I left. Only real friends message me personally, and honestly I prefer it.

I know this will be really controversial, but I turned off nearly everyone who posted things about their children. Other peoples children are very rarely interesting to other people!

I like seeing what my friends and their children have been up to, a lot of my friends live abroad or in other parts of the UK so it's a good way to keep up with what everyone's doing.

But then I am ridiculously nosey!

OK, just had a quick look on my FB out of interest. The worst offenders on mine have so far today posted:

O1: 5 posts, including 2 boasting about a (very minor) work achievement, the standard reference to "hubby" one to remind us all how successful they are in relationships and 2 selfies. Every post begins "I did".

O2, the sports blogger, has posted 7 times about training sessions, but bearing in mind its only just past midday, has linked to Time Hop historical ones (twice), commented on how hard her sessions were yesterday (3 times) and appealed for people to meet her for planned sessions (unobjectionable). No selfies so far, but 3 yesterday.

O3, by far the worst, has only posted once, with 4 selfies, of a present given to her by an adoring fan friend. Complete with OTT smalchy comments about how much she loves her and how lucky she is to have such great friends. But yesterday and the day before featured in excess of 100 photos, not all holiday photos but many of her and her boyfriend in different poses, and selfies from different angles. Bad enough, but accompanied by comments reminding people of how great she is and her achievements. If she comments on anyone else, its only in relation to herself ie they are her friend and great, and popular and attractive and therefore reflect well on her.

O4 has posted 10 times on different sites about her business. She does this usually twice a day ie 20 different business posts, often with derogatory remarks about other practitioners, and reminding others how great she is in comparison.

There are more. But I can't bear to look.

Meanwhile I do have FB friends who are genuine high achievers in the world of work and sport, who never post anything more than about their ordinary activities in quite a factual way. Never any boasting. You would never know of their achievements if it wasn't for the fact they were relatively famous.

I love it when you have 4 FB friends who all go on a night out together and then spend the whole night posting photos of different glasses of alcohol. So your newsfeed is full of 500 photos of the same group of friends in various combinations from different angles of the same bar, with different glasses of alcohol.

I imagine they spend the whole night discussing the photos they've taken and giggling as they post them, then let each other know how many likes and comments each photo has got and reading them out to each other.

I would hate to go on a night out like that.

I also have a Woe is Me one, I've only met her once in real life, but she does seem like a nice person. Unfortunately she posts constantly about her depression and how people should do this and that to help her, otherwise they shouldn't blame her if she commits suicide. She also wants funding but doesn't want to work. A lot of people have defriended her and its obvious she is struggling but I don't know what to do so I try not to judge.