To be absolutely sick of people bragging on social media

[SeagullSal]

It's reached ridiculous proportions, people 'checking in' at posh hotels, sipping glasses of Champers in spas and even documenting new car purchases (that seems to be the new thing with a hands over eyes emoticon denoting the 'worrying' amount of money that they'll soon be spending.)

I am happy for people having nice times - but it's the ones who document every single sneeze of good fortune that I'm absolutely sick of.

Do these people not realise that a lot of people have nice times in nice places but just don't wish to ram it down other people's throats in a continuous stream?

Time I took a break I think. And breathe.

U2 I find keeping friends on FB who you don't really like or think are bragging is vulgar as well.

Do you just keep them on there so you can look down on them to make yourself feel better?

Looking at people's posts and moaning about what they post about but doing nothing about it is quite pathetic. It is also pathetic to think someone is bragging because they shared with their friends that they went out to eat and had a good time.

If you are happy with your lot why do you even care? It stinks to me of people being unhappy and resenting others who are happy and making them in the wrong so they can feel better about themselves.

Wow. Err (bit nervous to reply now), I'm quite friendly and try to be friends with most people I meet. I get invited to things, get to know people better, and then, as you do, you tend to add them on FB. Sometimes it takes a while to realise just how boastful people are. Maybe they hold back at first, maybe it has a cumulative effect. What I don't do is judge people straight away but when they behave quite poorly over a long period of time, I would tend to distance myself and if I find them intolerable, quietly defriend them on FB. Or unfollow them. If they're not that bad, the friendship tends to cool anyway.

The boasting I was talking about is a lot more extreme than saying what they had to eat with friends though (which I don't find objectionable at all), its describing in great detail what they do every day in terms that make it seem that they are outstandingly talented and skilled, posting constant selfies and literally saying things like "I'm so good at what I do", "I did really well. I thought I did well that last time but this time I even bettered myself", "I'm making no excuses for blowing my own trumpet", etc..

I don't really what I've described above is that pathetic, resentful nor making myself feel better. Of course, if you only have the same friends that you did at school or similar, then you will never face these dilemmas.

I don't think it's petty to filter facebook so you just see what you want to. It's what you're supposed to do, it's why the tools are there.

I do think it's petty to leave your facebook unfiltered so you can have a good whinge about what people post without actually doing anything about it.

I'm very happy my facebook friends post a variety of interesting and happy stuff and require nearly no filtering. But that's probably me just bragging about them

Agree with the poster that says that friends won't notice. They will.

It's the endemic bragging that gets me. It's now rapidly becoming the norm.

Raiyia OP, those of us who might tell our friends that we went somewhere really lovely for lunch have very much kept to the sentiment of the thread by repeatedly answering your But Why? question.

We've patiently explained the many reasons why (some use it as a diary/scrapbook; most are happy to see what friends are doing; some use it for ideas; people use it to keep in touch with friends with similar interests such as nice food, etc, etc)

The way this response is written is actually a great example of the strength of the ego involved. Note the almost royal use of "we" and the condescending description of "patiently explaining" (as if the ordinary person should be grateful for the time spent).

The majority thankfully don't brag on FB, they can tell the difference between describing things that happened to them in a way that's interesting and not boastful, sadly the braggers cannot. On and on they drone, blissfully unaware that they are making tits of themselves. Most of my friends on FB don't actually post that often, maybe between once and 3 times a week. I can't actually think why someone wouldn't be embarrassed if they post about their lives 6 or 7 times per day, for one thing, they have far too much time on their hands and for another, just how egotistical do you have to be to actually think people are interested in that?

We have also answered your question of AIBU to be absolutely sick of bragging on social media? Yes, YABVVU because you can hide/unfollow/block and unfriend so you don't see any bragging. Simple.

Obviously you are meant to have a sixth sense so that you can tell the boring boasters in advance, so that even those who are "simple" can take action.

So will you answer us as to why you don't if 'bragging' is so troubling to you?

It takes time and a build up of trivial self centred posts to make you realise just how awful a person is. Also, politeness generally means its easier to ignore than take action, unless it reaches extreme values. Of course, the more egotistical will mistake politeness for interest...

Nope, not the norm on my facebook. Never a single check in at a designer boutique. Can't say I can remember the last time I saw a blingy bag. My facebook is full of friends and family around the world living their interesting lives, their thoughts, opinions and funny stories, useful advice, ideas, laughs etc from groups I belong to.

Meanwhile you're carrying on following your 'braggy' friends because you're worried they'll notice if you don't follow them.

If unfollowing/hiding is too scary for you - in order to remove the 'endemic' bragging from your feed the answer is utterly simple: Get. Better. Friends.

Wish there was a clap emoticon on MN.

I'm actually quite tolerant of people posting about having a good time. But there is a difference between:

"Having a meal at X restaurant with Friends A, B and C, lovely food and great company" accompanied by a photo or two

and

"Having a meal at Swanky X restaurant, DH had to pull a few strings to get a table here next to the window, but I guess they only put the good looking people here haha. With Friends A, B and C, I'm so busy it was hard for me to fit this into my social week but there you go" accompanied by 8 photos, including 4 selfies with differing facial expressions/camera angles of the writer.

Or "3 photos of son's exam result for one subject, accompanying description "Son top of class again, that's 3 times this year and teacher says he is really talented" and similar posts every fortnight or so for an entire year. Acceptable: a couple of posts describing happiness at son doing well in exams, probably not too specific.

Or Acceptable: posting a couple of pics every few months of a special purchase you're particularly pleased with.

Unacceptable: posting photos of virtually everything you buy, every few days, and an obsession with material goods (just assume you have a massive credit card bill anyway).

Don't get me started on the fitness freaks posting about every session they do. You're not an professional athlete, you're actually quite uncompetitive, its not that interesting. I feel embarrassed for you mistakenly thinking that people do find you as interesting as a proper athlete.

ElkeDagMeisje: "....when they behave quite poorly over a long period of time, I would tend to distance myself and if I find them intolerable, quietly defriend them on FB. Or unfollow them...

OP has mentioned one friend who posted 5 times in a week about luxury purchases including a fancy new car. I think many would find that pretty intolerable and take your suggestion above if that was going on on our facebook. It's never happened on mine though so I reject the 'it's endemic' bit.

OP's can determination to keep friends and seeing posts like this when it upsets her is v odd.

Yes that.

Some people feel guilty when they defriend people. Others don't spend that much time on FB but occasionally use it to catch up, so are probably quite shocked at seeing their newsfeed dominated by posts from one or two people describing their various achievements over the course of a day...

I do actually have people on FB that actually brag by way of telling people how great they are. I mean, they do actually do that - they won't just describe what they did but will add on comments about how clever/talented/exceptional they are and embellish further about how extremely well they did to achieve it. They are girlfriends/boyfriends of actual friends, and I don't feel I can unfriend them. But its cringeworthy. Really cringeworthy.

To be fair, I live in quite a noveau riche area.

I always think its nicer though when someone slightly underplays their achievements and then you find out they are a Nobel prize winning Olympian.

I've just joined FB and to begin with I was amazed at what shit people put on there and found it all quite over-whelming as it does give you an insight into people who you want to avoid. But after a while you realise that it is these people who keep FB going, if everyone was like me it would be incredibly dull - the odd carefully chosen post about something modest and cultured. Tbh we are worse than the people who post everything and anything.

I like the shit memes. The repost this or you don't care about tortured animals. People yacking about how awful their day was, holidays to Majorca, weddings, babies covered in porridge and funny dog films. I love FB!

I think you misinterpret bragging with people just wanting to keep the FB wheels turning.

Me too.

I have a really good friend who really has things going on.

She's a caring person but also very fortunate in other areas of her life, which I only know about through knowing her.

She is on FB but would never boast about the nice places she gets to go to frequently or things she has.

'These people keep the wheels of FB turning'.

I have to say - you could have a very good point there.

Bragging doesn't bother me as tbf I don't want a date night with their dh a designer handbag or a Porsche.

The thing I can't stand is when people post constantly about illness and their children vomiting. I mean why?

If the unacceptable examples are regularly appearing on your facebook I'm . I can name maybe two friends who over-post selfies and I take the piss mercilessly out of them, as does everyone else, so they are better now. Otherwise, none of the shite you've suggested goes on. My friends are normal people posting normally happy things about the happy times they are having. Why would you follow people who post that sort of rubbish in that way? Get friends who do facebook sensibly instead, there are loads out there!

That last was to Elke. Re: unfollowing boyfriends of friends. A good friend's DH posts a couple of times a month about how awesome he is. As it's so infrequent I just laugh and scroll on. If it was every day damn right I'd unfollow. That's what unfollow is there for!

Why would you follow people who post that sort of rubbish in that way? Get friends who do facebook sensibly instead, there are loads out there!

As I say, I didn't realise what they were like! I don't feel I can defriend them as they are part of an organisation I am also part of or girlfriends of friends. Not yet anyway...

It really is the most awful boasting. They simply cannot just say they did things on FB at all. I actually quite enjoy reading about people's achievements, or unusual holidays. But when its always posted in the tone of boasting or making other people feel inferior, its cringeworthy.

I've also got a nasty one who I'm going to have to defriend. I was friendly with her when she was younger but since she bought her own house with her DP she's become unbearably arrogant. She is nasty because she posts criticising others so as to make herself seem more skilled/reliable in her chosen field (which isn't a particularly hard one). Theres a real nasty edge to it, as if she wants to actually ruin people's reputations.

I have a Facebook 'friend' who is guilty of this. She left school at 15 before her GCSE's to work for her daddy selling carpets. Daddy bankrolls her for absolutely everything despite the fact she's married now (her husband now works for the family business too). She also now has a baby and I know for a fact she only works 3 days a week, the rest of the time she's checking into nail bars, hair salons, fancy restaurants (mostly with her parents in tow as they are paying) and today she has posted a photo of her brand new top of the range car with the status 'work hard, play even harder'

Makes me laugh. She doesn't know the meaning of work....

I have defriended genuinely nasty people. One was a relative (!) but his posts were vile. If people are just very annoying I think it takes a while to notice an unfollow so it's kinder and given the sound of some of these people's arrogance they might not even notice/care anyway.

Elke, you seem to be happy to see your friends having and expressing good fortune and in nice places (providing they're not wankers about it), and you also take action if it carries on, whereas OP came across as not wanting to do either of those things, both of which were odd.

"It's the endemic bragging that gets me. It's now rapidly becoming the norm."

Not my experience and some of my friends are very well off and have very nice lifestyles.

I posted about my children vomiting just the other day Tobysmum .

In my defence, they are teenagers who had both been swimming in a certain wild spot just hours before.

Totally agree, YANBU at all. Just remember it's all a bit fake and a few images of moments of lives aren't actually their day to day lives. I am not engaging with fb nearly as much as I used to as I got a bit sick of "just don't know what to pack for our tropical holiday", "here are the pictures of our new big house", "my husband is amazing, look what he bought me" type of posts. Don't be jealous, people who are really living the dream are too busy doing that to post pics all the time.

Raiya I am with you!

I have a filter on my fb and delet or block people I don't want to see stuff! I love seeing what my friends and family across the world are up to.

Thanks Terrified.

Yes, I think facebook is entirely what you make it. Be friends with good people, join groups that interest you, don't post like a wanker, don't follow those who do. Spread the joy, fun stuff and happy times. I love it. So yeah, I find it hard to understand people who would rather it grind them down. It just doesn't have to be like that.

I made the mistake of letting FB grind me down for a while. It made me feel isolated and unpopular that everyone else around me was going out for 'girly nights' and questioning why they couldn't have invited me along.
I deactivated for a while and really enjoyed the break, but missed the viral memes/videos etc and the groups I was a member of.

I no longer care if people notice that I unfollowed them - if they couldn't invite me out for a drink with them then why should I be interested in them going and doing it with everyone else? Eventually I think people stop appearing on your newsfeed if you don't interact with them.

The people who get me down are the ones who are constantly checking in at hospitals - that seems to be a 'thing'. It often highlights to me how people misuse the NHS "my daughter fainted getting a piercing, sat in A & E :( "

Raiyia is absolutely correct, it's what you make of it.