to be pissed off about people who complain about how tired they are

[PunkrockerGirl]

I am not including parents with babies or young children. Or people with older children with disabilities.
I mean people like my colleague who bounces into work saying she's really tired because she's only had 5 hours sleep. This is a one off for her, she says she sleeps well normally but we should make allowances for her today.
I would donate a limb/kidney for 5 hours sleep. Average between 3-4 hours and don't expect allowances to be made for me.

There are lots of reasons why people cannot sleep.

I was given relaxation Cds by my counsellor due to sleep depravation.

I was tired everyday.

I also have 3 dcs so know all about sleep depravation.

I'm glad you weren't one of my colleagues at the time.

I aLeo work with a woman who suffers from stressful sleep patterns I would never criticise her for complaining it is awful when issues in your life make sleep difficult.

Quite glad I don't have friends as unsympathetic as a lot of the people on this thread seem to be.

I've suffered from horrendous depression at times and I'm sorry but I've needed to 'moan' about it to close friends and family. It's cathartic and it helps me. Maybe in future I should just shut up and go and live in a hole under the floor.

I think yabu. But I do understand and frankly I get a bit annoyed a well. All this 'I need 8 hours sleep to function'... Well so-bloody-do-I, but I never get it so I just have to try and function anyway.
But iabu as well. No point making a competition out of it really.

I dislike competitive tiredness and I strongly believe this is a major factor in a lot of relationship problems of people with young children. It's so easy to slip into though, particularly when there is resentment in other areas.

Everything is life is comparative (comparable?). Some people are thoughtless and make you want to kill them with their (as it seems to us) trivial moans. It's always been like this and always will.

I think the way we respond to what we see as other people trivial moans, depends on our own state of mind. It's better to try and feel happy for people whose moans are so (to us) trivial, that their lives are relatively trouble free. It's better for us than thinking "oh shut the fuck up, you don't know you're born". God I sound like a right annoying Pollyanna type. I suppose I always try and look on the bright side otherwise I would go mad

I think if you have serious troubles whether it's insomnia, poor health, etc, it can be very easy to slip into "resentment of other people mode" whereas actually, it's a lot better for your own mental health to be grateful for what you have got. And sometimes, having serious troubles does really make you appreciate the genuinely important stuff.

Ewww my post sounds a bit sanctimonious doesn't it, sorry.

I've suffered from insomnia and depression for years. To be honest I was just as tired pre-DC as I am now. I try to sympathise with anyone who is having a moan, as I think different people feel tiredness in different ways. Sometimes it's easier to tolerate tiredness too. I can sometimes get 4 hours of sleep and still get on with things the next day, whereas other times I'll get 6 hours and be completely useless.

Playnicely great minds

hazeyjane personally I would never burden my friends by whinging or offloading, my burdens are mine to carry, not to dump on somebody else. Likewise I have more than enough to cope with in my own life without listening to other peoples' whinging.
I will happily sit for hours and hours trying to help a friend find a way through any troubles they're having, or trying to find practical solutions, or even finding ways to help them deal with things they can't change, but if it's something they could do something about but instead want to whinge then no, I have no time for that. It cuts both ways, if I ever tried to whinge or lapsed into self pity I would hope that my friends would give me a strong boot up the backside.

PurpleHair - didn't sound sanctimonious at all! Good point about competitive tiredness, it is corrosive to relationships.

Whinging is in the eye of the beholder though, isn't it? One person's need to feel the utter shitness of their life acknowledged and just heard for five minutes without being offered solutions, may be just fine with one person, intolerable to the next. There are people I just can't listen to and do tea & sympathy, but that's me, not them.

Thing about whining for the sake of it, is it can be addictive and catching. So by moaning for five minutes one could wreck the other persons positive mood for the rest of the day, and that could have an effect on how they respond to other situations and people and so on.
Nothing wrong with asking for help finding a solution, I'll do that no worries, but sitting and talking about how shit life is and there is nothing to be done about it, is damaging to everyone. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be around hopelessness and negativity, because it makes me feel down too.

What's this sleep you speak of?

Playnicely yy, 100% agree.

I think your lack of sleep has made you irritable yabu to expect everyone to cope as well as you can on little sleep.

I will happily sit for hours and hours trying to help a friend find a way through any troubles they're having, or trying to find practical solutions, or even finding ways to help them deal with things they can't change

Sometimes there is no solution, sometimes you don't want someone to constantly offer up solutions (especially if you have tried everything), you just want someone to acknowledge that, 'yes, sometimes life is a big pile of crap' and sometimes you just want someone to hand you a cup of tea and let you have a big cry.

If my friend is feeling down about something that I have no experience of, how can I 'help them deal with things...' apart from acknowledging their pain and offering friendship.

I am amazed people get 8 hours sleep in the week when they have to get up for work - they must go to bed really early! I'd like 8 hours but never really have time for it.

Chrome I tend to get almost 8, 10 till 5.40 ish. Though I was up till midnight working last night so not always.

I am a lousy sleeper, always have been. Short of going to a sleep clinic, because I don't I actually have the time what with working, bringing up children etc, I have tried everything to try and help myself sleep better. Oh yes, it might work once but it's not a permanent solution for my shit sleeping patterns so it gets on my wick when people suggest stuff to try because all to often I've tried it. Prolonged lack of sleep is awful and only folk who experience it have any sympathy. I don't expect any allowances to made for me when I'm exhausted. Maybe just understand that the reason I'm not full of beans and all smiles is because I just don't have the fucking energy. I'm not trying to bring your mood down, I'm just trying to get myself through the day.

Yabu, op.

I'm constantly tired, partly because I have so much to do before bed, partly because I have to get up so early, partly because DS seems to think his bedtime should be 10.30 (he's 4), partly because of MN. I generally don't mention it unless DH is having a go about me snapping.

Chrome - I go to bed at 10ish, asleep by 11 and up just before 7, so easily 8 hours.

But equally I'm amazed that people without young children, illness, insomnia or shiftwork don't manage to get 7-8 hours a night

BadKitten I wasn't, but now I am! Thanks!